Spooks is back on our telly boxes tonight and so how to mark the occasion? A re-cap of the character’s histories? A trip down memory lane to remember those Spooks that we have loved and lost? Or a full-on whinge about that bloody awful commercial star Rupert Penry-Jones does for Tesco (Martine McCutcheon I get, the poor lass hasn’t got much on at the moment – but why Rupert why?) Nope, how’s about a top ten of the spookiest things on the TV? From the genuinely scary to the silly - prepare to be spooked!

1. Ghostwatch
Described as a 'horror-mockumentary television movie', 1992’s Ghostwatch starred then BBC stalwarts Sarah Greene and Michael Parkinson as they investigated a family whose home was inhabited by a nasty ghost called ‘Pipes’. With Parky in the studio and Greene at the family’s house, the programme became increasingly spooky and unpredictable until Pipes finally gained power and haunted the BBC studios themselves. Now, of course this was all carefully plotted, but such was my gullibility back then, that I was utterly terrified by the whole thing. In my defence, I wasn’t the only one as the BBC were made to defend themselves against accusations of causing post-traumatic stress in children and even triggering the suicide of a teenager with learning difficulties. Of course, I now know it to be the silly hoax it was, but until you’ve witnessed the terror of Parky possessed by a ghost – you can’t judge.

Sometimes, people disappoint me so much thanks to being so ridiculously predictable. Yesterday, in my review of Top Gear (BBC Two, Sunday, 8pm) I said "Hammond, May and Clarkson all started chuckling away at some smoking pipes made by Porsche, to which (middle England, complaint pens at the ready) all the presenters lit up and enjoyed a good smoke whilst reclining in tatty old armchairs." Guess what?

The BBC has come under fire (ho! The irony) after the smoking of the pipes which has caused anti-smoking campaigners to complain. Yep. Some people have got absolutely nothing better to do with their time. Campaigners have asked the BBC to apologise for the segment, but the corporation claimed that it had not broken the law because the presenters were not smoking tobacco.

It's official. I have a new enemy on the box... and it's Nigellaaaaaaaaaaargh Lawson. Her show, Nigella Express (BBC Two, Monday, 8.30pm) continues to dumbfound and aggravate. Quite how Nigella has rubbed me up so badly is a bit of a mystery. She's not a psychological bully like Gillian McKeith or Nicky Hambleton-Jones... but I feel the same rising bile when Lawson plops into my eye-line. I'd started to think that I was being unreasonable. Then I watched last night's programme.

All the usual trademarks of Nige' were there. Pwetending to be one of us by walking around in a rush and cooking in spare moments. Then, Lawson went through some kind of telephonic canonising. Yep. Nigella became a Saint.

If you've missed out on The Restaurant (BBC Two, Wednesday, 8pm) so far, then I'm sorry to tell you that you've missed on of the finest shows of the year so far. This week, we finally get to the climactic conclusion where we see Raymond Blanc choose just who is going to get the chance of a lifetime and go into business with him. For once, the prize of a TV show is really worth crowing about. Of course, this chance doesn't come cheap and the final contestants, Jess and Laura, Jeremy and Jane, will be asked to sweat blood. Naturally, that's not meant literally as Blanc is nowhere near as odious as, say, Alan Sugar or the Dragon's Den lot. However, his quiet and brooding authority has seen levels of respect that I've never seen on the box before.

To finally claim the prize, the contestants are dragged away from their familiar surroundings and packed off to Blanc's home town of Besancon in France, where they have less than 48 hours to open their own restaurant for one night and introduce the French to British cuisine. No easy task eh? Not only that, they've got to impress Raymond's mother. With the tension increased and the nerves of the participants now ultra fraught, we'll inevitably see a few snaps and of course, some tears. This is to be the reality TV final of the decade and, what's more, no-one but the experts get a say in the matter. Just how things should be.

After the rather low-key affair that was the National Movie Awards, it's good to get back to what is often a genuinely interesting and entertaining evening, with the National Television Awards. The long-list came out way back in the summer, but now voting has gone live for the shortlists.

Well, you know that we TVScoopers aren't short of an opinion or two, so if you pop over the cut you'll see all the nominated shows, presenters and actors and who we're backing to win. Yes, we might just be supporting Life On Mars...

For some reason, I've seen quite a bit of Top Gear (BBC Two, Sunday, 8pm) over the years... and I have no idea why. There's quite a few reasons to my puzzlement. Firstly, I despise Richard Hammond. The odious little pipsqueak is one of the most self serving gits on the box. Same goes for Clarkson. He's an oaf of the highest order. I don't like cars, don't even drive and have no interest in car design and engine noises and so on. My viewing wasn't helped by the fact I've been ill all weekend, flipping between a hacking cough and swigging Pine and Honey Balsam (which includes my most hated ingredient, liquorice). So why did I enjoy Top Gear so much?

Top Gear has come a long way since its original format which essentially featured Jeremy Clarkson, Quentin Wilson and Tiff Needell razzing the hell out of very powerful cars and doing very little else. Now, the show is less about cars and more about the characters. Of course, there is plenty of high octane fun, but really, it's as much about the verbal sparring between Clarkson and the increasingly popular James May. As enjoyable as the show is, yesterday, the show managed to get me onto the edge of my seat and very briefly dragged my out of my illness... but how?

The TV listings are a minefield. Channel hopping can leave you locked in a vicious repetitive cycle that leave you in a vicious repetitive cycle of channel hopping, locked, hammering the buttons in a cycle of vicious... you might end up watching Smallville on E4... and no-one wants that do they? Let's try and sidestep the pap and gun straight for the joy.

Friday - QI, BBC Two, 10pm

I'm quite embarrassed to admit that I used to think that Stephen Fry was a smug git and not very funny to boot. I was so obviously wrong that it pains me now. No matter. I like him now. I especially enjoy his quite interesting quiz, which tonight, looks at exploration. Thankfully, Jimmy Carr isn't one of the guests tonight (god I despise him) instead favouring Bill Bailey, Rich Hall, Sean Lock and Alan Davies. Expect wild tangents and high brow mirth (mixed with potty mouthed asides from the panel). Jolly good fun what!

Read over for the rest of the weekend's picks...

The currency of comedy is laughter, and if that's the case, then The Peter Serafinowicz Show (BBC Two, Thursday, 9.30pm) is a very wealthy show indeed. Again, after a slightly muted reception (like the Vivienne Vyle show) on these pages, Peter Serafinowicz's characters seemed to have missed the mark. Of course, this is where I disagree. After two episodes, I've laughed and laughed all the way through.

Serafinowicz is clearly one of Britain's finest comedic character actors. In his show, he sends up the best and worst of television, lampooning many things that I can't believe haven't been pastiched before. As an easy jibe, he parodied Simon Cowell which, though hardly inspired, did use a gratuitous use of the word "c*nt" which, as purile as it is, is pretty funny. In saying that, as good as his Cowell is, it's the weakest thing on a wonderful wonderful show.

The Life and Times of Vivienne Vyle (BBC Two, Thursday, 9pm) has had a lukewarm reception on these pages and, in my opinion, quite unfairly. I'm now two episodes in with this dark sitcom which revolves around the grotesque world of daytime talk shows, and I've got a feeling that many are missing the point of the show.

I have to confess that I've never been a fan of Jennifer Saunders' work, but something in me always wanted to like her. It seems this bleak satire on, well, Jeremy Kyle essentially, is what I've been waiting for. On the surface, this is a thoroughly depressing programme. Mean, calculated characters create moral vacuums and care so little for their fellow human that it is, at times, almost unbearable to watch. However, take off the pinko specs and start thinking like Brass Eye and Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe... then one of the finest shows on the box will reveal itself.

Ah. Heroes (BBC Two, Wednesday, 9pm). You old devil you. You've got more cliffhangers than Beachy Head. For those of you who don't have digital telly and the extra channels, you'd better not read this as I watched two episodes last night, and I can't remember which bits happened in which programme. If you haven't seen the next episode (to be shown on BBC Two) then you're in for a treat. That's all I'm telling you. Now, be off with you as I'm probably going to give away quite a few spoilers.

Heroes, despite all the hype, is living up to the promises. I can't quite work out why, but it has. It's got thrills, spills, intrigue, great plot twists, loveable characters and the intense humming of pure evil. Quite simply, it's the best American drama I've seen in a long time. So what happened and what did I think of it? Well, read over as I don't want to mention anything in here for fear of ruining next weeks episode...

"It would be unreasonable to ask you to be the best... but I think it's perfectly reasonable for me to ask you to be your best". And with that rallying call from Raymond Blanc, so began last night's fantastic edition of The Restaurant (BBC Two, Wednesday, 8pm). As I've mentioned previously, last night saw Monsieur Blanc turning up at the various participating eateries to see just how good his contestants are. The nervous energy and worry was plain to see as, and this is something of a rarity in TV, the contestants clearly respected Raymond to the point where they became those that averted their eyes when he entered.

Now that we're down to the last three couples, a lesser show would have taken a week 'off'. We would have seen them having a bit of fun and we'd get to 'know' them a little better. However, the great thing about The Restaurant is that it refuses to budge. It keeps things simple. It tells us that we learn far more about our contestants by watching them work... and it's true. I couldn't care less about their personal lives... I want to see how good they can be. This show is not trying to make a celebrity out of anyone. Being down to the last three, and two couples going into tonight's challenge, that means someone is through to the final non?

Now that we have our two leading characters (Jack, the anti-hero and the ‘quirky’ woman) confirmed in our formula to create a TV show, we need to work on the programmes set-up, and one detail springs to mind – the voice-over. A huge number of current US shows seem to favour the inclusion of a narrator, with the technique able to serve a number of purposes.

You want insight into a complicated and hard-to-relate-to character? I give you Dexter Morgan (Dexter). You’ve got a number of plot strands and need them to be neatly brought together? How’s about Mohinder Suresh (Heroes) or Mary Alice Young (Desperate Housewives)? And what of the more conventional sitcoms that invite us to root for our silly hero, like JD (Scrubs) or Earl Hickey (My Name is Earl)?

Yessir. It's back. TVs cruelest show Dragon's Den (BBC Two, Monday, 9pm) is here to allow us, the scoffing public, to openly titter at nervous people getting shouted at for trying to make something of themselves whilst we all join in with ridiculing their every move. It's like the American Dream only in reverse.

The RT tells me that Monday's show features a David Beckham lookalike who wants a stupid amount of money to launch a stable of celebrity impersonators... and look! He's only gone and brought a Will Smith and a Johnny Depp along for support! Jesus. I'm already ridiculing. It doesn't start until Monday. My gentle ribbing doesn't match the horrendous reality of seeing a man get his dreams dismantled and shat on in a dark loft. So that's something. Another something is the addition of a new Dragon. Will I finally get my wish for a real fire breathing dragon?

Not until 19th November will we find out who has won what, but for now, there's some celebrating to do! Why? Well, British television has just been paid tribute by the International Emmy Awards nominations. UK drama, comedy and documentary have received eight nominations... which is more than any other country. Victoria Wood is up for best actress for Housewife, 49 and Jimmy McGovern's brilliant drama The Street is up for two awards: best drama series and best actor for the ever popular Jim Broadbent.

The other nominees are Stephen Fry's acclaimed The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive as well as Little Britain, Simon Schama's Power of Art, How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? and More4's Death of a President. There's a notable absence of US shows, so I think I'm correct in assuming that they have their own awards. Anyway, read over for the full list of nominations.

At TV Scoop we’ve been committed to following the progress of this year’s students fight it out for academic supremacy in BBC2’s University Challenge. I cannot lay claim to an ounce of the intelligence blessing the students competing on the long-running show, and as play-at-home entertainment I’m thrilled to score just a handful of correct answers. For those onscreen, it’s a very different matter with the prestige of their institution at stake, not to mention the fear of one of Paxman’s trademark withering looks or telling offs with each wrong answer.

Last night’s installment was our last look at all the participating teams (the next two weeks are play-offs) and so now having met everyone, we can more fully judge which groups mean business and which contestants have brains like encyclopaedias. One such impressive fellow was the University of Sheffield’s captain Paul McKay. When reporting on his team’s passage to the second round (they beat Lancaster), I applauded the clever chap and even found myself musing on his impressive performance a week on. Now, the team captain with the ‘inexplicable’ white patch of hair (which according to him is similar in style to a young Einstein, hence the picture) has given us at TV Scoop a sneaky look into life on University Challenge.

Click over for the interview

Last night’s University Challenge was another Oxford versus Cambridge affair, this time with Christ Church College (O) going head-to-head with Homerton (C, pictured right). Paxman informed us that the institution from ‘the city of dreaming spires’ (as that is Oxford’s name according to those good folks at Wikipedia) has won the contest 13 times, whereas Cambridge have only earned the honour a paltry six times. Of course, when I say paltry I mean in comparison to Oxford, rather than us common folk like myself, who could never get within a stone’s throw of the contest and are thrilled to get the odd question right.

Paxman introduced the teams, and seemed to have a certain soft spot for the Oxford gang. A quick spot of online research revealed that he hadn’t previously studied at Christ Church (rather St Catharine's College, Cambridge), as I had suspected from his noticeable bias. Maybe it was just the cut of their jib that he admired, regardless let’s introduce the teams.

Nigella Lawson is fast becoming my new target for needless kickings. She's joined that reverse pantheon that is Gillian McKeith, Nicky Hambleton-Jones, Jimmy Carr and many many many many others. Basically, to a man, they're all asinine idiots.

As Monday nights are notoriously poor for TV these days, once again, I found myself sat at the box, jaw flapping in the wind, to watch yet another Nigella Express (BBC Two, Monday, 8pm). Yet more desperate attempts to convince the world that Nigella is just like us filled my screen. She like some kind of Daily Mail doll. Look at her real hair! She rides a bus! She can (just about) talk! She has real working eyes! Sadly, as is the case with all dolls, she has no soul...

Heroes has got the hooks in me. I need to know what happens. Initially, I thought it was a decent show that I'd dip in and out of, but then, just when I was becoming complacent, loads of exciting stuff happened, a couple of plot twists were thrown my way and Christopher Eccleston turned up as Claude the Invisible Man. Brilliant.

It's easy to think that Heroes takes itself far too seriously, but with Claude's introduction, the show has been given a great injection of life and more importantly, humour and... dare I say it... quirkiness. In Wednesday's show, we get to see Claude arguing atop a roof with Peter Petrelli before it is brought to a unexpectedly brutal halt. We also get to see more of Claire (the new thinking man's fancy piece... a la Jack's daughter in 24... I say thinking man...) who goes to see her real mother whilst adoptive ma finds herself in the hands of the genuinely terrifying Syler. It's all go in comicland...