I understand completely why some companies make annoying commercials for television. Ads that bug you stick in your head a lot longer than others, thereby, keeping the advertised product in your head longer. However, what about those that transcend annoyance and wander into plain ol' hatred?

Remember the Old Spice commercials? Man surfs in huge tube to Carmina Burana and... well... not much else. They were seen as brilliant adverts and became rather iconic. Now, Old Spice is back and they've only gone and made commercials that are even better than the old ones.

The BT commercials are depressing and awful. The only good thing you can say about them is that they're persistent. What kind of dribbling nincompoop sits down, watches this dithering shitfests and then gets back to BT to say how much they enjoy them... to keep up the good work? Are these people pining for a return of the Gold Blend ads? Am I inventing these people just to entertain my own bile duct?

OH MY GOD! The World Cup is nearly upon us! Of course, it'll play havoc with my trying to review TV shows - but I don't care! And this new Nike advert has whetted my appetite no end!

Iiiiiiitssalllyouhavetodo. Yep, the Shake 'n' Vac commercial is heading our way again, after the carpet talc (or whatever it is) got rehashed and rebranded (starring the original woman who did it, yadda yadda) and, well, left everyone cold. Now, it has a new face. Or should I say faces? Yep, the mind-curling Jedward are bouncing around and rapping and looking for all the world like they're permanently falling down a mine shaft to promote this junk.

It is ironic that I'm already walking on egg-shells about this topic (what with everyone's fave fry-up accompaniment being a chicken's period)... but here goes. Basically, for the first time in British televisual history, we'll be getting to see commercials about abortions. Yessir, a commercial will air to offer advice on abortion services and it will transmit next week.

Most adverts are shit. Even the ones that are good are still shit because they're trying to sell you stuff. The ones that really get me riled are the ones that try and move you emotionally and the biggest source of my continual anger is the pathetic, mealy-mouthed dribblings from Vodafone.

You may know Benicio del Toro as the award winning actor from such films as The Usual Suspects, Sin City, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Che. Well, he's nearly undone all that good work with one appearance in a Magnum Gold ice-cream commercial.

There's not many adverts in TV history that could be regarded as particularly funny or memorable. However, when there is, it tends to be those that focus on beer and fags. The Hamlet ads, the Guinness commercials and Carling Black label spots of the '80s are all fondly remembered. More recently, it was the Peter Kay fronted John Smiths adverts... and they're coming back.

KITT from Knight Rider is one of, if not THE most iconic cars in television history. Not the new one though - no-one remembers what that looks like. And so, it (he?) is about to appear appear on our screens once more. Sadly, KITT doesn't have a new sitcom coming out (that would be an 'odd-couple' house share of some kind, no doubt) but rather, it will star in a new commercial by Kwik Fit and we've got the video of it.

Go on. Say it. Tampon. See? Wasn't that bad was it? It's just an anagram of Top Man. Just a bunch of letters jumbled up. Yet, people get a bit eeehhhh about it. And so, over the jump is a funny little commercial for Kotex dealing with exactly those things. Tampons.

Romance in commercials should be banned. Banned or shot at. Then bricked. The whatever is left should be burned. Shoot the embers for good measure. Y'see, 'love', budding or otherwise, is the trickiest thing to pin down. Musicians have been trying to catch it in a jar and sell it for years. Mostly failing too.

Did you see that Citroen commercial featuring John Lennon and think "What the bloody hell's going on here then? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have wanted that!" Well, it seems that there's been a fair few of you who have been rather peeved about the whole thing, prompting Lennon's son, Sean, into defending the whole thing.

Adverts. They're horrible things. They try and sell you stuff when you were minding your own business. However, some are far more teeth grinding than others. Take, for example, the woeful WeBuyAnyCar.com TV commercial.

You know how Clearasil commercials go. Primary colours and a bubblegum soundtrack feature people grinning into a mirror with porcelain skin and given the confidence to go out and be themselves, right? Well, the admen have decided on a different tactic this time round, deciding that, the best way to sell spot cream is to turn young twinks into lecherous, grabby types in their chilling new commercial that sees a whippersnapper croaking "Hey Kim! Can I borrow your lipstick?"

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As oddities go, this one is a pretty good one. It seems that over in North Korea - a country which you generally only hear about on the news if they're testing missiles or 'waging war' against the Western World - they're getting in a lather about a new ad for lager. Over here of course this would be no big deal, but in a country like North Korea, where advertising, never mind TV advertising, is rare, this is really something to get excited about. If you're not planning a trip to Pyongyang any time soon however, you can see the ad on the BBC News website - and ti certainly makes for intriguing viewing. I've always had a soft spot for the sheer lunacy and energy of Japanese advertising, but this is something else entirely.

I hate animators. They're obsessed with making hair look realistic and buying enough Apple products to own an orchard. When they're not doing realistic hair, they're piddling about with their other obsession - making babies talk and dance. One of the most famous CGI creches was for Evian's last commercial which saw synchronised swimming from a bunch of sucklings. Now they're back and the babies are rollerskating, doing grinds and gripping to wire fences like dead-eyed murderers in a maximum security prison. Still, they wear nappies, showing that they haven't mastered their own bowels yet. Suckers. Anyway, to watch the new Evian commercial with all-action babies, click over the jump.

This weekend, for absolutely no reason at all, I started daydreaming about Victor Kiam. Kiam is one of a kind. He's just about the only American entrepreneur... scratch that... he was the ONLY entrepreneur I'd heard of for a huge chunk of my life. Businessmen, y'see, switch me right off. They talk in garbled tongues about things that make my brain sink. They look constantly crabby and like they weigh everything up in terms of value. However, Kiam was different. When he appeared in those iconic adverts for Remington and uttered those immortal lines... "I liked it so much, I bought the company!" and "...or your money back!", he seemed like a really cool, nice old guy. Where Barry Scott was a hired monkey, paid to shout Cilit Bang! as loudly as he could and Alan Sugar lurched creepily around that spot for Premium Bonds, Victor appeared in your set like he just happened to be passing. With that, I thought I'd do a little reading on him... and it turns out he was pretty unique!

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