Big Brother 11 had set itself up to be an explosive, weird-filled funfest in which it would bow-out to the general public of Channel 4, perhaps serving as a reminder of what we could be missing. However, it hasn’t transpired as such and it is now slowly limping out of shot like a sick dog going to die under a hedge.

Big Brother has had to adopt something of a revolving door policy this time round with loads of people leaving with half-baked excuses and the like.

Caoimhe, Charlie Chaplette (Shabby) and Keeley all wimped off, leaving the door ajar for Laura who has now walked after a pathetic four days in the house. Some mayfly live longer than her stay on Big Brother.

Apparently, Laura walked out because she felt “overwhelmed” by the experience. She’s clearly mixing her words up. She meant ‘underwhelmed’.

This, of course, is on the back of walking bollock, John James, trying to leg it out of the house through the camera runs. His exit lasted all of two minutes before he returned to the housemates crying like a baby with a papercut.

Because the Big Brother experience is no longer a guaranteed shot at fame (or even a Nuts photoshoot), it seems that the housemates walk in and then suddenly realise that they’re locked in a house that no-one is really watching. Someone may as well switch the cameras off and leave the keys in the front door in case anyone fancies leaving a la Lucas on Eastenders.

It feels like there’s never been so many people leaving the house without the public vote. It also seems like we’ve never had so many new people thrown at the show after opening night. The producers must be depressed to the point of medication about it all.

Not that it matters to your average TV viewer. The interest in Big Brother cooled long ago (apart from the opening night when everyone tunes in to swear at the TV for an hour). The fact is, there’s no charming idiot or vampish bitch to tune-in for. Currently, we have some slightly thick people and some irritable sorts all shuffling around house like pensioners in a care-home.

Big Brother wanted to go out with dignity and sure enough, it is Dignitas bound.