In many ways Suzanne Shaw was sort of the prototype of the pink-obsessed Big Brother twins (we haven’t forgotten those ‘My Little Pony’ hair extensions from the Hear’Say days!) so it’s no great shock to find that she’ll be singing the soundtrack on a new Barbie movie. She’s cute, she’s funny and we know the kids will love her. Despite the Darren Day business, the girl’s done good, let’s not mock her. Too much. Interview cut in with pictures of Disney castles over the page…
Archive for the ‘Available For Panto’ Category
Poll: Was Ola Jordan’s outfit a bit much?
Monday, September 22nd, 2008
Our ed Paul, red-blooded male that he is thoroughly enjoyed the site of Ola in her catsuit, and before you all accuse me of being a prude or whatever I should stress I think she looked pretty good just as I’m sure Tess Daly looks pretty good in her underwear, or naked. But Tess Daly doesn’t go on teatime telly in her pants. Holly Willoughy almost does, sometimes. And sure, Ola is no stranger to the skimp, and this series the costume department really seem to be enjoying themselves. But have they gone too far this time? What do we think, folks? A bit strong for a family show, or fine and dandy, this being the 21st century and all? We’d love to know.
Brtiains’s Got Talent choirboy ‘the next Bocelli’
Friday, September 19th, 2008
And for a minute I thought, nay hoped, that the fame had gone to his head, and now Andrew Johnston is aspiring to better the Renaissance artist. I had visions of him emerging from a giant shell, a long blond wig swirling in the sea breeze. In fact, it was all a simple misreading. Let’s not dwell on it.
Andrew Johnston, the council estate choirboy who looks a bit like a young John Leslie, is still out there, still singing, and rapidly – going on the latest pictures – experiencing pubescence. He wants to be BOCELLI, the opera singer. Not Botticelli, the artist (and ‘fifth turtle’)…
Simon Cowell’s had ‘so much botox he can’t scowl’
Friday, September 19th, 2008
What is it with The X Factor and botox? I’m sure the quantity of the stuff the judges get through can’t be representative of the general population. Even the general TV talent show judging population. But Simon does it. Louis has said he’s been tempted (while you’re at it, mate, I have this turd that needs polishing?), and by the looks of her, Dannii’s almost certainly had ‘something done’.
Meanwhile, over on Britain’s Got Talent, Amanda Holden’s looking tighter by the day, and Piers Morgan looks like he’s no stranger to a bit of ‘male grooming’. But what’s the point? I mean really, who’s looking at the forehead? Check out the pic over the page and tell us, does he look good on it? Maybe you just think he should have something done about the lip sweat (UGH!!!!)
Shit Lookalikes: Michelle Ryan and Rachel from Big Brother
Friday, September 19th, 2008
I like Michelle Ryan. I think she has a very old school English Rose sort of look and she was great in peculiar James Nesbitt drama ‘Jekyll’ last year as well as the Bionic Woman, of course. From Saturday onwards we’ll be watching her as Nimueh in Merlin, too. But don’t you think the Medieval version of Michelle resembles somewhat the glam version of Rachel off of Big Brother? Let me show you.
Webber offers free tickets for credit crunch bankers
Thursday, September 18th, 2008
Do you occupy the mid section of a ven comprised of circles labeled ‘people pictured this week carrying their belongings out of a major investment bank in a cardboard box’ and ‘fans of talent show spin-off musicals by Andrew Lloyd Webber’?
Well stop weeping into your stolen stapler, take the Cats soundtrack off your incredibly expensive record player and listen. I know it’s hard being incredibly rich and successful, but look – your guardian angel is here! He’s not the best looking angel, but he is here for you, forsaken wealthy. He’s like a latterday Robin Hood, albeit a bit of a warped one, stealing from himself and giving to the rich. It’s Andrew Lloyd Webber, and honey – it’s your lucky day!
Strictly Come Dancing: Arlene Phillips has ‘piled on the pounds’
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008
Brilliant story, this. It covers my three favourite things: Strictly Come Dancing, cosmetic surgery and women in their 60s. Arlene is considering a gastric band after gaining more than a stone since the last series. Here’s what she said…
Strictly Come Dancing – Brendan Cole hearts Lisa Snowdon
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
Inexplicable lothario Brendan Cole seems delighted with his partner for once. He’s got Lisa Snowdon this year. His girlfriend, meanwhile, has taken to waiting in the wings and keeping an eye on their rehearsals, which must be somewhat offputting, but I guess isn’t all that surprising given my his reputation. Come over the jump to watch him discussing how well they ‘get along’ (and looking a bit like a magician.)
Strictly Come Dancing: is Gillian too old for Anton?
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
Professional dancer and mysterious housewives’ choice Anton du Beke, it has been noted, is often paired up with older women on Strictly…
Big Brother – where are they now?
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008It’s possible I’m slightly overestimating your interest in the ongoing careers of sometime Big Brother House inhabitants. I don’t think so though. I think they become more interesting when the cameras are off. Take Chanelle. No please, take her… etc etc. Here’s what your fave 2008 housemates are up to at the moment:
TV surgery news: Ulrika’s front, Jill’s back, Jade’s op, Darnell’s face
Monday, September 15th, 2008
Ulrika ka ka is planning to get her post-baby bosom reduced, but does this make her a hypocrite?
Meanwhile, 80s pop group Shakatak’s frontwoman Jill Saward had a facelift in the hope of kickstarting her career on Living TV’s series Pop Goes The Band.
Shit Lookalikes: Grayson Perry and Ceri Rees
Monday, September 15th, 2008What do you mean, ‘who’s Ceri Rees’? Have you been paying attention to a word we’ve said?! Our very own John was talking about her just the other day. Ceri is the comeback sensation, the woman who can’t be kept away from X Factor auditions, and who is indulged, year after year, by the show producers. She’s had something of a makeover, though, presumably mistaking the main problem to be her image. Hasn’t done her much good. So tell us, don’t you think she now bears more than a passing resemblance to transvestite sculptor Grayson Perry?
New Strictly Come Dancing trailer – yay or nay?
Friday, September 12th, 2008
It’s short, but kind of sweet and there’s a rather ambitious nod to Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey with the Blue Danube music (and possibly ET, at the end.) Basically, a load of people are floating around in a giant mirror ball, which bounces along the London skyline before settling somewhere and releasing a stream of minor celebrities onto our drab, glamour-hungry planet. Kitschly glam, surreal, fun, punching slightly above its weight and displaying no real respect for the laws of gravity, I think it sums up Strictly pretty well. Of course it’s easy to mock but for all we know, this is how it actually happens.
Pop over the page to have a look if you’ve not seen it yet and tell us, won’t you, what do you think?
Strictly Come Dancing: costume dramas
Friday, September 12th, 2008
OK, here’s the breaks. Jessie Wallace is annoyed because she’s lost a load of weight and wants to show off her hot new figure in a skimpy dress…. but apparently Lisa Snowdon is getting all the tiny dresses ‘just because she’s a model’. Meanwhile, Rachel Stevens is refusing to wear the skimpy ones, and wants to cover up! Seriously, stay with me. This is important. “I went for a fitting the other day and they want me to wear this two-piece. I was like, ‘Give me a break!” Some images over the jump, see what you think (about Jessie’s hair as well)…
X Factor hopeful is ‘not a friend of Cheryl’
Friday, September 12th, 2008
X Factor production company Talkback Thames is now stating that X Factor hopeful Austin Drage is no friend of Cheryl Cole. Still no word on his relationship with Dorothy, though.
To see what a spokesperson for Talkback said (and see the full audition) come with me…
GMTV: Do Fiona Phillips and Kate Garraway hate each other?
Thursday, September 11th, 2008
I’m not keen on the term ‘catfight’, but you can bet it’ll be appearing on every bit of news you see about GMTV presenters Fiona Phillips and Kate Garraway this week. Everyone’s muttering about the two hating each other since Phillips spoke rather openly of her feelings, before quitting GMTV. The presenter attempted to put the record straight on Al Murray’s chat show, last night…
Peter Jones says ‘fire Alan Sugar’
Thursday, September 11th, 2008
(You’re never going to get an Alan Sugar article with a headline that doesn’t contain the word ‘fire’ or ‘hire’, and frankly it’s high time you came to terms with that.)
The rivalry between these suit-wearing TV personalities is really getting out of hand when even ‘quiet man’ Peter Jones is telling the tabs it’s time Sir Alan stepped down. But on what grounds his dismissal? You might be surprised…
Shit Lookalikes: Edwina Currie and Kelly Brook
Thursday, September 11th, 2008
Brutal one for you today, but I hope you’ll see what I mean. Kelly Brook, currently in the news for having, er, a bosom, has better taste in men it must be said… but their faces! Look closely – they could be mother and daughter! No? Let me show you what I mean. You’ll never look at Kelly in the same way again. (Edwina had her ‘never look at in the same way again’ moment ages ago)…
X Factor: is Cheryl’s honeymoon period over?
Thursday, September 11th, 2008
Oh dear, Cheryl. A new scandal has hit the already scandal-battered show, and even the real papers have decided this one’s worth writing up…
Andrew Lloyd Webber – no talent show this year?
Wednesday, September 10th, 2008We’ve had three Webber hit shows so far, colloquially known as “the Marias”, “the Josephs” and the rather more tenuous “Nancys” – but there won’t be one this year. Seems Webber’s decided to quit while he’s ahead. Probably a smart move…
From:Coronation Street fans apply here