Archive for the ‘Monday Moan’ Category

The Monday Moan: Big Brother is back

Monday, June 4th, 2007

bblogo.jpgSo it’s back then. You can hardly miss it can you? On here, in the press and especially in the online media, where fully 75% of the new headlines are about Big Brother. And what fascinating headlines they are. “Shabnam has her first shower.” Wow. Hold the front page guys, there’s a girl having a shower. Crikey. That’s a first, eh? The banality of it all doesn’t need to be emphasised. It shouts at you from every headline, and as far as I can tell from the viewpoint of someone who only has a passing third-hand acquaintance with the show, from every minute of coverage.

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The Monday Moan: Drama – the clue is in the title

Monday, May 21st, 2007

scream.jpgI had a go at comedies last week so today I thought I’d turn the rantoscope to television drama. When I say the clue is in the title, I mean it’s called drama. Which kind of suggests to me that it should be, you know, dramatic. Everyone has drama in their lives at one time or another. Everyone has a tale to tell. But watching TV dramas you’d think only “the professions” lead a dramatic life. People in the forces (uniformed, detectives, Special Branch, army, MI5), medics, lawyers and teachers.

I’m sure this is why Hustle is so popular – a really fresh take on drama with something new to say. So where are all the shows about the fear and angst suffered by plumbers, architects, computer experts, lumberjacks, market gardeners and the like?

The Monday Moan: Where have all the comedians gone?

Monday, May 14th, 2007

manning.jpgA little late with my moan this week, but it’s still Monday (just) so here we go. I don’t mean “The Comedians” as in the stand-up show we used to be subjected to of a Sunday tea-time. I know there are some who claim that dear old Bernard here is the most successful comedian of his day but I ain’t one of ‘em. No, racist clap-trap and well-worn bollocks about the mother-in-law (which is rich coming from the never-married Manning) isn’t my idea of comedy. But even as my memory fades and I hobble towards pipe-and-slippers country, I can still remember a time when comedians actually made me laugh.

Now, even the old names can’t be counted on to raise more than an eyebrow of discontent or perhaps the odd unwilling chortle. Where are those genii of the wicked put-down that used to have me rolling on the floor gasping for breath?

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The Monday Moan: Idiot’s Lantern

Monday, May 7th, 2007

television.jpgWas there ever a “golden age” of television? Or did we get the television we deserved through the years, like a mirror held up to the social mores of the time, reflecting back at us the reality of the lives we live and, market-driven, serving up the entertainment we crave rather than leading us through the example of better art, more thought-provoking drama and more insightful documentaries to a better place?

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The Monday Moan: Rehashed storylines

Monday, April 30th, 2007

Cannabis_plant
The clue is in the title in this week’s Monday Moan and I’m afraid it’s EastEnders I’m moaning about again. Not only are half of their stories totally half-cocked at the moment, but now they’re rehashing the old chestnut about a hidden hash farm – in Gus’s flat. Sorry, but we had this in Corrie months ago. Can’t you come up with something more original? How about a story where a young market trader goes away on holiday for a couple of weeks and comes back with a new set of boobs?

The Monday Moan: Obvious plot devices

Monday, April 16th, 2007

Eastenders_catOn Monday last week, in EastEnders, the Slaters developed a cat. I deliberately phrase it like that because, like developing a cold, they didn’t have one before. They’ve never had one. There’s been no mention of a cat, no cat food in the cupboards or on the shelves or the kitchen table, no litter tray and no food bowls, either on the floor or in the washing up.

There’s been no visits to the vet, no flea treatments, no cat curled up on any of the sofas in the lounge or any of the beds, and no-one ever seen cuddling or stroking it. Yet here it was, as large as life, running through the kitchen.

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The Monday Moan: Mind your grammar!

Monday, April 9th, 2007

GrammarHere’s a conundrum for you: should TV drama use correct grammar, or should it reflect common usage even if it’s incorrect?

As a wordsmith and long-time lover of the English language I’m very firmly in the first camp, and not just for the obvious reasons. Bad grammar in drama is, to me, the mental equivalent of tripping over a tree root on a footpath. It jars me out of my suspension of disbelief, out of the flow of plot and characterisation and into an alternate universe of intellectual analysis that has nothing whatever to do with what I’m watching.

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The Monday Moan: Trailing trailers

Monday, March 26th, 2007

ComplainHave you noticed recently how commercial TV companies have got wise to you fast-forwarding through the ad break? They always used to position their short program previews right at the back end of the break, so if you were winding through and you saw a trailer, you knew you had to get that finger poised over the Play button.

Over the last few weeks they’ve sneakily moved the trailers to the middle of the ad break. Trailer finishes, press Play, catch the first few seconds of another commercial. Huh? What’s that doing there? It’s taken a while for me to reset my reality and carry on speeding through the later ads. So their ploy hasn’t worked and it’s harder to know when to stop. What next? Diving straight into the program again without a civilised title card I suppose! We might as well go and live in America.

The Monday Moan: The slow demise of Horizon

Monday, March 19th, 2007

Horizon_logoWhy is television in general, and the BBC in particular, so hopeless at science? In my youth programs like Horizon, and occasionally Chronicle, provided intelligent, incisive, educational insights into the world of science. The programs were informative without being inaccessible but also managed to be entertaining without being infantile.

The latest series of Horizon, which is still going under that title despite being unrecognisable as the show it once was, kicks off with "My Pet Dinosaur" and previous series have dished up dross like the much reviled "Human 2.0" that waste 50 minutes on tricksy camera angles, CGI sequences repeated ad nauseam and a voiceover by someone with as much scientific credibility as "Doctor" Gillian McKeith. What happened?

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