It’s that time again. A smatterin of C list celebrities don khaki and spend a couple of weeks sweating, rowing, starving, sulking and eating animal testicles. I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here is back. Ace.
The show starts on Sunday at 9PM on ITV1 but today the line-up was officially announced and the runners and riders revealed to a faintly interested public.
Here’s our guide to who’s who, who isn’t who and who isn’t who you thought they were.
I'm a Celebrity: Helen Flanagan
Taking a relaxing shower in the jungle. Don't worry Helen no one's looking.
See Helen Flanagan in the Jungle Shower above! ALL PICTURES: ITV.com
Helen is probably best known for playing Coronation Street ‘model’ and flibbertigibbet Rosie Webster. She left the show earlier this year and since then has concentrated on his new career of posting pictures of herself in skimpy clothing on Twitter.
Expect to see Helen in a bikini with seconds of the show starting and shots of her checking her reflection in any available mirrored surface.
You can see her in the jungle shower in the gallery below!
David used to be a WBA world boxing champion but since retiring has concentrated on his first love – worm charming. David spends up to 14 hours per day wandering around his garden using various implements to mimic the sound of rain on the ground, this tempts the worms to the surface and David then collects them. ‘I don’t do anything with them’, David told us ‘I just find the activity relaxing. Normally I just take the worms round to Ricky Hatton’s house and release them in his raised vegetable beds. It drives him crackers.’
Former Doctor Who Colin has found it very difficult to let go of the role that made him famous. Though hasn’t played the Doctor since 1986 he still wears the costume every day and insists on calling his bathroom ‘The Tardis’. He also has a sonic screwdriver (which is actually a normal Philips that he’s painted silver) and a cat called K-9. This used to be a dog but he had to give it away when he found he was allergic to it.
Brian Conley started began his comedy career while still welder in the shipyards of Glasgow. He used to play banjo and sing in folk clubs and found that his between song banter was lasting longer than the songs so he started getting gigs as a comic. After he appeared on the Parkinson chat show in 1975 he became a household star and swiftly rose to become on of the best loved comedians in the UK. He married Pamela Anderson, stopped drinking and found fame in the US before returning to the UK to play Buttons in Cinderella every year since 1993. No, wait, we’re getting confused here.
Darts legend Eric Bristow is also known as ‘The Craft-obsessed Cockney’ as he dedicates his spare time to various undemanding handiwork pastimes. He makes model planes, enjoys decoupage and is renowned for his quilling. In 2002 he was given a lifetime membership of Hobbycraft’s loyalty scheme and celebrated by learning to crochet. He now makes all his own clothes.
No idea who this bloke is.
Better known as ‘Janine off of Eastenders’ Charlie is hoping that her experience in the jungle will open up new career paths. ‘I really want to be a snake wrangler’, she says ‘I hope that I will get to handle a few while in Oz and learn more about them. I tried to get the producers of Eastenders to write a snake into the soap but they wouldn’t have it. I wanted Janine to carry a snake round her neck everywhere she went, like as a character trait, but they said it would prove “logistically difficult” and kiboshed the idea. Good job really cos I’m terrified of them. Slimy little buggers.’
It seems Linda Robson was booked by the I’m A Celeb production team in error. ‘We thought we were getting the dark haired one who played Dorian’, an insider told us ‘but I guess we’ll have to make do. Shame really, Dorian would have been funnier but there you go, she’s here now.’
The inclusion of serving MP Nadine Dorries in this series has already caused great controversy. Not because no one has really heard of her, or because she will be missing important parliamentary business to appear in the show, ut because it’s obvious that no-one else will get voted to do a bush tucker trial. Expect at least the first five publicly voted trials to feature Nadine and absolutely every eating trial. There’s going to be a tory MP eating kangaroo cock on our TV’s for weeks. Great, innit?
Used to be in Pussy Cat Dolls, or something. Meh.