Dave (the TV channel, not some random bloke from the pub) has commissioned an almost-chatshow hosted by the former Red Dwarf chappie Robert Llewellyn, based on his web video format Carpool. Have you seen it?

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Paul ‘In no way a crackpot charlatan’ McKenna has teamed up with the producer and American Idol presenter Ryan Seacrest to make a new show currently called The Incurables. This can only end in tears can’t it? Yep, McKenna will visit people with serious mental or physical disorders and will try to help them with the power of his mind.

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For reasons that may never be clear to many of us, ITV has renewed Wild At Heart for a sixth series. Despite consistently decent viewing figures, I’ve yet to meet a single human who actually watches the show. I’ve never ever overheard someone talking about liking it. Come on! Show yourselves in the comments!

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Ian McShane stars alongside Donald Sutherland in the TV adaptation of Ken Follett’s bestselling novel. ‘The Pillars of the Earth’, due to air on Channel 4 this year. Set against a backdrop of war, religious strife and power struggles in 12th Century England, a love story is entwined with political turmoil in Follett’s tale.

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Matt Lucas and David Walliams (the creators of Little Britain) are going to be returning to BBC One with a brand spanking new comedy series set in a busy airport. Hopefully, it won’t feature Jeremy Spake.

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Emma Bunton (the Spice Girl it is okay to fancy) is going to host Five’s new reality/format/talent show Don’t Stop Believing, it has been announced by people who announce things. Yep, the cute-as-a-button mushroom singer has had a few TV gigs over the years, but the new singing contest will be her first major presenting job.

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British people are nosy. That’s why we like watching shows that open up people’s lives and let us rummage around in their past.

It won’t be much of a surprise to learn that there’s a new show appearing on the box, to be presented by the unlikely pairing of Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell which will airing on ITV1 called Long Lost Family which reunites family members.

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The fifth season of hit crime drama Bones, starring David Boreanaz (currently in “sincere pain after putting his wotsit into someone who wasn’t his wife) and Emily Deschanel comes to a close on Sky 1 HD and Sky 1 this Thursday (27th May at 10pm) with THE BEGINNING IN THE END. Capital letters there because it sounds more dramatic.

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Children. They’re creepy little shits aren’t they? They can’t function properly and stand around in bus shelters farting and spitting on the floor whilst texting each other about grown-up sexual exploits and their murderous intent. It’s the latter that’s detailed in Killer Kids, which will appear on the Crime & Investigation Network on Sunday 2nd May at 9pm.

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In what appears to be something akin to a modern day Superstars, ITV is apparently planning to hold a football skills competition. According to various reports, Premier League stars including Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard, Cesc Fabregas and Didier Drogba are in talks to join the contest.

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Most young adults take their freedom for granted – they can choose their friends, stay out late, learn to drive and decide what they want to do as a career. For people growing up on the autistic spectrum, life can be very different. But what is it like to grow up living with autism? In a series of warm and insightful films, BBC Three explores the complex lives of these young people as well as the challenges they face.

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