Ann Widdecombe aka A less lovable John Sergeant is going to be on Strictly Come Dancing. Imagine that. Watching that prudish lump gyrating her way through a clumsy, no-touching-please paso doble. It’s enough to kill everyone’s sex lives forever.

Anyway, for some reason, Ann has decided to tell us all that, under no circumstances, will she be using fake tan during her short-spell on Strictly Come Dancing.

The Tory, who will find out her pro partner on Saturday’s launch show, said that she will not be hitting the sunbeds or getting spray tans to look better under the lights.

“Am I ready for the fake tan? No I won’t be having any fake tan, guys, I can promise you that” she told DS. “I really don’t want fake tan.”

So. Her appearance is a piss-take right?

Nope.

“I am going to be ambitious. Once we have got the basic steps right – and that might take me a while – I will be trying to do some things that people don’t necessarily expect me to do,” she said.

Strictly starts on Saturday at 6.25pm on BBC One and it’s going to be awful.