It’s a tough, competitive world out there in multichannel TV land, but let’s face it – we’ve never had it so good when it comes to choice and quality. Nowadays, there’s always something to watch somewhere across our EPGs. And, after many years of becoming a secondary option, multichannel, digital channels have improved to the point of almost taking over their traditionally terrestrial rivals in terms of the quality of programming rosters. Now the barriers between terrestrial and digital have crumbled, TV is like the Wild West – it’s every channel for itself. They can wear huge moustaches and chaps if they want to, but it really is a shoot-out. Over the jump, I’ve taken a closer look at some of the channels we at TV Scoop watch most in multichannel land (that means no Babestation, sorry). Are they really as good as the established the channels?

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Five continues to be a funny pupil. And I don’t mean haha. It’s almost a non-channel. In today’s crowded multichannel environment, five has to work very hard because there are so many channels out there that provide some excellent and varied stuff. Last year, I thought I was constructive and supportive to five when I said: “At the end of it all though, five still acts as a bridge between the main, established terrestrial channels and the hot-on-its-heels multichannels. It still feels sometimes that it throws all kinds of things at the wall and hopes that some of it sticks.” So what has changed in a year?

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Ah Channel 4. For so many years a virtual outcast in the school, not really knowing where he fit in, he would be seen wandering aimlessly about the playground looking in the bins, frightening the younger pupils and making the older ones point and laugh. But recently I do believe C4 has grown up a bit. I’m not going to say he has joined mainstream school society. No, that would be putting it too strongly. But I do think the boy has finally developed a sense of his own identity, as his most excellent artwork amply demonstrates.

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Where do you start with ITV1? It comes from a good family, and in the past its elder brothers and sisters have always done well in class. In fact, they’ve been a joy to teach. However, recently this pupil has consistently failed to deliver. On a really massive scale. In fact, this teacher has pretty much given up trying to help this pupil, and no matter how many private, one-on-one after-school sessions it’s treated to, it still doesn’t produce the grades. Last year’s school report said this: “Lazy, uninspired, an insult to the nation’s rapidly dwindling intelligence. Must do better” Not the greatest, then. But a year has passed, and the channel has Peter Fincham onboard. So things are looking up. Or are they?

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As BBC Two returns to school this week, the staff here at TV Scoop High are happy to see that he is just as neat and tidy, and eager to learn as ever. One of the most studious of our, erm, students, BBC Two has always thrived in the more academic subjects – although we had concerns about his performance in Science last year. So how has BBC Two fared in the academic year 2007-8?

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This pupil has been a strong performer for many years now, underlined by the head-pupil status. Over the years, BBC One has consistently handed homework in on-time and for the most part, school work has been to a good level, occasionally exceptional. In the past, this pupil has been strong in almost every field, however, unusually, for this strong pupil, this past school-year has seen worrying trends cropping up, which we’re hoping to address in the new term.

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We did this thing last year called Back To School, where the Scoopers of TV Scoop wrote school report-style appraisals of each of the major TV channels. We really enjoyed doing it as it gave us a chance to share how we thought the channels had been doing in the past year – to express how we felt each channel had done during the past year, to pat them on the back for the things we felt they had done well, and to have a bit of a dig if we felt they hadn’t done a good job. It also gave us a chance to write our posts in an amusing school report style. To have a look at last year’s efforts, go here. But, in the meantime look out for Mof’s school report later on today. BBC One kicks things off.

“The truth is this: the more television there is, the less any of it matters.” These words were barked by Jeremy Paxman in his recent Edinburgh TV festival keynote speech, and to some extent he’s right – the more digital, multichannel TV copulates, breeds and spawns, the more difficult it is to understand how or why these channels exist.

Some argue that Sky and cable, and now internet-based TV, give us more and more choice, and de-centralises the TV monopolies that once sat pretty at the top of the terrestrial tree. But there’s one lingering odour that wafts from the 300-odd channels that are now available to us – the more there is, the less likely I am to stay in one particular place. I never seem to sit and watch programmes all the way through these days, knowing as I do (or at least thinking I know) that there’s plenty of other stuff on, on another channel. But do you know what? There never is.

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Where does one start with a student like five? When you look at this channel from the outside, it seems as though it has had a decent year – some strong US imports, some interesting one-offs and it has even expanded by adding a few new channels to its canon. So on the outside all looks rosy, but why, after looking at its schedules, do I always come away scratching my head?

Where does this leave the channel as it enters a new term? Can it survive on its inferior budgets and stave off strong competition from some of the emerging multi-channels?

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Morning everyone. Quiet down at the back please. Especially you Channel 4; trouble seems to follow you everywhere you go. And what’s that five? Yes we can hear you perfectly well thank you, no need to shout. ITV, please put those telephones away, you know those things are against school rules. And Sky One! Please be quiet… no you cannot have some of BBC One and BBC Two’s lunch money!

What the bally nader am I on about here? Well, seeing as the kids go back to school in the real world, we at TV Scoop thought it’d be a good idea to take a look at what kind of shape each of our favourite channels are in now it’s time to for the new term. What have they done right? What have they done wrong? Is there any room for improvement?

Over the course of this week, our team of writers will look at each one and give their verdicts. We’ll be taking a look at BBC One (to follow shortly), BBC Two, ITV1, Channel 4, five, Sky One and General Multichannel. Let’s hope they all make the grade!