There are lots of reasons to make you think the world is going mad… but none more mental than the continued televisual success of Piers Morgan. Not only did someone think it was a good idea to put him on the TV, but people keep on giving him more and more work! Now, America seems to have fallen for his… uh… charm.

Bafflingly, the pillow-faced cretin is poised to replace veteran talkshow host Larry King on US news channel CNN. If reports are to be believed, he’ll be getting £5.5m for four whole years of work.

Astonishing.

King announced his retirement last month with many thinking that the job would go to either (American Idol host) Ryan Seacrest or CBS News presenter Katie Couric. Weirdly, it seems that Piers Morgan will beat them all to it.

Maybe this is all down to the fact that CNN are getting a battering in the ratings war with Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News. As such, they need someone to scrape the barrel in competition with the braying weirdos they find for Fox… with added “oooh! Hasn’t he got THE most adorable British accent!”

Don’t celebrate just yet – the shows are recorded which means he’ll have loads of time to do his talent show stints and junkets for ITV like Piers Morgan Goes On Yet Another Luxury Trip Somewhere Sunny.