Following the airing of How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?, Any Dream Will Do and I'd Do Anything, Over The Rainbow reunites host Graham Norton and Andrew Lloyd Webber, who, along with a brand new panel of experts (Sheila Hancock, Charlotte Church and John Partridge) and BBC One viewers, will choose a Dorothy to perform in the West End production of The Wizard Of Oz next year.

Cricket is to return to ITV for the first time in more than 30 years after they acquired rights to this year's Indian Premier League competition. That's exciting isn't it? This new deal will see ITV showing 59 of 60 live matches on ITV4 (and the season starts on 12 March and runs for 45 days).

Larry Lamb, former villain on Eastenders and the dad from Gavin and Stacey, has been accused of making 'no effort' when he took part in new BBC show Famous, Rich and Jobless. The forthcoming documentary challenges famous faces to deal with being out of work in a bid to raise awareness of what it is like to be unemployed in the UK.

ITV are determined to make a real star of Martin Clunes. I figure that they're trying to turn him into a national treasure. Quite why, I'm not entirely sure. How? Well, the next stage of Canonise Clunes is... well... something a bit strange. He's to host a new ITV1 documentary series on man's relationship with horses. I have a horrible feeling that it was just me who thought dark thoughts about it all...

Jade Goody has two lasting legacies. One is that she's kept desperately unfunny people in jokes. The second is that she's a lesson in human cruelty. The glee and scourn that greeted her untimely death was staggering. Regardless of whether she was a justifiable celebrity with anything to offer the world, is another debate altogether... but generally, I don't think the death of a young mother should be greeted with jeers.

Professional hunk, Steve Jones, is going to take on the Amazon. No, not the place where you order DVDs and junk... the mondo rainforest thing that TV has been overly obsessing about since Bruce Parry went native. Yessireebob, Sky1 have commissioned a show called Steve Jones and his Brothers: Great Amazon Adventure which sees the spunk jetting off with his actual siblings.

Heard of Iron Chef? If not, then you're in for a treat because it's one of the most ludicrous TV shows ever made. "A delectable Japanese tradition takes root on UK soil"... which means Channel 4 will show a programme that's somewhere between Ready Steady Cook and Gladiators.

BAFTA award-winning Anna Maxwell Martin (Freefall, White Girl, Bleak House) plays journalist and campaigner Heather Brooke, whose tenacious investigations brought about the disclosure of MPs' expenses, in one-off drama On Expenses for BBC Four. Brian Cox (The Bourne Supremacy, Troy) stars opposite Anna as Speaker of the House of Commons Michael Martin, who finds himself in a battle against Heather when she requests details of MPs' expenses and allowances under the Freedom of Information Act.

I've been continually sniping at religion on these pages for years. So, in an attempt to make friends with you Christians who aren't mental pro-lifers and condom-haters, here's an article that says Jesus Is Just Alright With Me.

Dragons' Den's Duncan Bannatyne and Peter Jones will be squaring up and donning their dancing shoes for the Strictly Come Dancing Sport Relief special. Again. In this Sport Relief special the tables are turned on these business bastards who are more used to kicking people's dreams to shreds than being judged themselves. Ditching their stuffy suits for sequins how will Duncan Bannatyne and Peter Jones, paired up with professional dancers Natalie Lowe and Lilia Kopylova, fare in front of judges; Bruno Tonioli, Craig Revel Horwood and Len Goodman?

Television can be a monumentally depressing prospect at times. You kid yourself into thinking that it's a place full of bright people with great ideas... and then Sky 1 announces that they're making a show called A League of Their Own.

Comedian, actor, Pimms vendor and television presenter Alexander Armstrong returns to BBC Two Daytime for a second run of the popular quiz show Pointless. And yes, it is pleasurable viewing and worth catching on iPlayer if you have a job.

BBC One has commissioned a new show called 101 Ways To Leave A Gameshow, which will air on Saturday evenings and will be hosted by hunk/irritating ironist Steve Jones. So what wacky adventures with the T4 man be getting up to then?

Following her acclaimed documentary series Lefties and Jews, film-maker Vanessa Engle's new three-part documentary, Women, comes soon to BBC Four. Coinciding with International Women's Day on Monday 8th March, Women will see Engle turn her attention to sexual politics, charting the rise of feminism and interrogating its impact on contemporary women's lives.

Space Dive (a working title currently), an exclusive BBC documentary, is set to follow Felix Baumgartner (Fnarr! That sounds like Bum Gardener!), elite BASE jumper, as he freefalls from space, shattering world records. Bloody hell! Jumping from space? Lunatic.

The story of our nation is to be told through its treasures on BBC One. David Dimbleby charts a landmark history of Britain's greatest art and artefacts over 2,000 years, in Seven Ages Of Britain. The seven-part series of 60-minute programmes (shot in swanky HD) kicks off at 9.00pm on Sunday 31st January. An arts commission in partnership with The Open University, Seven Ages Of Britain looks at our extraordinary past through the arts - both as treasures, that have often played a decisive part in events, and as marvels of their age.

Imagine the clawing horror as you, a young nubile woman, dances away at the club, only to see someone wearing the same outfit as you. Imagine further, that this woman has had the sheer bloody nerve to start chatting up the lad you had your eye on. Then, to compound your misery, she sticks her tongue down his throat and her waps fall out. Then, you realise it's your mum.

The BBC has today unveiled highlights of its Winter/Spring drama offering for 2010. Although surely winter is nearly over now? I never know when the seasons start and end... but never mind. Auntie says: The line-up will provide a huge range of styles and themes with something for all audiences to enjoy. It's definitely varied and looking really strong.