When Big Brother starts to lag (notably, when every bugger decides to bunk off early because they can’t be bothered seeing out the show), they do the tried and tested thing of chucking more people at the house. Not literally sadly.

So, one dicky knee injury and two moaning gits later, Big Brother feels that the house just isn’t crowded enough. With that tonight’s show will see Big Brother upping the tally in the House by adding three new housemates to the mix.

As ever, the show will tart about first. Big Brother has invited 50% more potential housemates down to the house to plead their case for housemate status.

The six potential new housemates will be joining Davina during the live Channel 4 show all with the hope of becoming the latest residents of the most famous bedsit on TV currently.

With only three places up for grabs each of the six hopefuls will spend today filming an audition tape. They will need to plead their case for why they should join the house and become a Big Brother housemate. They will also have to state which of the current housemates they like …and who they can’t stand.

During the second of tonight’s live shows these audition tapes will be played into the house and the current housemates current housemates will have one minute to decide which three of the hopefuls will join them and be given full housemate status.

The potential new housemates are:

Name: JJ
Age: 23
From: London
Occupation: Professional Boxer / Barman

Pro boxer JJ is goal orientated and driven to win, especially when it comes to money. He hates losing with a passion and admits to being vain and cocky. He got into boxing at the age of 13 and has had 12 professional fights – winning five, losing five and drawing two. His dream is to become a World Boxing Champion…or a television presenter. He is scared of potatoes though. And he’s a compulsive liar. You can decide which of those two facts contribute to his claim that he knows JLS’s Aston. In short, he’s clearly a prick.

Name: Jo
Age: 41
From: Luton
Occupation: Make Up Artist

A DJ! Yep! She uses the name DJ Naked too! Alas, she’s a crushing singleton and hasn’t had a relationship for seven years. Apparently she’s a nightmare when she doesn’t have her own space. That said, she’s happy to be thought of as a “cougar”. You’ll be pleased to know she’s a born again Christian. Sweet muscular Jesus. Where do they find these people? Don’t say ‘a church’.

Name: Joel
Age: 33
From: London
Occupation: Busker

Steel-drum-playing Joel calls himself the “sexiest fat man” around. He also claims to have an IQ of over 130. Not a chance in hell of winning.

Name: Laura
Age: 20
From: Stratford-Upon-Avon
Occupation: Sales Assistant

Single Laura has a tattoo reading ‘live, love & laugh’ on her hip and she thinks everyone should laugh everyday and ‘your eyes will go like testicles if you mean it’. She is a self described life and soul of all parties adding ‘I’m the funniest person; people say ‘is that the girl who dances on her own?’ However, she admits that people actually call her ‘greedy, selfish, stuck-up, nasty piece of work’. Pretend sex-pot and wacky type, this girl will make you want to cut your eyes out with scissors.

Name: Megan
Age: 20
From: Liverpool
Occupation: Bar Assistant

A bubbly scouser who looks like a WAG. This means she’s probably lazy and won’t pull her weight around the house and thereby incurring the wrath of everyone in there. Marvellous. She rates herself 10 out of 10 for attractiveness. Bloody Nora.

Name: Sam
Age: 21
From: Kent
Occupation: Graffiti artist

Oooh! A graffiti artist! HOW MODERN! Yep, Sam is laid back and probably smoked weed a couple of times. Of course, this deadbeat can’t survive in the wilds on his own, so in a street tuff manner, lives with his grandparents who do all the cooking and cleaning for him. Shit a brick. He’s either going to be hateful or blissfully unaware and adorable.