Simon Cowell is going to leave American Idol at the end of the this season. This saw one American (on Twitter) breathing a sigh of relief and thankful to see the back of "that type of format". The bad news for them is that he's leaving Idol because he's struck a deal to take The X Factor to Fox.

Are you sick of people talking about the Christmas Number One? There's been loads of rubbish ones... yadda yadda... Rage Against The Machine was a victory for 'proper music'... yadda yadda. It's all been fun and, simultaneously, filled with real bores. I should know. I'm one of them. Anyway, next Christmas could be very different from this one.

TV and music twice collided this year to make the most memorable moments of 2009. First, we had Michael Jackson's funeral, which was brain rupturingly odd... then, out of the fug appeared John and Edward, startling all in their wake on The X Factor. Whilst MJ's memory is being kept alive in dubious tribute shows and dancing competitions, Jedward are alive enough to make their own show... and it looks like it's happening.

Before we even start, let's not kid ourselves that the Christmas Number One has ever been good. The list of musical crimes is long and winding. Rolf Harris beat The Beatles' with 'Two Little Boys'... St Winifred's School Choir, Bob The Builder, Mr Blobby and Renée and Renato have all appeared at the Christmas top spot. Let's not forget Cliff Richard's dubious entries into this supposed holy grail slot.

The X Factor (ITV1) is over. Some will say 'PHEW! Finally!' and, well, they're idiots. You see, if you don't like The X Factor, then you don't really like television. You're a passing fan of the box if a show like this doesn't swallow you up and turn you into a giddy, saucer-eyed simpleton. I've been completely won over by it and now?

The X Factor final is upon us once more and we've got a real, proper, closely contested final. After a couple of predictable weeks (aka The shows that immediately followed the exit of the baffling Jedward), we're now faced with a final show that is pretty much impossible to call.

Get those thumbs aloft because Paul McCartney, the only man to have ever bonded with Gary Barlow over sweetcorn, has confirmed reports that he is in talks to appear on this year's X Factor.

It's finally happened. The unspeakable has hit us square in the face and everyone is left dumb and numbed-out like a Valium addict, slumped in a hedge of nettles. We're beyond pain. It's all turned into one long blinked-out fuzz. That's right, John and Edward are no more.

Reports are suggesting that Danyl Johnson is ready to quit The X Factor after a massive hissy fit at Simon Cowell. This spat is over the fact that Cowell won't change his song choice. Zoinks! According to The Mirror, Johnson stormed out out of a rehearsal because he does not want to sing George Michael's 'Praying for Time'. No. I can't say I've heard of it either.

Once again, The X Factor provided TV that tore your eyes outta your skull and launched them into the stratosphere. Explosions, ticker tape, giganto-rigs and... well... Queen. Yep. It was Queen Theme and once again, we were all reminded that, without Freddie Mercury, the Queen back catalogue sounds like a damp fart in already wet scads. Aside from Brian May appearing in his squash trainers and pubic hairdo, everyone was chattering about one thing... and that was a pineapple.

The X Factor is the most brilliant thing on television. That's not to say that it's well-made or credible. Who cares about the latter anyway? Idiots, that's who. But it is the most dazzling polarising show on the box. People react to it like it's a football team. X Factor is the Chelsea FC of TV land that clearly has too much money and ruthless with it. Of course, it's prone to turkeys, but it's also likely to throw out the gold.

Related: More X Factor

Okay, if you're going to have kittens about a spoiler, then walk away now. Seriously. We're potentially going to ruin a secret for you because we completely stole the news from a newspaper we found out all by ourselves which song is going to be butchered by the mighty John and Edward on this weekend's rock special X Factor. Of course, the news is over the jump so you don't read it by accident.

I've got scabs on my retinas. That's because I've spent a weekend in the company of The X Factor and the spin-off shows (various times, various ITV channels) and was treated to the most eye-ball stripping show I've ever seen. From the minute the show starts with its high-octane, heart palpatating music, with it's flaming sent-from-ye-gods symbol evaporating the very clouds that protect us from the sun, to the garish light show of the stage, to the judges impossibly white gnashers, my eyes were destined to be damaged forever.

Related: More X Factor

American Idol starts this week (ITV2, Thursday 15 January, 8pm) and there's a new judge in town, joining Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul. Simon Cowell has added a new, female judge to the UK version, The X Factor, very successfully. Cheryl Cole was drafted in and immediately became a hugely popular member of the team, and Cowell has copied this refresh strategy for American Idol. The new judge's name is called Kara DioGuardi. Who she?

For all our X Factor news and reviews, go here.

As an old boss of mine used to say, "I love it when a plan comes together." By which he meant, when what should happen, actually happens. Last night Alexandra Burke, bookies favourite, my favourite, and easily the most talented of the three remaining acts, was crowned X Factor winner for 2008. There were tears. There were great performances. There was graciousness in defeat. All in all, definitely in my view the best X Factor final ever, and certainly one of the best winners ever.

Someone must have mentioned to the four remaining acts that last night's show was kinda important. Without exception, they raised their games and, each in their own way, gave us performances that upped the ante on anything that has gone before in this year's X Factor. But as Simon was big enough to say after the last song had been sung, there were two acts in this semi-final who were in a different league, and neither of those two acts are his.

For all our X Factor news and reviews, go here.

I'm not too sure why I'm getting so het up about this, but after having watched The X Factor on Saturday and witnessing some pretty high standards of live singing, I was actually quite looking forward to seeing Britney Spears in the results show. I'm not a fan of all the popular music stuff, but somehow I was swept up in the hype and found myself sitting down with a glass or two of red wine, ready for The Britney. I really shouldn't have bothered. I mean, she looked pretty amazing and did that jerky dance move where she snapped her elbow back and behind her head (the type of move that people in moves do when they want to hit someone in the face who is standing behind them), but phooh... how bad was the backing track?

For all our X Factor news and reviews, go here.

In every series of The X Factor (except, perhaps, the year Leona Lewis won) there comes a point where even to the most casual observer, the mood changes from a talent competition to a popularity contest. Last night, after two of the most powerful, passionate performances of her X Factor career, Ruth Lorenzo bowed out. Without question, not the worst singer of the night, but without a natural fan-base in the UK and having been in the bottom two several times, she was clearly the favourite to leave in the first week where only the voters dialling fingers were doing the picking.

For all our X Factor news and reviews, go here.