Ah! The weekend is upon us once more! Doesn’t that feel great? No more working for a day or two, unless of course, you work weekends and you really hate it when people go on about it as it reminds you of how unfair life is. Yeah. At least there’s iPlayer and the like should you miss anything good. With that, let us see what this weekend has in store for us.

Tonight: Norman Wisdom: His Story, BBC Two, 9pm

Given his age and state of health, it wasn’t surprising that Norman Wisdom shrugged off his mortal coil recently. However, that doesn’t make the news any nicer. We can only hope that Norman fell over a hatstand on the way through the pearly gate, leaving St Peter doubled up with laughter. And tonight, we get to see Norman at his best as we all get together to look over his life and career. His family are on hand to regale us with tales, along with Stephen Frears, Ricky Tomlinson, Leslie Phillips, Honor Blackman and Vera Lynn.

Tonight: Davina McCall: A Comedy Roast, Channel 4, 9pm

Even if you don’t like Davina McCall, you can’t ever accuse her of not being a sport. And tonight, we see the former Big Brother presenter sitting through a roasting which basically means that a group of people stand around her and say the most hurtful things they can think of in the name of comedy. Host Jimmy Carr is joined by Rich Hall, Julian Clary and Patrick Kielty, as well as Chris Moyles, Dermot O’Leary and Fearne Cotton. Brian Dowling, Nikki Grahame and Brian Belo also turn up, leaving the viewer to wonder just how much better the world could have been if someone had filled the studio with a toxic gas during filming.

Tomorrow: The X Factor, ITV, 7.30pm

It’s the second live studio round of the only TV show really worth watching over the weekend. Even if you hate the show, it’s worth tuning in and watching the vitriol pour out on Twitter which becomes almost like a bilious director’s commentary on the events that unfurl. The remaining 14 step out and sing sing sing while perfecting their ‘vote for me’ face. It’s high camp mixed with WWE. Dermot O’Leary presents, you swear and the results are revealed on Sunday at 8pm.

Sunday: Downton Abbey, ITV, 9pm

Yet another mutton chopped period drama from the BBC. When will it end? Clue: It will never end. Anyway, people lap this shit up so it’s only fair we should mention it. Of course, the Beeb do period dramas better than anyone and this weekend, we see the fair coming to Downton Village. This, of course, means romance and people dreaming of running away with the circus. You know exactly what’s going to happen because all these stories are the same, not that it matters. Get lost in society and stiff-lips.

Sunday: The Secret Millionaire, Channel 4, 9pm

A new series of the Let’s Make Rich People Cry And Grow A Heart kicks off again this weekend with millionaire Chris Brown. It’s the usual mix of soul-searching and seeing how people in working class areas aren’t all completely hopeless and, this weekend there’s something of a first. In Manchester, Brown offers a big cheque out and awaits the sound of Take That’s ‘Greatest Day’… but sadly for him, he’s met with; “No offence – I don’t do money. I’ve never taken anything off anyone.” A refusal? Surely not!