I had a go at comedies last week so today I thought I’d turn the rantoscope to television drama. When I say the clue is in the title, I mean it’s called drama. Which kind of suggests to me that it should be, you know, dramatic. Everyone has drama in their lives at one time or another. Everyone has a tale to tell. But watching TV dramas you’d think only “the professions” lead a dramatic life. People in the forces (uniformed, detectives, Special Branch, army, MI5), medics, lawyers and teachers.

I’m sure this is why Hustle is so popular – a really fresh take on drama with something new to say. So where are all the shows about the fear and angst suffered by plumbers, architects, computer experts, lumberjacks, market gardeners and the like?

A little late with my moan this week, but it’s still Monday (just) so here we go. I don’t mean “The Comedians” as in the stand-up show we used to be subjected to of a Sunday tea-time. I know there are some who claim that dear old Bernard here is the most successful comedian of his day but I ain’t one of ‘em. No, racist clap-trap and well-worn bollocks about the mother-in-law (which is rich coming from the never-married Manning) isn’t my idea of comedy. But even as my memory fades and I hobble towards pipe-and-slippers country, I can still remember a time when comedians actually made me laugh.

Now, even the old names can’t be counted on to raise more than an eyebrow of discontent or perhaps the odd unwilling chortle. Where are those genii of the wicked put-down that used to have me rolling on the floor gasping for breath?

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Was there ever a “golden age” of television? Or did we get the television we deserved through the years, like a mirror held up to the social mores of the time, reflecting back at us the reality of the lives we live and, market-driven, serving up the entertainment we crave rather than leading us through the example of better art, more thought-provoking drama and more insightful documentaries to a better place?

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The clue is in the title in this week’s Monday Moan and I’m afraid it’s EastEnders I’m moaning about again. Not only are half of their stories totally half-cocked at the moment, but now they’re rehashing the old chestnut about a hidden hash farm – in Gus’s flat. Sorry, but we had this in Corrie months ago. Can’t you come up with something more original? How about a story where a young market trader goes away on holiday for a couple of weeks and comes back with a new set of boobs?

Here’s a conundrum for you: should TV drama use correct grammar, or should it reflect common usage even if it’s incorrect?

As a wordsmith and long-time lover of the English language I’m very firmly in the first camp, and not just for the obvious reasons. Bad grammar in drama is, to me, the mental equivalent of tripping over a tree root on a footpath. It jars me out of my suspension of disbelief, out of the flow of plot and characterisation and into an alternate universe of intellectual analysis that has nothing whatever to do with what I’m watching.

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