Archive for the ‘Set the Vid’ Category

Next Week’s TV preview: A round up of the best and worst of what you should be paying attention to next weekyou do

Sunday, August 7th, 2011

MONDAY


BEST: Britain and Ireland’s Next Model, Living TV, 9pm

According to Ambassador of England, and definitely Australian person Elle McPherson, the new direction of the latest series of Britain & Ireland’s Next Top Model will be “Uniquely British, the sense of humour and the styling is very British… more hybrid backgrounds… and I think that is really examplatory (this isn’t a real word) of what’s going on in the UK today”.

Right. So, last week on BINM, a woman cried because she couldn’t go to a party, with the opening chords of Hometown Glory in the background. Another woman cried because a fellow model gave her some Swarovski crystals that perfectly complemented her tracksuit. Somebody else cried because they thought they looked a bit like a wet dog. And in a shock twist, Sophie Ellis Bextor revealed that she is the Official Representative for all Mothers with Cool Tattoos. Amazing. Tune in on Monday for the next instalment, and bring every shallow bone in your body.

WORST: Show me the Funny, ITV 9pm

Why are people still employing Jason Manford? For those of you who haven’t tuned in to the latest reality experiment from ITV then, well, nice one. ITV’s blind insistence on Cowellizing every single medium of entertainment has reached a hideous depth with this one, as 10 potential stand-up comics strive to win ten grand, their own stand-up DVD, and a nationwide tour.

One of the judges Alan Davies theorizes early on in the first episode that ‘You can’t become a stand-up comic overnight, you have to work at it.’ But apparently, you can in six weeks. The selection of comedians are barely as sharp as Ant and Dec’s joke writing team, and it really doesn’t help that the entire premise of the show is a terrible idea either.

ITV’s resilient desire to caress the mainstream of the viewing public is just one thing that stand-up comedy should not have to be catered for. 90s observational comics all iron their shirts now. Not that waving your arms in the air yelling ‘Do you know what I’m talking about’ after every single sentence isn’t worthy of winning ten grand, obviously. In essence, the show will melt your prefrontal cortex, and nobody will care once they do find the new Matt Cardle of stand-up comedy. It’s a Mcin-tyring process.  

TUESDAY

Best: Twenty Twelve, BBC2, 10pm

For anyone who didn’t catch this when it first came around on BBC4, this is a mockumentary focusing on the run-up to the London Olympics 2012 written by John Morton, now happily running on BBC2. The stronghold of comic talent including Jessica Hynes (neé Daisy from Spaced), Olivia Coleman and Hugh Bonneville is subtly clever, with accurate depictions of dismissive media types. It’s apparently been accused of ripping off an Australian mockumentary called The Games, but in all honesty, and sincerity – who gives a toss.

Worst: Murder She Wrote Marathon, Alibi 9am

So, it’s Tuesday afternoon, you’re having another a trialing day at work. Whatever line of work you do. That police report has gone missing. Henrietta, the sickest hen in the surgery has tragically gone into a coma. That gentleman did get food poisoning from that unruly McNugget after all. Let’s face it, the only face that you can bear to look in the face right now is the calm, creased folds of Angela Lansbury. Eleven times. Yes, that’s right. It’s the Murder She Wrote marathon on Alibi. That’s 9am down to 7pm, red-headed, crime solving mayhem for half of your entire day.

Today, on Murder She Wrote, an ACTUAL WITCH LITERALLY PUTS A CURSE ON A TOWN, A PRIMA BALLERINA IS ALSO CURSED, MORE WITCHES, SOME BUSINESS GUY GETS MURDERED, ANGELA LANSBURY GOES TO HOLLYWOOD, SUSPICIONS ARE ‘AROUSED’ and much, much more. This is literally a once in a lifetime opportunity. Although, if you miss it – you can catch it again on Alibi the day after. And the day after that. So remember, next time you’re having a hard time of it in the office, think of that poor TV controller dude down at Alibi HQ, all alone, brushing up webs.

WEDNESDAY

Best: There is literally nothing on.

On Wednesday, the floor is open. If you’re a football fan, then it’s England vs. The Netherlands on ITV1 in what may turn out to be a seemingly important match in regards to the World Cup which we of course always win. Alternatively, if you’re not in a boisterous, chest baring, salivating, sexually incapacitated kind of mood, you can always tune in to Dot from Eastenders looking through her family tree on BBC1′ s Who Do You Think You Are, which is guaranteed to be a mildly pleasant watch. Essentially, today is the day that you must step out and talk to three dimensional family members and friends. Either that, or Rocky’s on ITV4 at 10pm.

Worst: Chick Fix, Sky Living 8pm.

We’re not angry. Just disappointed. When the trailer first surfaced for Chick Fix, a new BONDING reality tv series, the trailer consisted of crying middle aged women talking to other crying women about how disgusted they were with their hollow lives. As you can imagine, it looked absolutely fantastic. On closer inspection, however, a spanner was thrown in the works when it turned out the show is in fact categorically very,very awful.

The programme consists of four women who all have a different ailment, which they helpfully hold up on felt tip pen splattered bits of cardboard at the start of the show (A show in which it’s main premise, is to NOT look like a failure and pathetic, remember.) These sort of foibles range from “My husband only trims his nasal hair on a bi-weekly basis” to “I’m fat because I ate too much cake” to “I’m a massive slag, and I can’t stop being a massive slag.”

The show then proceeds to lock these four misanthropes in a country cottage together, where they get together, giving each other makeovers, and having free food to take their minds off their incredibly pointless existences. In one segment, one particularly slutty old woman buried a Superman belt in a garden to cleanse her of her past of sleeping with teenagers. Absolutely no paraphrasing. Truth man, truth.

THURSDAY

Best: The Killing vs. Torchwood showdown, BBC1/Channel 4, 9pm

This really is a judgement call, but if you really want to give off the impression that you are an actual human being, you will not be watching Croc Man on Channel 5 tongiht. You will be watching either a gritty crime drama, or a gritty (okay, grey area) sci-fi drama tonight instead. The Killing is mid-way through it’s 13 episode run now, so if you haven’t seen it, then you are best watching the Danish original from the start instead. Nonetheless, this American remake is a strong counteract. If you’re following through with it, you don’t need us to tell you to watch it at this point. Same goes for Torchwood: Miracle Day, which has been enchanting Whovians (Oh, don’t hate us, we’re naïve) to much stronger capacities this series, and is giving the BBC a valuable use of their endless John Barrowman quota. Happy choosing.


Worst: Peter Andre, Here 2 Help, ITV2, 9pm

Well, you know what they say. If you can’t make a decision that everybody is happy with – choose neither. That little girl who had to choose between her own father and McCains oven chips had to find out the hard way. And now, so do you. Since their divorce, Peter Andre and Katie Price have been bleeding ITV2 dry in a number of embarrassing and ultimately discerning ways.

Katie Price has been airing her hired collection of men in brand new loved up incarnations of the same documentary, whereas Peter Andre has decided to HELP PEOPLE. For example, earlier on this year he launched a Literacy Project with Boris Johnson. Now, he’s bringing out the big guns with his own ITV2 series about how good damn helpful he is. In the press release, the premise appears to be:

“Members of the public can contact Peter and the production team with whatever they would like help with, whether it be a teenager who can’t get on the dating ladder or a single parent struggling to cope. “

So basically, if you want Peter Andre to have sex with you, he will. Actually, he probably will either way. It’s been a slow summer.

FRIDAY

Best: Practical Magic, ITV1, 10.35pm

Yes, you’re fucking right it is. Practical Magic is categorically and unequivocally the greatest film in the world. It really is the Citizen Kane of Sandra Bullock supernatural movies. Everyone says it. Roger Ebert has a poster of it on his bathroom door. Let’s face it. You COULD learn about how Hip Hop Changed the World on C4 which is being aired at the same time, but you won’t. Because you don’t care about what Jessie J feels about grime. You care about what Nicole Kidman is going to do about her troublesome boyfriend. Yeah y’are. Midnight Margheritas with Diane Wiest, anyone?

Worst: Paul McCartney and Wings: Band on the Run, ITV4, 9pm

With Dermot O Leary. Oh.

Preview: Torchwood, Miracle Day, BBC1, 9pm

Thursday, July 14th, 2011

New series. Death has become a thing of the past. Suddenly, for no apparent reason, people no longer die – despite getting sick and injured – leading to a population boom across the world.

As experts predict it will be only four months before the ageing human race will no longer be able to cope, CIA agent Rex Matheson investigates the phenomenon – and finds himself drawn into the world of a top-secret British institute known only as Torchwood.

John Barrowman and Eve Myles return for season four of the sci-fi thriller, with Mekhi Phifer (ER) and Bill Pullman (Independence Day).

BBC1, Thursday July 14th, 9pm .

You can see interview with John Barrowman about the making of the new series below:

And you can see a preview here:

Must Watch TV: Glastonbury 2011

Friday, June 24th, 2011

Haven’t been able to get tickets for this year’s Glastonbury? Or just don’t fancy all that mud? It’s not quite the same but you can always watch it on the box, courtesy of BBC – the corporation must have all of its staff there pretty much this year.

Coverage of the festival at Worthy Farm in Somerset includes U2 on the Pyramid Stage. Unbelievably it’s the first Glastonbury performance of the band’s career. Presented by Jo Whiley, Lauren Laverne, Zane Lowe and Mark Radcliffe. Coverage continues on BBC4.

You can see pictures of people wallowing in the mud at this year’s Glasto below.

Fri 24 Jun, BBC2, 9.45pm

 

Glastonbury 2011

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Pictures: Ben Birchall/PA Wire


Must watch: Lead Balloon, BBC 2, June 7th, 10pm

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

There have been very few decent British sitcoms on TV recently. Not Going Out featuring Lee Mack and Tim Vine is one (the fifth series due to air later this year is currently being written). Lead Balloon, written by Jack Dee and Peter Sinclair, is another.

Now in its fourth series, the show revolves around the character of Rick Spleen, a misanthropic comedian, not unlike the Jack Dee we are used to from stand-up performances. Once a kind of ‘household name’ thanks to appearances on TV, fame-obsessed Rick has since faced a series of career set backs and now scrapes by doing comedy turns at business awards ceremonies as his wife becomes increasingly successful running her talent agency.

In last week’s slightly cringing, but nevertheless funny, episode (the first of the new series), Rick was seen wrestling a pig which he bought to make himself seem more interesting to a Times journalist who had come to the house to interview his wife. Not as if Rick could accept the fact that she wasn’t at all interested in his career or the novel he was trying to write.

In tonight’s episode, Dead, he becomes the latest presenter on The Bargain Channel, a job that finally meets approval from his cleaner Magda, who is one of the station’s biggest fans. But his latest attempt at achieving fame fails to impress Marty or Michael. Meanwhile, Sam and her boyfriend Ben claim to be looking for gainful employment – despite never actually leaving the sofa.

Coronation Street spoiler: Fiz is arrested. Monday 6 June, 7.30/8.30pm

Monday, June 6th, 2011

7.30pm: The police inform Fiz they are going to exhume Joy Fishwick’s body and investigate her death now they know someone claimed Colin’s inheritance. Tracy is quick to comfort Steve as he clears up the trail of destruction left by Becky, while aunts Upma and Grishma return to haunt Sunita. Graeme battles with his emotions when Xin prepares to leave the Street.
8.30pm: Fiz confesses everything she knows as she is quizzed by the police, and takes them to the spot where John dumped Colin’s body. Steve faces an ultimatum when he begs Becky for forgiveness, while Dev and Sunita struggle to keep up their facade in front of the aunts. Elsewhere, Lloyd and Cheryl set up home together.

Fiz is arrested

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Fiz goes from victim to suspect. The police return revealing they’ve decided to exhume Joy Fishwick and investigate her death now they know someone claimed her inheritance. Chesney Battersby-Brown is aghast when Fiz is arrested.

The Eurovision song contest 2011: What to expect

Friday, May 13th, 2011

Get ready for crazy outfits, camp songs and sobs of “we were robbed”. Add in a drinking game or two for whenever you hear England getting “nil points” and you’ve pretty much set the tone for tomorrow’s Eurovision song contest.

We still miss Terry Wogan, who was famed for his sarcy little comments when certain countries predictably gave others the top marks – most notably Cyprus to Greece and Greece to Cyprus – and that political dig when the UK got nothing, but we’re happy enough to settle for old Graham Norton.

However, what else can we expect from tomorrow’s Eurovision? As much as we’d like to, we can’t ignore the fact that the Grimes twins better known as Jedward, will be singing for Ireland, but what many of you won’t know is that they are due to sing sixth in the Eurovision line-up. This means that if you’re switching on to see them, you’ll have to watch from around 8:30. You’ll also have to set your V or Sky Plus boxes so you don’t miss the good old Britain’s Got Talent on ITV.

Of course we’ll be sending out revamped boyband Blue to fight for our UK corner. The reformed band will join acts from Estonia, Romania, Moldova, Ireland, Bosnia, Denmark, Austria, Ukraine, Slovenia and Sweden all of which will get higher results than us in the televoting part of the show.

Also worth taking notice of is last year’s winner Lena who once again fights for Germany with the song “Taken by a Stranger”. We’ve got our shot glasses ready for everytime we see a bad act, meaning we probably won’t remember anything past Jedward.

Catch the contest tomorrow from 8pm on BBC One.

 

Don’t miss! Eurovision Song Contest 2011 semi-finals, starring Jedward!

Thursday, May 12th, 2011

Those lovable Jedward boys are representing Ireland in Eurovision. Let's hope they are in tune.

Settle down for a bit of kitsch entertainment as Sara Cox and Scott Mills present the second semi-final of the Eurovision Song Contest from the Esprit Arena in Dusseldorf, Germany.

Former X-Factor hopefuls Jedward will be flying the flag for Ireland, while 1998 winner Dana International will once again represent Israel – but they could both be upstaged by Estonia’s Getter Jaani, who many experts have tipped as a potential winner of this year’s competition.

Danish rock outfit A Friend in London and Swedish pin-up Eric Saade are also among the favourites to qualify for Saturday’s final, as is Bosnian singer Dino Merlin – a man whose many achievements include writing the lyrics for his country’s former national anthem. UK representatives Blue will offer their thoughts on the competition so far, and there will also be interviews with some of the acts that qualified from Tuesday’s semi-final. UK viewers cannot vote in tonight’s semi-final.

Eurovision Song Contest Semi Finals, May 12, BBC3, 8pm

What to watch this weekend

Friday, January 7th, 2011

It’s almost time to get that takeaway menu and beer out and celebrate the weekend. Therefore I’ve put together a pick of all the best TV out there, after all in January staying in is the new going out.

Friday
BBC One 9pm Hustle
It may a bit “out there” but Hustle is a fun watch. It features a bunch of con artists enjoying a life of big-money scams in a glamorous, high-rolling version of London.

Saturday
BBC One 6:30 Wipeout
Everyone loves to see some sporting (I use the word loosely) mishaps and this fitness show filmed in Argentina – we assume safety laws didn’t permit it over here – is a great way to kick start that couch potato night.

BBC One 7pm The Magicians
Comedian Lenny Henry presents the magic contest in which sleight of hand artist Chris Korn is joined by Total Wipeout presenter Amanda Byram, master illusionist Luis de Matos teams up with Dragons’ Den entrepreneur Peter Jones, and conjurors Barry and Stuart pair up with comedy actor and musician Ade Edmondson in a battle in front of a studio audience to prove who is the best act.

BBC One 9pm Come Fly With Me.
You can’t miss Matt Lucas and David Walliam’s series which mocks the airport reality shows. Hilarious sketches that’ll cheer you up no end.

BBC 2 8pm Shooting the Hollywood Stars

If you want to get arty then flick over to BBC2 where fashion and celebrity photographer Rankin re-creates well-known images of film stars and explores the history of his profession in Hollywood. It’s a great watch for photo fanatics out there.

ITV 6:30 TV Burp
Harry Enfield’s TV burp may have gone down hill but die hard fans won’t stop watching. This one is for those out there.

ITV 8pm Take me out
The show goes like this: Women line up to find man, man comes out, women turn off lights if they don’t like him and then again after they’ve found out a bit more. Those with lights on are then judged by man who turns off the lights of those he doesn’t like. Picks a date and they go away together. Like a modern day Blind Date, without the er, blind spot.

Sunday
BBC 2 9pm Arctic with Bruce Parry
Bruce Parry this week goes to Greenland and one of its last remaining hunting communities. Bruce wants to know how the melting icecaps are affecting Inuit people. Later, he heads south to investigate the country’s burgeoning mining industry where the melting ice has revealed metal-rich rock.

ITV 6:30pm Dancing on Ice
And it’s back. C list celebs team up with professional skaters to compete for a prize. This year Kerry Katona features on the show.

What To Watch This Weekend: The X Factor, Celebrity Come Dine With Me

Friday, December 10th, 2010

Snow – there to make your free time awkward, eh? We’ve all been slipping on our arses in this stupid snow and watching the tips of our fingers blacken thanks to frostbite. Honestly, it’s like being sat in that camp up Mount Everest where all those cadavers are piled up. But, at least we’ve got televisions to watch and biscuits to dunk in our brews. We can’t help with the latter, but the former, certainly! Let us see what the listings have to offer. (more…)

What To Watch This Weekend: Modern Family, Slumdog Millionaire

Friday, December 3rd, 2010

The weekend is almost here and with half the country snowed in, its the perfect weather to stay curled up in front of the TV with some mulled wine and maybe a minced pie or two. So keep warm and get ready to veg out in front of the television with our top picks on what to watch this weekend.

Tonight:  Modern Family, Sky 2, 8pm
If you haven’t seen Modern Family yet, frankly you’re missing out. The American mockumentary style comedy, follows the families of Jay Pritchett, his daughter Claire Dunphy, and his son Mitchell Pritchett who live in a Los Angeles-area suburban community. Claire is a homemaker, who has three children with her husband Phil Dunphy.  Jay, after splitting with his longtime wife, has re-married with a much younger Colombian woman, Gloria, and is helping her raise her pre-teen son, Manny, and Mitchell lives with his partner Cameron and together they have adopted a Vietnamese baby, Lily. This week the families prepare to woo their significant others on Valentine’s Day.

Tonight: Primeval, BBC 1, 11:30pm
Looking for something to watch when you get in from the pub tonight? Check out the TV premier of Primeval. The movie tells the story of two American reporters and a cameraman who travel to Africa in search of a near-mythical giant crocodile that has savaged hundreds to death. However, they not only have a battle surviving the man-eating predator, but also end up in the throes of a long-standing civil war where a local warlord does not take kindly to intruders on his territory.

Tomorrow: Life, BBC 4, 7pm
The latest documentary series narrated by David Attenborough is definitely not one to miss. This episode will focus on plants and will look at the strategies adopted by plants that allow them to grow in every possible environment.  Featuring the dragon’s blood tree, which survives in the desert by converting moisture found in the mist and shading its own roots, the carnivorous Venus flytrap that has evolved into an extraordinary predator able to digest insects, and the cat’s claw creeper, which uses other plants as a ladder to reach sunlight.

Tomorrow: Slumdog Millionaire, Channel 4, 9:25pm
Catch Danny Boyle’s Oscar-winning drama about an uneducated teenager from the Mumbai slums is only one question away from winning India’s Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Definitely one to watch if you haven’t already seen it.

Sunday: Fred Clause, Channel 4, 5:25pm

Feeling festive then check out Fred Clause. This movie tells the story of Santa’s selfish brother Fred who was ostracized by the family for years, until his crooked ways land him in jail, and his brother comes along to bail him out, but on one condition – he must return to the family business and help make toys for Christmas.

Sunday: Apollo 13, ITV 2, 5:15pm

Escape with the fact-based drama about the ill-fated 1970 Apollo 13 mission to the moon. Crew leader Jim Lovell is faced with a nightmare when the routine mission suffers an on-board explosion – leaving the team stranded in space with a dwindling oxygen supply while flight controllers and engineers in Houston try to find a way to bring the crew safely back to Earth.

What To Watch This Weekend

Sunday, November 28th, 2010

Brrrr. It’s got really cold all of a sudden hasn’t it? I think it is time to concede that outside is no place for us humans. The animals are all burrowing away and waking up when it’s warmer. Of course, we don’t have to go to sleep for months on end (we’d get fired from our jobs, eh?). No – we can bed down in front of the television set and slowly pickle ourselves on mulled win and hot boozy drinks with rum and brandy in. And so, what’s on TV this weekend? Lets look shall we?

Tonight: Peep Show, Channel 4, 10pm

The newest series of Peep Show kicks off tonight (the seventh would you believe? That’s a lifetime in TV terms) and of course, it’s going to be one to watch through the fingers. Mark (David Mitchell) and Jeremy (Robert Webb) are still sharing a flat and mixing up bon homie with cruelty and toe-curling situations. And all we have to do is laugh at them. The new series finds them at a hospital, awaiting the birth of Mark’s baby with Sophie (Olivia Colman)… it can’t go smoothly.

Tonight: Robert’s Web, Channel 4, 10.30pm

Robert Webb hosts a comedy show offering a skewed glance at the week’s online news and events. Basically, this is Rude Tube without that irritating gitbox Alex Zane. Of course, there is an alternative to programmes like this and it is called The Internet. Mainly pointless, but Webb is a nice enough chap to watch.

Tomorrow: Live FA Cup Football, ITV1, 12:35pm

The magic of the FA Cup definitely lies in the early rounds. The final has lost its sheen of late, with some very dull matches played out indeed. However, tomorrow, we get to watch AFC Wimbledon v Stevenage FC, which could be really great. Sadly, Stevenage denied us the chance to see AFC Wimbledon take on MK Dons (now THAT would’ve been a great match). Muddy pitches and lunging tackles. No Premier League wimpishness here. Presented by Adrian Chiles and there’s more live football on Sunday.

Tomorrow: The X Factor, ITV1, 7:45pm

The final is a mere fortnight away now and, unbelievably, Wagner is still around complete with stories of doing karate chops on people’s heads or whatever it is he’s supposed to have done this week. Alongside the baffling Brazilian, we still have Matt, Cher, Rebecca, Katie, One Direction and Mary all singing it out against each other. Dermot O’Leary is, as ever, on hand to oversee the whole thing with Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, Dannii Minogue and Louis Walsh. Justin Bieber appears on the Sunday results show.

Sunday: Live International Rugby Union, BBC Two, 2:15pm

More live sports as Ireland take on Argentina (kick-off 2.30pm) in a bit of ruggerball. John Inverdale shows off his vague mullet and hosts from the Aviva Stadium. Ireland are much better at rugby than Argentina, so they should romp home… however… you never know do you?

Sunday: Donald Trump: All-American Billionaire, BBC Two, 9pm

He’s got a funny surname and has so much money that he could probably buy Ireland right now and rename it Trumpton. And here, we get to meet the magnate with the weirdest haircut in human history as he builds a new golf near Aberdeen in Scotland. It’s bloody windy up there. He’d better wear a hat or his hair will look really, really daft. Obviously, we’ll get to look back at his colourful life too.

What To Watch This Weekend: The X Factor, The Cube: Celebrity Special

Friday, November 19th, 2010

The weekend is upon us and, if you’ve been subjected to all manner of wacky nonsense because of Children In Need in the office, then you’ll be thrilled to be able to get away from it all and put your feet up at home where there is no-one haranguing you to give money to charity. Oh… wait a minute… (more…)

What To Watch This Weekend: I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, First Life

Friday, November 12th, 2010

The weekend is just hours away and with gale force winds and rainy weather, it is a perfect one to veg out in front of the television. So grab a hot chocolate and get ready to spend the weekend on the sofa.

Tonight: David Attenborough’s First Life, BBC 2, 9:10pm
The two-part documentary concludes tonight, with our favourite naturalist traveling to Burgess Shale in Canada’s Rocky Mountains, to explores how evolution gained pace once creatures developed mouths and mobility.

Tonight: Interview With The Vampire, BBC1, 11:35pm
This is the perfect movie to watch when you get in from the pub tonight, starting Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Kirsten Dunst, Antonio Banderas and Christian Slater. The film follows the story of a man who claims to be 200 years old as he tells a reporter the story of how he was bitten during an encounter with a decadent and charismatic vampire in 18th-century New Orleans.

Tomorrow: X-Factor, ITV1, 8pm
It wouldn’t be the weekend without a little X-Factor, and this week the competition is steaming up as the final nine take on songs by Elton John.

Tomorrow: Clockwork Orange, ITV4, 10:30pm
If your having a quiet Saturday in, make sure to tune into the ‘71 cult classic . The film is about a sadistic young gang leader Alex as he leads a carefree life indulging his love of violence and classical music, until he is finally arrested and subjected to a sinister form of aversion therapy.

Sunday: 10,000 BC, Five, 9pm
10,000 is the prehistoric tale of a young mammoth hunter who combats a host of giant ferocious creatures as he journeys across the wilderness to rescue his captive lover and her fellow villagers from the sway of brutal slave raiders.

Sunday: I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, ITV2, 10:30pm
It’s back! The new series of the Z-List celeb survival challenge gets under way in the Australian jungle. Celebs this season include actress Britt Ekland, TV nutritionist Gillian McKeith, model Kayla Collins, former Olympic athlete Linford Christie, actor Nigel Havers, singer Shaun Ryder, former MP Lembit Opik, as well as 2009 X Factor finalist Stacey Solomon, rapper Aggro Santos and former Wag Sheryl Gascoigne.

What To Watch This Weekend: The Event, Stephen K Amos

Friday, October 29th, 2010

Hello weekend! How lovely to see you! Wait a minute! What? Children will knock at our door and demand stuff that we might want to eat ourselves? Sod that. Don’t they know there’s a recession on? We need our chocolate bars and bags of crisps to stave off the impending doom! And of course, to veg in front of the television all weekend. (more…)

What To Watch This Weekend: The X Factor, Norman Wisdom, Downton Abbey

Friday, October 15th, 2010

Ah! The weekend is upon us once more! Doesn’t that feel great? No more working for a day or two, unless of course, you work weekends and you really hate it when people go on about it as it reminds you of how unfair life is. Yeah. (more…)

Set The Video: Nigella Kitchen, BBC Two, Thursday, 30 September, 8pm

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

Oh hello Nigella Lawson! I see you’re back in your Nigella Kitchen (BBC Two, Thursday, 30 September, 8pm) with a brand new series! Excellent! This is good news why? Well, I haven’t had someone to truly hate for a while, and your return is well timed because I’m brimming with bile. (more…)

Set The Video: Alan Davies’ Teenage Revolution, Channel 4, Thursday, 9 September, 9pm

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

alan-davies--.jpgTeenage rebellion! WAHOO! Let’s smash stuff! Beat up cops! Mither the system! YEEAAH! That’s what the ’80s was like. And here, to be our own Arthur Scargill is a man who once bit a tramp on the ear and played a magic man who lived in a windwill – Alan Davies’ Teenage Revolution (Channel 4, Thursday, 9 September, 9pm)

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Set The Video: Derren Brown – Hero at 30,000 Feet, Channel 4, Wednesday, 8 September, 10pm

Monday, September 6th, 2010

derren.jpgDerren Brown: Hero at 30,000 Feet (Channel 4, Wednesday, 8 September, 10pm) is all well and good, but really, we’re waiting for a show called Derren Brown Is A Warlock! Burn Him With Fire At The Stake! That said, we rather like him. He’s a charming swine isn’t he?

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Set The Video: Alex Higgins – The People’s Champion, BBC Two, Wednesday, 1 September, 9pm

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

higgins.jpgTo be crushingly blunt, there’s pretty much no snooker player ever who is worth watching a documentary about, unless you’re a fan of the sport. However, Alex Higgins: The People’s Champion (BBC Two, Wednesday, 1 September, 9pm) should buck the trend.

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Set The Video: E Numbers: An Edible Adventure, BBC Two, Thursday, 26 August, 8pm

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

sweets.jpgE numbers. The food equivalent of heroin or something. They make children go mental and adults salivate. And so, here we have a show dedicated to them called E Numbers: An Edible Adventure (BBC Two, Thursday, 26 August, 8pm).

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