Alan Carr. You know him right? No, not the guy who wanted you to stop smoking tabs - rather, the comedian who likes to pour glasses of Taboo for unwitting guests whilst making jokes about his own teeth. Yeah, that one. Carr seems to polarise opinion, with some loving the old-time camp schtick, with others endlessly irritated. Well, he's got admiring fans who may well be trying to tempt him away from Channel 4.
Wayne Rooney was in the Everton team at 16, Theo Walcott played for England at 17. Now Sky 1 ask who will become Football's Next Star? The showdown is between Ireland and England! Over the past 6 weeks, 10 young men aged 16-18 have been battling it out to win the chance of a lifetime - a contract with Jose Mourinho's reigning Serie A champions Inter Milan. Only three lads remain, two Irishmen and an Englishman - all desperate to be crowned victor in the final of Jamie Redknapp fronted football talent show Football's Next Star.
The One Show is one of those programmes that really polarise opinion. For some, it seems to produce unnatural levels of bile, whilst other people merely take it for what it is - a throwaway magazine show that is designed to mildly entertain and little more. Whatever you think of it, the ratings are generally very good - so it's popular with a lot of people right? So you wouldn't want to tinker with the format I'm guessing. Well...
You know super famous Will Smith? Actor, rapper and all-round nice chap? Well, unbelievably, he's said that he fancies a cameo spot in BBC soap Eastenders. The former Fresh Prince has admitted that he was enamoured by the show when he watched the omnibus while on a trip to the UK. "I was just chilling in my hotel and EastEnders was on TV. I didn't even know what it was, but I literally could not stop watching it," Smith is quoted by The Sun as saying. "It was like a week's worth of episodes in one. Before I knew it, all I had done was get room service and waste a whole afternoon watching this show I'd never heard of!"
Related: More Eastenders
The executive producer of The Simpsons, David Mirkin, has said something rather contentious. He's said that all other animated television shows "are crap". Whilst speaking to the nice folks over at Digital Spy, Mirkin said: "With the greatest respect, all other animated shows ever are crap! I have to say, some shows we don't appreciate too much, but there are some that are brilliant. South Park has a very long run and it's still brilliantly funny and inventive. I see that running for a long time, but I'm very sure that it could never come anywhere near us - I'm pretty comfortable in that!"
Related: Do Channel 4 have The Simpsons on shuffle? | Simpsons versus Mad Men
Thanks to Ms Gail Trimble and her ability to provoke one hell of a reaction, the last series of University Challenge has already claimed its place as one of the most high profile ever. But it doesn't stop there - oh no. Now the BBC have announced that they are investigating claims that one of Gail's team members, Sam Kay, wasn't actually a student at Cambridge for much of the series. Could the Corpus Christi team be stripped of their trophy?
Related: Random Hate: Gail Trimble | The Apology | TV Review: University Challenge Grand Final
As attentive and observant television viewers, it can't have escaped your collective notice that the UKTV network has been undergoing a few changes over the last few months. It started with UKTV G2 becoming Dave, and now they're all doing it! UKTV People recently regenerated into Blighty, UKTV History becomes Yesterday next week, and even Dave's +1 channel is getting a rebrand: it is now Dave Ja Vu. Oh my sides. If you're anything like me, you may have got a bit confuzzled, but fear not, TV Scoop is here. Pop over the cut for a handy guide...
See this guy here? With his weird bug-eyes? He's pretty distinctive looking, if you've seen him move and wiggle in the flesh. Once you see him, there's no denying that it's him. So with that, imagine my surprise when, Eurovision: Your Country Needs You was on (in the background I hasten to add) this weekend, and it dawned on me that the very unique face singing away in front of me was a face I recognised from somewhere else... somewhere most unusual.
What's worse than nearly drowning? How about nearly drowning on a TV show, in front of millions of people? Worse still, imagine Uri Gellar stood by, watching. Well, this actually happened to a woman called Amila, a 26 year old who took part in a show called The Next Uri Geller. So what on earth happened? Was she trying to recreate that Radiohead video? Was she taking part in some nightmarish initiation process? Thankfully not...
I watched Celebrity Big Brother last night (Channel 4, 10pm). Don't ask me why, but I did. Naturally, it was pretty much a dullfest, apart from one bit that creeped me out. If you've picked up a tabloid today, you may already know what I'm talking about. It involved Verne Troyer and a plastic baby doll. Now, this is where sense and nonsense separate. I thought it was a bit weird and then left it at that. What followed after witnessing a tiny man kissing a toy aggressively was distinctly cup shaped. However, some morons have complained branding the whole thing "disgusting" and the like. Beggars belief!
Related: More Big Brother on TV Scoop
Hey boys and girls! Ever watched Dexter and thought 'Prrrrr... what I'd do to him given half a chance...'. There's no two-ways about it... Michael C. Hall is a handsome chap. Well, the bad news for those of you who fancy him, is that he just got married. The weirder news is that he's got married to his sister! Of course, I don't mean that he's really got married to his sibling, but rather his co-star Jennifer Carpenter, who plays his sister in the show.
Related: Our Dexter section
Andrew Lloyd Webber (he is, isn't he? He isn't? Fair enough. My bad) has accused Simon Cowell of "torturing" contestants on The X Factor. Now, I've been known for slagging X Factor and the like before, saying how cruel it is. If only I'd know there was actually torturing on the show! I guess that's the price you pay for rarely watching it. Baron Von Webber added that he thinks that it's tight that Cowell is always "tricking" contestants on the ITV1 show, rather than developing them as artists. "He doesn't work with the artists like I do. I'm here to get the best out of everybody," he told The Sun.
Related: Eurovision Review | Andrew Lloyd Webber slags The X Factor
Contestants are said to be "furious" at the choice of song for this year's winner's single - Hallelujah - which Diana (she of the Left Hand) sang at boot camp. They reckon it's yet more evidence that the result of the show is already decided. Surely no-one can believe The X Factor is fixed?
Related: X Factor on TV Scoop | Review of last week's show
Okay, this article is from The Sun, should everything you read can be taken with salt. Okay? Okay. Lettuce begin. I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here is about to return to our tellies on Sunday night. As ever, there's a little fuss over the identities of the participants. Well, as I mentioned, The Sun have announced who is in... for some reason, they've led with 'Carly Zucker was set for bushtucker glory!', despite the fact I've never heard of her... and anyway, I'm way more interested in the prospect of Robert Kilroy Silk.
One of the best moments from Stephen Fry in America thus far, was when he visited the Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream HQ, and on making his own ice-cream, delivered the brilliant line of "a chewiness and a crunchiness... and a yielding mouth-feel... I'm making this up as I go along." Well, aside from this providing us with a brilliant bit of telly, it will now provide us with smiling stomachs as Stephen Fry's very own ice cream has been created by Ben & Jerry's for mass consumption!
I'm all for taking the piss out of people on the box, but sometimes, you have to hold back because something doesn't feel right. I'm talking about Kerry Katona and her performance on ITV1 show This Morning, which all seemed horribly wrong. So wrong that people have been phoning the station to see if she's okay. Video over the jump...
Related: Kerry Katona
Despite reports here, and here that the Lib Dem MP has signed up for next year's BB, the latest is, I'm afraid, a denial.
I'm quite disappointed about this news, it'd have been good to see how he held up. Surely he didn't have much to lose - his dignity disappeared some time ago. He should take a leaf out of Michael Barrymore and Les Dennis's book and give us, the potentially voting public, something entertaining to watch. To learn to love. Because, for all his tabloid ubiquity, former "Mr Cheeky" Lembit remains a bit of a spud-faced mystery.
You can tell I admire John Lydon because I use his proper name. He's had a bad press over the years, but if you actually listen to what he says, he makes a lot of sense even if he has - it must be said - gone a bit extreme in recent years. Still, he's fantastically creative, sticks to his guns and was by far the most entertaining thing about that series of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. He's also a nationalist, which is quite unfashionable, but makes him perfect for an advert for a very British butter that he's going to be starring in, from this Wednesday...
From: TV Review: Too Poor for Posh School, Channel 4, Thursday, 11 March, 9pm