It's Joe's funeral tonight, but do things go according to plan? And is he going to be given a dignified farewell? Of course not this is Coronation Street, so expect fireworks and recriminations as it all kicks off.
Monday, March 15th, 7.30pm and 8.30pm.

7.30pm: Fed up with his family arguing about him, Simon runs away while in Blackpool. Evidence against Gail mounts as two witnesses to her final fight with Joe come forward. Kelly does Nick's dirty work and searches Underworld for the accounts, while John lies to Fiz as he prepares to deceive the education authorities.
8.30pm: Peter controls his anger as the Barlows and Wilsons unite to search Blackpool for Simon, and Tina is horrified as the police question Gail after finding more inconsistencies in her story. Armed with inside information, Nick makes Carla a tempting business offer, and John returns from a successful interview

For more Coronation Street stories go to Corrieblog

Corrie gets very exciting tonight as Gail and Joe go for a supposedly 'romantic break' to the Lakes. When Gail discovers Joe's plans to swindle the insurance company to pay off his debts she tries to stop him taking the boat out. Predictably though the whole thing goes wrong when Joe ends up in the soup while trying to fake his own death! Will he lose his own life for real?
ITV1, Mon 8 Feb, 7.30/8.30pm

CLICK ON IMAGE BELOW TO VIEW IMAGES FROM TONIGHT'S EPISODE

As ever Ant and Dec picked up their fair share of gongs at this year's 15th annual National TV Awards, including most popular entertainer presenters for the ninth year running (surely they must have both been at school when they started winning).

But it was Stephen Fry's night as he picked up best documentary for Stephen Fry in America as well as a Special Recognition Award with video tributes from Prince Charles, Daniel Radcliffe, Alan Davies and Jo Brand among others.

'OMFG', he exclaimed before going on to deliver a speech in his usual articulate fashion. Other winners included Craig Gazey, aka Corrie's Graeme Proctor, who jumped around the stage like an excited puppy ("Give me a leather jacket I feel like a rockstar), Doctor Who which took the prize for best drama for the fifth time and Gavin and Stacey which won most popular comedy programme.

CLICK ON IMAGE BELOW TO SEE THE AWARD WINNERS

For years Hilda's flying ducks were a regular on the Street thanks to Hilda's 'Muriel'. But now it seems that another bird is putting pay to Corrie's proposed move to Salford Quays.

STV reports that the noise of seagulls have foiled plans for a 'Coronation Street' set relocation, relocation, relocation.

Craig Gazey who plays Graeme Proctor told Manchester radio station Key 103: "I heard they were going to take it to Salford Quays, but someone mentioned the seagulls.

"Because it's based in Greater Manchester, Weatherfield can't suddenly have seagulls, because obviously we film outside - we can't have, like, 'All right Ken' and then seagull noises."

The actor said ITV producers were now in the process of finding another location to shoot the soap, which has used the same exterior set since it was built in 1982. He added: "We do need a new Street because as we're going into HD it's going to look absolutely rubbish."

Via Corrieblog.tv

Just when you thought that reality TV couldn't get any freakier, along come those crazy TV folk with yet another mad-cap idea. Monkey Tennis anyone?

This time the concept is turning former pop stars and some folk I've frankly never heard of into opera stars, along the lines of BBC2's Maestro, but less worthy presumably. And guess who we'll get to judge it - Meatloaf and, er, Laurence Llewelyn Bowen. They should get along just spiffingly. It could be the greatest thing ever, but it probably won't be.

And just when did Alex James, a credible bass-playing pop star with one of Britain's most influential bands of the 20th century, become this cheese making reality TV star?

From Popstar to Opera Star, ITV1, Friday, 15 January 2010, 9pm to 10.30pm

CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW TO SEE THE CONTESTANTS TOGGED UP IN THEIR FINERY

After Mrs Merton and the legendary Royle Family anything written by Caroline Aherne deserves my attention. So I had high hopes for The Fattest Man in Britain, which airs on ITV this Sunday, December 20th, 9pm-11pm. And while I wasn't entirely disappointed by this watchable and well performed drama, it's not really in the same league as some of her previous work.

Featuring a superb Timothy Spall as Georgie Goodwin, it's a touching tale with some nice music from Badly Drawn Boy. Remember him with that silly hat he used to wear. Set in Rochdale and inspired by an ITV documentary a few years back, Georgie is without doubt one hell of a fat man! Obvious questions arise such as how did they get that Timothy Spall to look that fat - did they get the fat suits from Little Britain? And just how does he go to toilet?

But what's striking about Georgie is just how different he is. With a high pitched voice and an almost obsessive need to appear clean and well groomed he's nothing like the stereotype of the bluff, fat man who cares nothing about his appearance that many of us have.

His size, it turns out, is caused by the psychological effect his mother dying 23 years ago - a need to eat to take the pain of her death away - and he hasn't left the house since. Instead he makes a living from being a kind of circus act for very stereotypical foreigners (they look like they are are straight off the set of 1970s sitcom, Mind Your Language). These curious, camera-toting foreigners are delivered to the house by taxi driver cum agent Morris Morrissey who claims he is taking them to see 'The Eighth Wonder of the World'.

As ever, with Aherne's work there's shades of light and dark in this drama. There are genuinely funny bits, most of them provided by Bobby Ball who is excellent as the aggressive but sometimes clueless agent, not least when he asks for a black Latte and then tries to conduct high level negotiations with another agent with his milky moustache.

But there are really touching scenes too, including one where Georgie and Amy - the pregnant gardener who Georgie has taken under his wing to protect from an abusive boyfriend - are lying on the floor singing Moon River. Indeed it's very reminiscent of the scene in The Royle Family where Jim and pregnant daughter Denise are lying on the bathroom floor waiting for the ambulance.

On the whole this engaging comedy drama is definitely worth watching, but if you are expecting the subtlety of The Royle Family you may be disappointed. The storyline is predictable and straight out of Hollywood.

Inspired by Wild Swim - the excellent book by Kate Rew - Robson Green's Wild Swimming Adventure is as much about one man's journey of self-discovery as it is about swimming. Still coming to terms with the recent death of his father, a former miner and apparently excellent swimmer "who could swim for miles in 10 degree water in his swimming trunks", Robson is on a mission to swim across to Holy Island, a swim that his father never made.

In the first episode, which screened on ITV last night (December 8), Robson traces his childhood 'wild swims' including in a now heavily polluted and overgrown river and in the sea at the coastal resort of Seaton Sluice, where Dad "hurled me into the North Sea in my white Y Fronts." From Newcastle and Northumberland, Robson heads south where he begins his wild swim training in Plymouth's Tinside Lido where he meets two men who recently swam a mile in each of 100 lidos across the UK. Then it's over to Porthdown, Cornwall where he experiences the 'paradise' of swimming in a hidden tidal pool and to Devon's Burgh Island where he swims along sea bass: "a beautiful way to see Britain."

Piers Morgan has a reputation (in some quarters) for being a ruthless interviewer who will ask the questions that other people don't. But really, I wasn't expecting this show to be much different to Piers' previous interview shows. And it wasn't, aside from the added ITV fluff that they threw at the show with snippets from friends and family. It was a bit like Parky meets An Audience With. Just with one of the most annoying blokes on the telly thrown in for good measure.

As tonight's Corrie seems to centre around Tony Gordon, and this means lots of brooding, I've devised you all a little drinking game to make it more exciting. And wahey! Friday night means two episodes so by the end of it, you'll be giggling and really very excited. Or, you'll all be doing very bad Scottish accents and shouting "Muuuuurrrrrddddddurgh" at the telly. What do you need? Any bottle of spirit/wine/port. Or sweet sherry if you fancy doing an Emily Bishop. Some housemates or a cat to play along with. Otherwise it's a bit pathetic.

Check out the rules after the jump. And remember, TV Scoop insists you drink responsibly. This is just for silliness, it's not our fault if you call your ex and have a headache the next day.

For more Corrie stuff, go to our sister site, Corrie Blog.

X Factor hobbit Louis has, apparently been suffering unwanted harassment from a fan (there is one!) after a joke was played on him by rival judge Simon Cowell.

You can tell I admire John Lydon because I use his proper name. He's had a bad press over the years, but if you actually listen to what he says, he makes a lot of sense even if he has - it must be said - gone a bit extreme in recent years. Still, he's fantastically creative, sticks to his guns and was by far the most entertaining thing about that series of I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. He's also a nationalist, which is quite unfashionable, but makes him perfect for an advert for a very British butter that he's going to be starring in, from this Wednesday...

Do you live in the North West of England? Do you have a face like a bag of spanners? Can you stand to be in the same room as the woman pictured here, for longer than a minute? Do you enjoy having dotted lines drawn on you with a purple felt tip by a middle-aged European man? This is your moment to shine. 10 Years Younger, the most brutal make-over programme on TV, is looking for prematurely-aged hopefuls to star in the new series. Or, as they put it "lively new applicants"...

I love Dermot. I love that he's really good at his job without being annoying and at least seems to be a genuine guy. Towards the end of his time presenting Big Brother you really got the feeling he couldn't give a damn anymore; he became almost openly contemptuous of the housemates (if not the whole show) and the meltdown into dry, dry sarcasm was brilliant to watch. On the X Factor we see his soft side - who better than Dermie to give a shivering nervous hopeful a solid hug as they stumble out of the audition room? And when he actually started crying when talking to schoolteacher Bev on last year's show I thought he couldn't get any more appealing. I was wrong. He's pissed off The X Factor, apparently, by taking the piss out of all the tacky sob-stories about dead relatives...

The Spice Girls, Posh excluded, are old hands at reality telly. Mel B and Emma Bunton have both appeared on dancey shows in recent years, and Ginger was one of the original talent show panel judges of course. So you won't be falling off your chair in fright, phoning your lawyer and trying to sue TVScoop for fright-related head damage at the news that Emma Bunton has been hauled in to help out Dannii Minogue in this year's X Factor...

What do you mean, 'who's Ceri Rees'? Have you been paying attention to a word we've said?! Our very own John was talking about her just the other day. Ceri is the comeback sensation, the woman who can't be kept away from X Factor auditions, and who is indulged, year after year, by the show producers. She's had something of a makeover, though, presumably mistaking the main problem to be her image. Hasn't done her much good. So tell us, don't you think she now bears more than a passing resemblance to transvestite sculptor Grayson Perry?

I'm not keen on the term 'catfight', but you can bet it'll be appearing on every bit of news you see about GMTV presenters Fiona Phillips and Kate Garraway this week. Everyone's muttering about the two hating each other since Phillips spoke rather openly of her feelings, before quitting GMTV. The presenter attempted to put the record straight on Al Murray's chat show, last night...

Since Olly Reed shuffled off this mortal coil while bladdered in a bar in Cyprus, there has been very few to step into the yawning breach labelled, "Serially Drunk of Telly".  Rhys Ifans had a good go at it, but he's unlikely to turn up on whatever replaces Parkinson.

Watching this now you cannot help but laugh, but the lasting feeling is pity that such a talent was so often reduced to such a state so very publicly.

See the video after the jump.