Parents with newborn tend to be idiots. They bleat on about each bowel movement of their darling little offspring and present it to the world like their baby just shat a diamond encrusted skull. They coo at how their children cover the entire house in spaghetti hoops. Mercifully, most parents grow out of this hideous behaviour. But what of those that don’t? Welcome to My Child’s Big Fat Birthday Party (BBC One, Monday, 19 July, 10.35pm).

Some parents remain in some sickening parasitical existence, serving only as a feeder to their child’s every whim. We’ve seen these spineless runts immortalised in film, such as Roy Kinnear’s portrayal of the brow-beaten father of Veruca Salt.

If only these saps were merely a work of fiction.

This documentary following a bunch of hopless mums and dads who insist on lavishing gold on their children time and time again. This programme, obviously, focuses on birthdays.

What we’ll be treated to are birthday parties that would embarrass David Gest’s spare toilet. There’s no jelly, cake and 5-a-side/bouncy castle, but rather, ‘events’ that take months and months to plan that cost a small fortune.

All we’ll be required to do is tune-in and sneer at these little shits with their extravagant parties and hooting chums. A great way to unload some pent-up anger, primal scream therapy style.