BINTM: Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model Episode 5 Review

What do you get when you put thirteen girls in one big house? Drama, drama, drama. Add a dash of competition and some well planned tensions causers and you get Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model.

We’re on the fifth episode of BINTM and it was finally time for the lucky 13 to go head to head against each other on the catwalk. Each week from now (apart from the planned twists we have already become so accustomed to) one girl will exit Elle’s model house as the competition progresses.

The house was as expected fully kitted out for the wannabe models, complete with a gold phone box for Elle’s important letters.

To get to know each other a bit better the producers of BINTM had kindly arranged a game of truth or… bitching. Each of the girls had to draw a question out from a bowl and answer it the best way they could. With questions like “Who looks least like a model?” and “Who will go out in the first elimination?” there were bound to be some tiffs. LOVE. IT.

Challenge 1: Catwalk among the treetops

Yes that’s right, the girls’ first task was to put massive heels on and venture up on Kew Gardens treetop walkway to strut their stuff in front of no other than ex-supermodel Janice Dickinson. Bless her Tanya was so scared of heights that she was shaking for most of the scene. Yet she somehow managed to ‘center’ herself enough to win the challenge! Was it all a trick…

Challenge 2: Tea Party with Lipton

Not sure if these girls have ever taken direction from someone before, but some were definitely more natural in front of the camera than others. All dressed up in colourful creations and wigs the girls each got their time to shine as Alice in Lipston’s Mad Hatter’s tea party. A mixed result to be fair we can already see who’s going to do well in this competition and who isn’t. But we’re not going to tell just yet!

The elimination process was the same procedure as every year, with Elle and her fellow judges assessing the girls on their finished shots. That said, the judges are all a lot more vocal about their thoughts and criticisms this year (which we kind of like). Joined by Sophie Ellis Bextor in a one-off appearance – she’s got a new album to promote, Kimberleigh immediately stood out as the worst of the bunch, with Charley Speed saying: “Kimberleigh was really clumsy on the shoot and took it a little bit too far. A bit pantomime.” Uh oh.

As three girl remained, Kimberleigh and Joanne pulled the shortest straws and were sent on their (not so) merry way home.

Next week:  MAKEOVER WEEK – we expect tears, tears, tears… and more tears.


Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model Episode 4 Review

I didn’t to a review for last week’s episode of Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model. There was one reason for it, and one reason alone. I simply didn’t find looking at yet another group of girls with model aspirations that interesting – all equally hopeful of being chosen by the judges panel, some more disillusioned about their ‘beauty’ than others. So I thought I wouldn’t put you guys through reading about it.

But we are back and this time there will be cuts! This is the semifinal.

This week the judges made all the girls who made it through the first hoop, step in front of the camera and put their looks to the test. It was time who of the hopefuls were photogenic and who were not? All dressed in short, short black dresses, they had to do group photo shoots. This meant really making an impact on the judges and stand out from the crowd. While some succeeded, others simply didn’t have a clue and it was quite funny to watch.

Trying to add some drama to the first round of eliminations, the judges called out twenty-two names as they stood there, high above the crowd of wannabe-models as to show their ‘power’.  The unlucky twenty-two were told to leave the room as soon as their names had been called and wait elsewhere for the goodbyes. Descending the staircase to deliver the bad news, Elle once again managed to show off her amazingly long legs (high heels also helped!), bbefore telling the girls that “unfortunately the girls left in the other room… had not made the cut.” Cue happy screams. Far too predictable I think.

Having culled the hopefuls down to a manageable size, it was time to see which of the remaining girls were possible model material.

Model Test 1 – Make-up and Hair: Slap on the war paint, style the hair and place two girls together in a small glass cabinet to model watches.

In my opinion Daniella and Danielle just looked awkward. Everything was just in the wrong place, no super models there… And with Joanne and Laurie  just looked, as the judges pointed out, like two girls on holiday together having found a photo booth.

Model Test 2 – Au Natural: No make-up, just a bikini and heels allowed… Every girl’s nightmare?!

Having ‘inspected’ the each of the girls, looking at all the wrinkles, natural flaws and dare we say it cellulite (surely not… not on models), the judges now had a choice to make. It was time to make twenty-two turn into twelve.

The episode culminated with Elle having a one-on-one with each girl to tell her the good or bad news. As expected there were tears of happiness and tears of sadness. And in an ‘interesting’ turn of events, Elle and the judges decided to bring thirteen girls instead of twelve to the final…

Unsurprisingly, Amy, the love child of Florence (of the Machine) and Noel Fielding make the cut – she certainly has the face of a model. As did these ladies. Must say that I’m getting totes bored with the ‘dramatic’ scenes that are getting far too predictable…

Did the judges make the right choices? Let us know in the comments below!





Britain and Ireland’s Next Top Model (BINTM) Episode 2 Review

Photo: Ian West/PA Wire/Press Association Images

We’re one week late into the action of the catwalk for this year’s hunt for Britain’s next top model, but not like we’ve missed much. This year Ireland has been invited to join in on the fun as well! Every Monday at 9pm on Sky Living we can follow the team of judges as they eliminate the girls one by one until the prettiest/oddest looking/most catty/friendliest (we’re not quite sure what makes a good model) girl is left standing alone on the runway to be crowned winner of Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model.

The judges are the same as last year and consist of Elle ‘The Body’ Macpherson, fashion designer Julien Macdonald, stylist Grace Woodward and model Charley Speed. New of this season, we’re having to sit through the auditions as the judges travel across Britain and Ireland in search of their next star. This actually makes for some really bad catwalk and ‘pulling on heartstrings’ moments, but becomes old soon… reeeeeally soon.

After watching Episode 2 of the show we can now tell you that BINTM is going to make you feel FAT, SHORT and OLD. But you already knew that didn’t you?

Best moment in this episode must be the lovely and oddly shy Charlotte who Julien found in Cardiff’s ‘Fantasy Lounge’, a venue that promises ‘the best erotic entertainment’ in Cardiff. She’s so shy that she’s never tried it out as a model before, yet she’s a lap dancer?! Errr…

If you’re wondering, Grace Woodward still has a pretty sharp tongue that can come across as rude – but we love her for her honesty! And what about Elle you say? She’s still gorgeous and her legs look longer than ever.

Next week the judges are off to Manchester and Dublin to hunt for more model material. We just have one request: Please can we just skip the auditions and get on with the competition.


TV Review and gallery: Britian’s Got Talent second semi finals

As the BGT semi finals continue, the acts seem to becoming more and more obscure.

With the exception of Boyband New Bounce, which were branded “the ones to beat” by Simon Cowell and got themselves the public vote to the final, the other contestants took a walk onto the weird side.

Firstly there was keyboard player Jean Martyn, who with her bright coloured coat and inane smile made us think she was ready for the looney bin more than the final, but that didn’t stop all four judges putting her through over magician act Karen and David.

Amanda even compared the excitable musician to an energy drink, calling her “a can of red bull”.

Meanwhile, Britney Spears impersonator Lorna Bliss was booted off the programme after causing controversy by making it through to the semi-final, despite getting buzzed by judges three times in auditions.

Frankly we’re not sure why she bothered come back. Yes she may have looked like the pop princess but that voice really needs some work. Then there was Up and Over it, the act that made dance with their hands. We wish we’d thought of an act like this for our five minutes of fame.

In fact their weirdness even beat the Circus of Horrors, a show with trapeze artists, bouncers and weird made up people.

We just want a bit of normality please.

Eurovision song contest review and gallery

So we sat down on Saturday night with our list of drinking games in preparation for the annual bizarre costumes, out of tune songs and downright weird people.

That’s right it was time for the Eurovision song contest. We’re not sure whether it was the shots giving us ear goggles but we have to admit as the night went on, the acts got better. Blue managed to sing in tune for at least the second part of the song, while Austria’s 19 year old sang like an angel – even if the song was a bit Disney. Germany’s Lena also put on a good act as well as Estonia.

Acts that made us cringe had to be Greece, sorry we didn’t get the whole rap and then sombre singing as well as Iceland, whose band members looked like Boyzone and Westlife’s obese children.

However, the biggest surprise of the night was not the fact that Jedward sang – if you can call it that – out of tune, or the moans of “political voting” by the UK, it was in fact that the winners of this addictive contest was Azerbaijan. Now that was worth drinking about.

TV Review and gallery: Britain’s Got Talent

Simon Cowell said that this years Britain’s Got Talent was “better than ever” and for once we’re inclined to agree. Over the past four weeks we’ve seen a number of amazing acts from dogs to very young children, which have blown away Amanda Holden and new judges David Hasslehoff and comedian Michael Mcintyre. However, if we have one criticism of the show so far, it’s that there’s none of those really bad acts. It could just be because there is far too much talent, or that producers are going through a new change. An example of this was clearly shown this week when we were just given an hour of pure talent. Kicking off the long list was gymnast Valerie whose flexible nature and of course er, talent had the Hoff all hot under the collar. The same could be said about girls, Girls Roc, whose skimpy outfits and and suggestive moves were almost too much for the Baywatch star. Then there was New Bounce, who proved that despite appearances they weren’t the new Jacksons after a terrible song. However, after being given a second song choice by Amanda the boys did well. Another surprise came in the form of Robert wh  looked all masculine but there was nothing laddish about his high feminine voice.

However, our top three of the night were clear. Artist Nathan’s artistic Marmite and toast picture of judge Micheal showed that you didn’t have to be a dancer or singer to have talent, while autistic school boy James moved the judges, and I, to tears with his stunning performance. Also making it into our top three was Michael.

Although not technically British – he was from France  and wasn’t too good with English – the dancer blew us away with his popping dance moves. By far my favourite of the night.

TV Review: Case Sensitive

Two parter Case Sensitive was tipped to be a cross between eerie ITV drama Marchlands and a detective programme so we had high hopes for the programme when it kicked off on Monday night. Unfortunately the first part wasn’t as disturbing, or jumpy as we were led to believe. Yes there were scenes of blood and gore, as well as the obligatory spooky child on a lone swing, but apart from that, it was more the complicated storyline that really grabbed us.

DS Charlie Zailer played by Olivia Williams is the “hero” of the programme, called in to investigate what looks originally to be the cut and dry suicide of a mother who killed her child beforehand. We meet the husband who seems to have a screw loose- but then again you probably wouldn’t be sane if your wife and child were dead – as well as DS Zailer’s sidekick who it seems she had a bit of a thing with the previous week – cue the uncomfortable sexual tension.

We’re at first met with the bodies but then it all gets a bit complicated when a hotel worker – Sally – hears the name of the husband on the tele and realises she had a one night stand with him. So what does she do? She trots off with a card to offer her condolences. When she gets to the house however, she realises he’s not the man she slept with.

While we would think that perhaps it’s a case of too many men with the same name, she spots a picture the guy she slept with also has, with us so far? After being asked to go to the police she scarpers, only to be drugged later on and find herself alone in a boarded up country house. In the meantime there’s shots of the funny and silent little girl who clearly has a secret to tell.

Yesterday’s episode was a little bit more eerie. Sally comes face to face with her one night stand who has captured her in the house for her own safety. He talks about kids and marriage – not what you’d really expect from a one night stand – but he’s hiding a secret.

Thankfully DS  Zailer is on the case tracking down a Spanish family, which were friends of the deceased and also friends of the eerie little girl.

The little girl also confesses to knowing a chilling secret about this Spanish family, which helps put two and two together and calls for the obligatory race to the old house where it turns out the killer has been haunted by the past tragedy of his 6-year-old daughter killing his wife by pushing an electric lamp into the bath then killing herself by reaching in to try and save her mother – the secret the eerie child was told was that the little girl was actually going to hurt her mother.

At the finale, as he holds a syringe to DS Zailer’s neck, he confesses that all he ever wanted was a loving family and gets arrested.

TV Review: V

We’re a nation that’s gone mad for sci-fi and mystery.

Fringe has replaced the X Files, while vampires have made appearances on nearly every channel. Therefore it’s no surprise that V has made it into its second series in the UK – those over in the US will have watched this already. So what is it about this alien show that makes us want to carry on watching? Well firstly there’s the fact that it was originally a very successful series back in the early 80s.

Although I’m too young to remember the original there are many others who watched this and have therefore turned to the modern series to compare. Then there’s the other fact that this programme doesn’t take itself too seriously. It has good effects, yet the storyline isn’t as complex as the one of Fringe, nor is it as simple as X Files. For those not familiar with the storyline, the world one day is visited by spaceships, which float above the skyline of major cities. However, unlike many alien invasion stories, there are currently no wars. The first few episodes of the first series show the visitors being embraced into the world thanks to their leaders – Anna’s – promise of sharing their technology and the building of health centres.

However, FBI agent Erica soon discovers that all is not what it seems. In fact the visitors are getting ready to invade and have been here for years. This is demonstrated by Ryan who is a V but turned against the clan and got together with his human wife who in the first series is currently pregnant, unknowingly with an alien baby. Erica, together with Father Jack and Ryan forms a group to begin to bring down the V’s, their first feat in the first series is killing Anna’s army eggs. Of course there are complications. Tyler, Erica’s son becomes obsessed with the visitors and falls for Anna’s daughter Lisa – who at first was made to make him do this, but now loves him. In order to protect him she moves to help Erica. The second series has pretty much started off in the same way. Lisa has developed full human feelings, Erica is fighting against the V’s and Ryan is being bribed by Anna who has his baby after killing his wife. The dialogue is simple and the plot even simpler, but what makes this watchable is the action scenes and the fact that it doesn’t take itself seriously. At points the acting isn’t Oscar worthy and at times the script is slightly predictable, but for those who like easy watching and aliens I say this is one programme to watch.

TV Review and gallery: Lily Allen Riches to Rags

Despite Lily Allen telling the world and its dog that her documentary was “rubbish” and advising them not to watch it, many of us have done the opposite.

And last night’s Riches To Rags, which follows Lily Allen as she tries to establish a vintage clothes shop with her sister, start a family with her boyfriend and of course, try to shake off all that ‘unwanted press attention’, ended on a very sad note.

Over the past few weeks we’ve watched as Lily takes offence to her sister taking over in the running of vintage store Lucy in Disguise, played with her dog and gone to various events.

We’ve also watched her suffer morning sickness and have to take time off because at the time of filming she was pregnant. Of course we’ve been watching the series in fear because we know what happens, and we really hoped the show’s producers dealt with it in the sympathetic way it deserved. And we were pleasantly surprised as when the scenes finally hit Lily was strong. In fact she and her sister sat and discussed the tragedy in depth.

Not only did this show Lily in a new light but also put paid to our views that Lily wasn’t just a one dimensional celebrity.

TV Review: Neil Morrissey: Care Home Kid

Neil Morrissey, Care Home Kid

TV is getting far more in depth and hard hitting as broadcasters finally realise that not all the nation is obsessed with reality singing, dancing and even dating shows.

One key example of bringing the two worlds together – that’s hard hitting plus a celeb – are the number of “insightful” programmes that are on looking at their lives, their pasts and their quest to overall be a better person – Who Do You Think You Are anyone?

Taking a similar stance from this is new documentary, Neil Morrissey:Care Home Kid, which aired on BBC2, which stars – well Neil Morrissey.

Behind his funny exterior, it turns out Neil had a very hard childhood. After the usual childhood ventures of stealing sweets and a few pence from people’s trousers in the sports club changing rooms the then 10 year old star and his brother were sent to children’s homes as a punishment. Neil was at Penkhull children’s home in Stoke-on-Trent until he was 17 and was lucky that the home was not the stereotypical children’s home but his brother who died a while back wasn’t so lucky. Neil however never found out if his brother suffered at the hands of staff here. Despite his personal issues and hatred however, Neil takes on the chance to find out if things are better for children in care homes today.

So he does what anyone in his shoes does and starts at his beginnings going back to his home, meeting people he lived with and picking up his old files.

He also speaks to social workers who made the decision to give him and his brother such tough and life changing sentences. A moving piece of television but one that shows how good can come out of such failure by the state.