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You might think, it being the final episode of this series of The Apprentice and all, that I'd have more important things to think about than that opening sequence I've been banging on about. Well, you'd be wrong. I mean, really - the same intro? For the final? ARE THEY FREAKING KIDDING ME??!
There's no smoke without fire right? Unless you invented the smoke machine. Anyway, Little Alan Sugar is getting his tiny little knickers in a twist after being accused of using a booster seat on The Apprentice.
Responding to the rumours, Sugar told the Press Association: "That's a load of rubbish. The chair is fixed to stop it moving backwards and forwards while allowing me to swing to the left and the right. Anyone who watches the programme will know that I stand next to Nick and Margaret and the candidates, and I'm seen getting out of the car thousands of times," he said.
At the time of press, we could not confirm whether Siralan had been seen getting out of Dinky cars or not. Still, read over for 5 amazing facts about Alan Sugar that I bet you didn't know.
I'm sure that everyone who has some interest in The Apprentice is perfectly aware that the final episode is on BBC One tomorrow at 9pm. But there's every chance that you've missed an episode here and there, so you can pop over the cut for a quick catch-up, using quotes from my reviews, and links to write-ups of every episode in full.
You probably won't need reminding that The Apprentice (BBC One, Wednesday, 11 June
9pm) is set to climax and announce the person who will end up working for Alan Sugar. Hangonaminute! There's this thing called 'double dipping' which is generally frowned upon in the business world. Basically, from my rudimentary grasp of such matters, I think it means that someone takes two lumps of money from one project. So, in this case, Siralan will get his pay packet from starring in this show AND make a rake of money from whoever wins the show. Either way, people aren't too fussed about that and are waiting with giddy tummies to find out who wins the gameshow.
I've no doubt that as soon as this series of The Apprentice comes to an end, the casting agents (sorry, highly qualified business people) will be looking for another group of aggressive bullies (sorry, bright and dynamic young things) to take part in the competition (sorry, interview) next year. Perhaps you're thinking of applying? Well, are you someone who'd stand out from the crowd? Who won't think like every other applicant? Do you have life skills and interests away from the business world? Yes? Then I wouldn't bother applying after all - you're clearly a little too zany for Sir Alan...
It's the semi-final! Woop! And as tradition dictates, it's time for a good old fashioned face-to-face interview with a hard-nosed business man - or woman, as Karen Brady has joined the team this year after "earning Sir Alan's respect". Dubious honour that... The Apprentice is back on in its usual spot tonight after being unceremoniously dumped to Tuesday by the football last week. I'd say "enjoy!", but don't we always?
I was going to start this post with "DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD" until I realised a) Michael isn't a witch and b) that's a bit harsh. But you know what I mean - how could I *not* celebrate the fact that Michael Sophocles has finally, finally been fired from The Apprentice? About three weeks after the time at which he *should* have been fired, admittedly, and even as he did the deed, you could see that Sir Alan was wondering whether he was making the right decision (YES! YES YOU ARE!) but all those provisos aside, Michael is gone. About time too...
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