The BBC is, without question, a wonderful, wonderful thing. It’s more than just a TV station – think of the myriad of wonderful things that the air on the radio and online. However, after the recent (and decent) programmes shown throughout Halloween, it seems that everyone has beef with the Beeb for joining in the fun. Because people can be really stupid and short sighted sometimes. (more…)
Foodies are scum. Seriously. They’re the worst humans on television. They’re worse than war criminals. They’re worse than war-criminals in Global Hypercolor t-shirts at a Stereophonics gig. There is simply nothing worse than a foodie. And while you can just about let some of them off, because they’re vaguely charming, some of them deserved to be kicked and slapped ’til there is nothing left but their shadow. And the worst of the bunch is the utterly joyless Monica Galetti from Masterchef. (more…)
Anyone who thinks that The X Factor is a singing competition is, quite frankly, a simpleton. It’s a spectacle to be gawped at and chatted about. No more, no less. It isn’t about finding a new pop star, rather, it’s about getting big TV ratings. As soon as you understand that, the whole ogreish debacle becomes as thrilling as eating kebabs on a rollercoaster. And once again, the subplots threaten to overtake the main drag itself. (more…)
Apparently, we as a nation, are broken. We don’t like talking to each other, we’re constantly stabbing everyone whilst binge drinking hideous cocktails of Buckfast and teabags and generally puking ourselves down the toilet because it’s better than making friends with each other.
The tantrums at the BBC are long gone and Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley have forgotten all about that thing they did called The One Show to present… well… ITV’s early morning equivalent of The One Show. However, this time, it is called Daybreak and it’s on early in the morning when everyone is in a bad mood because they’ve got to go to work or the kids are eating the detritus from the toaster.
Channel 4 has given a new comedy series to Frankie Boyle and a previously unknown female comic who has been described as like “Kenny Everett in his prime, but without the beard”. Terrifying. Yep, Channel 4 are going all comedy on us again, remembering what it was we loved about them in the first place.
Ruth Rendell has criticised the graphic portrayal of violence on television. She has said, in an interview with The Daily Telegraph that she believes that some scenes are too explicit. Do you agree?
Today, The Guardian has reported on a funding crisis that is battering the production of children’s programmes in the UK, threatening one of British television’s best traditions. And now, Ed Vaizey, the new culture minister, has vowed to look investigate the problem. But is it already doomed?
Apparently, us Brits are more at ease with swearing than we used to be. Once upon a time, you couldn’t even say the mildest of blasphemes near a television set and now, The Simpsons has turned ‘crap’ into the lamest of rebuttals.
Britain’s Got Talent (ITV1) has closed the curtain on the acts (save an appearance at the Royal Variety Performance) and left a Cowell shaped hole in the listings. And as ever, what’s missing now is weird, gaudy TV to unite the chattering internet classes together in wide-eyed joy and a collective beratery.
The World Cup is so close that you can almost taste the drinks promotions and the resultant crushing hangover that makes your brain feel three sizes too big for your skull. And yes indeed, your TV will be riddled with men kicking a football or chasing people kicking a football and men endlessly talking about other men kicking and chasing a football. Are you ready?
Over the years, TV has been proud to bring us non-interactive coverage of people playing cards. Yep, TV poker is, bafflingly, something of a televisual fave. Sure, it is stuck away in the runty late-night slot away from all the proper programmes, but there it is, presumably watched by… well… nutters.
Did you see The Million Pound Drop Live (Channel 4) last night? Did you? Davina McCall fronted another show that feels like it might not live up to the expectations of various suits in meeting rooms as they puzzle over what they need to do with her and her career.
And so… the wait is finally over. The last ever, ever Lost has aired and everyone, it seems, was rather impressed with it all. That said… this is Lost we’re talking about… surely not everyone was pleased with the outcome? Of course, this contains spoilers, so if you don’t want to know anything about the finale, make your eyes run away now.
Wanna see Britain at its most ugly? Then why not focus entirely on small pockets of people with idiotic views on the world? Yessir, that’s what Young, British and Angry (BBC Three, Wednesday, 19 May, 9pm) did last night and boy oh boy, there was some dry-heaving to be had.
It is ironic that I’m already walking on egg-shells about this topic (what with everyone’s fave fry-up accompaniment being a chicken’s period)… but here goes. Basically, for the first time in British televisual history, we’ll be getting to see commercials about abortions. Yessir, a commercial will air to offer advice on abortion services and it will transmit next week.
It’s here. The bloody day of judgement is upon us. We’re about to find out who is going to be given the unenviable task of running us lot… we scurrying, shaved simians all drooling into our laps and howling uncontrollably at anyone in a suit. Yeah. And it is all unfurling on television right now.
I love election night. I really do. I’m invariably going to liveblog throughout the night tonight in a giddy fever mixed with a frustrated, aching boredom. Election night is rolling news that only focuses on one story and with that, there’s a lot of air time to kill… and that’s when the show gets good.
Bloody hell fire! We’re going to choose a new leader of the country! Unless of course, we get a hung parliament which alas, is nothing to do with huge male appendages (although whoever gets the gig will invariably be referred to in a similar light at some point in the not too distant future). With such a big event stirring in the firmament, TV is on hand to give you absolutely every angle, opinion and shot of the whole sordid mess.
I – Mof Gimmers aka Massive Pleb – have just returned from an audience with Stephen Hawking. Y’know? The Beatle of Science. He’s so famous that it makes my head ache. He’s so clever that my being in the same room as him made for a live action version of Pinky and the Brain. It’s preposterous. I was all set to make a massive tit of myself…
From:Coronation Street fans apply here