The weekend is here again and, if you live ’round my way, the weather is shocking. That means you’ll be glaring angrily out of the window at those great big rainy clouds and settling down with the telly – your only true friend.

Tonight: BBC Proms 2010, BBC Two, 8pm

It is time for some musical clairvoyance again as a bunch of people in suits rattle their bones at other people in formal clobber all rattle through Gustav Mahler’s 8th Symphony. Katie Derham and her guests present the evening and talk breathlessly about who cares what.

Tonight: Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, BBC One, 10.35pm

The last ever Friday Night with Jonathan Ross airs tonight after nearly a decade on the box. Expect smut, misplaced fawning and blokey asides as well as music from Roxy Music and chat with David Beckham, Jackie Chan and Mickey Rourke. Not a bad clutch of guests to bow out on before moving to The Other Channel.

Tomorrow: Tonight’s the Night, BBC One, 8pm

John Barrowman hosts yet more of that bloody ‘family viewing’ that is blighting our boxes at the minute. This show is an evening of moments that sees the dreams of special people coming true. Basically, it’s a mixture of Surprise Surprise and Jim’ll Fix It.

Tomorrow: 30 Years of An Audience With…, ITV1, 9pm

ITV really love the An Audience With… shows don’t they? Well, this is a round-up show which will show highlights from the programme’s 30 year history. In layman’s terms, that means we get to watch clips and memorable moments from Dame Edna Everage, the Spice Girls, Bob Monkhouse and Donny Osmond and the like.

Sunday: Don’t Stop Believing, Five, 7pm

Emma Bunton hosts a show that is not unlike X Factor (mixed with a dollop of Glee) to make either the most fun show ever made or, one of the most irritating, eye-gouging things to ever hit an airwave. The judging panel comprises of Anastacia, Tamzin Outhwaite, Duncan James and Charles ‘Chucky’ Klapow. What a weird bunch. You get to vote for shit.

Sunday: The Damned United, BBC Two, 9pm

Michael Sheen plays Brian Clough during the mind-melting weirdness of his 44-day tenure at Leeds United in 1974. David Peace’s masterpiece novel is lightened up somewhat for the screen (good thing too… the book is like Apocalypse Now! in the footballing world) leaving us to thrill at the devilish detail and a fine turn from Timothy Spall who plays Clough’s right-hand man, Peter Taylor. Like Brian Clough, this will make you laugh and cry.