Vampires have long been a staple in mass media. TV-wise especially there always seems to be a vampire show on the go (the theme of vampire investigators seems to be weirdly prevalent - Forever Knight, Angel, Blood Ties, Moonlight - due to the ability supernatural powers give them to sniff out blood and zero in on clues?). There's been a claim of a resurgence of vampire themed entertainment recently as True Blood became popular for its depiction of a world where vampires have 'come out' and live freely in human society.

It features rather hilariously over the top depictions of bloodlust and orgiastic frenzies, and doesn't really capitalise on the core market of the Twilight watchers - dewy-eyed teenage girls who are longing for another abstinent vampire to ritually offer up their necks to. Enter The Vampire Diaries, the newest American import shipped over by ITV2.

The Vampire Diaries comes with a gold standard of teen market talent behind it; based on a popular series of books by Young Adult author L.J. Smith, it is brought to our television screens by Kevin Williamson, who any connoisseur of teen angst will recognise as the creator of Dawson's Creek and the writer of the Scream films.

Ian Somerhalder, probably the only recognisable face in the acting ensemble having played the ineffectual Boone on Lost, also brings with him a solid background in guest-starring on teen shows and a stint on the short-lived series Young Americans, which I fondly recall as one of the strangest teen shows I've seen, featuring as it did a cross-dressing girl who Somerhalder falls in love with and a quasi-incestuous sub-plot.

Critics have so far been underwhelmed by the first episodes but I must say I rather enjoyed them. All the over-familiar plot devices are present - Elena has secret pain caused by her parents passing away, Stefan is mysterious and broody, gothic mist rolls and sways across the landscape and a crow flies overhead as the two bump into each other at the graveyard. The show is burdened by a clunky 'Dear Diary' narration and soundtracked by a passably good indie mixture (Bat For Lashes, Stars and The Raconteurs are some acts featured).

The acting is fine, as it goes, and of course the stars are all very pretty. It's precisely its mediocrity that makes it so enjoyable. It has the air of a 90s classic teen show about it, I don't want to get all 'Kids these days...' but it has an earnest air and a complete lack of attempting to be at all edgy or forcibly cool that feels a world away from something like Skins or Gossip Girl.

Watching it felt to me like putting on an old cosy jumper. I almost went into a Proustian reverie, I felt like I was 14 again with much smaller problems than my overdraft and nine-to-five woe, camping out on the couch to watch the travails of people much prettier and suspiciously better spoken than me. OK, I'm pushing it with the Proust thing, but all I'm saying is my formative years were defined by Buffy and Dawson's Creek and watching The Vampire Diaries was for me an affable nostalgia trip, if nothing else.

I was planning on reviewing Gossip Girl today, but as last night's episode was so shockingly dull, I don't want to bore you. Nothing happened. There was almost some plotting, almost some sex and almost a scandal, but really there was nothing even vaguely exciting. The shiny shiny Gossip Girl just isn't doing it for me at the moment. Why? Here are my five reasons why I think it's losing its shimmer.

I can't stand WAGs. Standing about, getting your tits out for Nuts magazine and then drinking endless glasses of champagne in a rubbish club is not a job. Unless they get a cut from Heat Magazine's profits. But Coleen Rooney is different. She's not your average WAG and Coleen's Real Women seems to support this. I can't imagine Posh presenting a show like this, can you? It's a good attempt though, despite it being a blatant vehicle for Coleen. Even if it is just a little too good to be true.

Paris Hilton's British Best Friend. Even that sentence sounds wrong, doesn't it? Well, the premise of having a line up of screaming young girls and then picking one to be your new best mate sounds wrong too. No, not just wrong... creepy. The show was inadvertently hilarious. But most of this was because of the contestants, not Paris herself.

Oh Gossip Girl how I've missed you. Yes, you're trashy, shallow and really have nothing to say to me about the state of the world. But you're fabulous. With your pretty little dresses and bitchy little quips. All wrapped up in a rich, Park Avenue setting. I'm in heaven. Luckily ITV2 saw the first episode of series 2 finally airing over here. Was it worth the wait?

There's a grim pleasure to be had when someone gets a taste of their own medicine. Jeremy Kyle makes a living from exploiting those with troubled lives and now, it seems that everyone is going after a piece of him... and to be honest, it's hard to be sympathetic. The circus surrounding Kyle now is the allegation that the talk-show host had a fling with a 16-year-old girl accoridng to Digital Spy.

Kyle's solicitor has denied the claims made by a friend of the schoolgirl, Becky Hayes, who is now a local radio DJ. The unnamed friend told The News of the World that Kyle struck up the relationship when Hayes was on work experience with him at Birmingham radio station BRMB. It seems trouble is going to dog the 'human bear bater' for a while yet...

John has already reported on Sharon Osbourne’s promise, sorry threat to quit The X Factor after two of her acts found themselves the most unloved by the voting public. But now news is surfacing that Sharon’s tardiness made another appearance, this time off screen and all for the benefit of fellow judge Dannii Minogue. Reports claim that Sharon burst in on Dannii in her dressing room before filming of Saturday night’s first live show, leaving the Aussie pop princess in floods of tears. But what caused this outburst?

A source claims: “Dannii was crying so badly she had to have her make-up re-done three times. All of Sharon’s frustrations came out. Dannii tried to keep calm but there’s not much you can do when Sharon is at full throttle. She’s been jealous of Dannii getting all the attention and publicity ever since she was brought on to the show.” Another witness adds: “Sharon was in her dressing gown and stormed into Dannii's dressing room, accusing her of saying things about her. Dannii denied it and the row just escalated. Dannii was in tears." Show officials are trying to downplay the incident, but it looks like it’s the judges enjoying the X Factor spotlight, rather than the contestants. Again.

[via Digital Spy and The Sun]

Friday nights on ITV2 must be the place to be if you, like me, are called Katie. At 9pm is Katie and Peter: Unleashed, a talk show by celebrity marrieds Peter Andre and Katie Price/ Jordan which is followed by new comedy sketch show Katy Brand’s Big Ass Show. I’m new to the world of the other KB, but apparently she has been building up quite the comedy resume with work on Comedy Cuts, Tittybangbang and Peep Show. Now she’s been given her own show by those generous folk at ITV and she’s using it to spoof many celebrities including Kate Moss, Kate Winslet (so many Kates/ Katies!) and Lily Allen (who, as we all know, is sadly for her, not called Katie.)

Turning your one-woman antics into a full comedy show can be a make-or-break moment for many, but Katy is supported by IT Crowd actress Katherine Parkinson (I wonder if she calls herself Katy!) in her attempts to crack the big time. Having watched a number of teaser clips on YouTube, I have to admit it’s not tickled my funny bone, but I’m not one to turn my back on a fellow Katy and wish her all the best for the show. Catch one of the sketches below to see if you’re going to be staying in for the Big Ass Show on Friday night.

I'm so late with a review of Saturday's (and Sunday's) X Factor "judges' houses" double bill that it can hardly be called a review any more, but the truth is I was left with so little enthusiasm when faced with this year's lacklustre final 12 it's taken me until now to summon the energy to write anything about it. Ian Wylie's excellent Life of Wylie column on the finalists and their journeys succinctly expresses my own views in its first few sentences. Manipulative, a parody of itself, and yet a seemingly unstoppable force in Saturday night television for the time being.

Previously I might have whipped up a run-down of the 12, with a bit of their sobback stories, hopes and aspirations, but as Digital Spy has already done a good job of this, there seems little point in repeating it. So if the points have all been made, what's left to say about this year's X Factor? I'm sure I can find something.

I missed last week's opener, but according to MediaGuardian's report of the viewing figures Billie Piper's introduction to the secret life of Belle de Jour was an instant hit, attracting 1.8 million viewers and providing the channel's biggest audience in 13 months not to mention being the best rating non-terrestrial commission so far this year. But as that article points out, this series has been heavily trailed and the heady combination of a scantily-clad Piper in a story basically concerning sex and the different ways men want it was hardly likely to be a wallflower.

This week's story (and I use the term loosely, because the plot was skimpier than Piper's little-black-something) was full of atmospheric and claustrophobic camera work and was indeed beautiful to look at from every angle, but I'll be very interested to see how the overnight viewing figures stack up against last week's. From what I saw there's very little here to hold the interest of anyone who doesn't have a Nuts subscription.

We all know how popular The X Factor is. Simon, Sharon and co.’s bitchy catfights bring in over 8million viewers for ITV on a Saturday night, and it is this viewer loyalty that has encouraged the reality show to launch its own scent. Yes, you too can smell like those lunatic contestants always sweatily waving their arms about in an ‘x’ shape or Simon Cowell in his high-waisted trousers. Apparently “the men's version smells of lemon, bergamot, lime, apple and pineapple, while the women's has a floral scent.” So no undertones of Louis Walsh’s morning breath? Shame.

Manufacturers of the perfumes, ScentUps claim it will help its wearers become "part of the excitement and glamour of becoming a pop star". With vendor The Fragrance Shop adding "Since the talent show phenomenon first launched there has been massive debate about just what constitutes the X factor and more importantly who has it, and now it's been bottled for everyone." I fear for the future of civilization when such ‘must-have’ items are launched. If this is the fabled dawn of scratch’n’sniff TV, will we now be able to smell like any of our television favourites? Big Brother, Doctor Who, How Clean is your House? The possibilities for pointless pongs are endless.

[via Digital Spy]

Oh dear. Things go from bad to worse for those involved with The Jeremy Kyle Show. Of course, when I say 'oh dear', I actually mean har har. We all know that the show was branded a "human form of bear bating" (still the greatest TV review ever) and now it seems that there are more evils lurking beneath the skin of the show.

Producers of the daytime show have denied that they plied an alcoholic guest with beer before he appeared on the programme. Peter Davies featured in a February episode of the show to discover why his father had excluded him from his will. He has since claimed that staff at the studio persisted in giving him alcohol and has insisted they were stirring him "up for a fight". Davies told The Sun: "They basically wanted me to make a fool of myself - and that's exactly what I did. I was half-cut by the time I went on stage. They knew I was an alcoholic and they should never have given me a drink."

I feel so out-of-the-loop with Entourage. The clips make me laugh, the trailers encourage suitable interest but… I have yet to regularly watch it. I’m almost too scared to have a go now, as I’m so far behind and just feel I should buy the DVD box-sets and start from scratch. However for those of you who do love Vince and the boys, and like to reserve some special time for you all to hang out – good news, as season three of Entourage hits our screens tomorrow night.

Vince’s star continues to soar with the premiere of Aquaman getting everyone excited. Drama and Turtle can’t decide on dates for the event, while Vince is determined to escort his mother to the showbiz knees-up. Ari is more concerned about his new office and struggles with his finances. Online reviews confirm that season three builds on the show’s past successes and with Jeremy Piven having recently scooped the Emmy for best supporting actor in a comedy, Entourage shows no signs of slowing down. Now if only ITV would stop hiding it away on ITV2 – are they not allowed to show anything of quality on ITV1?

When you're giving a TV programme a kicking, you are mostly looking for that one line that manages to undercut the whole premise of the show whilst hitting the nail square on the head. It's a very difficult skill, but one seemingly owned by a Manchester judge.

The judge condemned ITV1's The Jeremy Kyle Show as a "human form of bear baiting" after a guest on the programme became the first person convicted of assault on a British talk show. Manchester district judge Alan Berg (officially my new hero) made his comments after David Staniforth was fined £300 plus £60 costs for headbutting bus driver Larry Mahoney during a row on stage.

So after all the hype, last night saw the Primetime Emmys dished out for the 59th time. Some of the results were expected, some less so while all eyes were on Ryan Seacrest in his first time hosting the event. The theatre-in-the-round stage proved unpopular, but here at TV Scoop we give you the inside scoop on the events: who embarrassed themselves, who made it all look effortlessly easy and who wants to join Desperate Housewives? It’s all in our speeches round-up.

Host Ryan Seacrest used his opening speech to mock his own role as MC: "There are over 6,000 people here tonight. All of them talented, all of them looking incredible, all of them passed on hosting this year" while also making time to include TV hot property Hayden Panetierre (Claire Bennet in Heroes): "Congratulations on turning 18. My gift to you - seating you as far away as possible from Jeremy Piven."

An idea floated by the media regulator Ofcom - to help maintain "public service" programming by sharing out the licence fee between BBC and commercial broadcasters - was criticised by both BBC and ITV bosses this week. ITV executive chairman Michael Grade, speaking at a convention organised by the Royal Television Society, said he didn't want any of the licence fee.

TVScoop has covered many stories centred around how the BBC is struggling with its finances after a smaller-than-expected licence fee settlement, so it will come as no surprise that BBC director general Mark Thompson was also against the idea, saying it would weaken the corporation, which is has no other source of revenue. Channel 4 has yet to comment, but would also be in line to benefit from any change to the distribution of the licence fee, which will be considered by the government in 2012. Click through for your chance to decide what should be done with the licence fee.

Media secretary James Purnell MP has told broadcasters to move on from the controversies that have dogged the TV industry this year. Purnell, who was speaking at the Royal Television Society Cambridge Convention, said that TV produced in this country was something to be proud of, and that it was the content that would "win out".

Purnell urged broadcasters to draw the "right lessons" from recent controversies, commenting that they need to "respect their audience", who expect a certain standard from UK broadcasting. "You [broadcasters] need to put your house in order, and if you don’t there will be a clamour for Ofcom and the BBC Trust to take further action... I do think people feel let down. But you only get to feel let down if you hold something in high regard in the first place," he said.

We told you back in March that ITV had rescued the project to bring the story of Belle de Jour to the small screen and now that project is almost upon us. Based on the best-selling, real life diaries of Belle de Jour: The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl, this eight-part series - ITV2's first ever unique drama - provides a no-holds-barred insight into the life of a high class escort. While the real Belle maintains her anonymity, her diaries have been turned into fresh, sexy stories by a team of women writers led by Lucy Prebble.

Producer Chrissy Skinns says: "The Belle of the blog and the books is bright, direct and funny: all in all, a strong portrayal of a contemporary woman. Our Belle is equally intelligent, confident and witty, but probably displays more vulnerability: she is fictional and that is an important distinction to make, particularly as we were keen to preserve the real Belle’s anonymity. So the series is not an adaptation of the book but rather it became an excellent springboard."