The BT commercials are depressing and awful. The only good thing you can say about them is that they’re persistent. What kind of dribbling nincompoop sits down, watches this dithering shitfests and then gets back to BT to say how much they enjoy them… to keep up the good work? Are these people pining for a return of the Gold Blend ads? Am I inventing these people just to entertain my own bile duct?

Just when you think that people can’t make worse adverts than those seriously dreadful Halifax commercials, like clockwork, along comes the latest in the series of the most unrealistic family in history. Seriously. The BT family are further away from reality than The Munsters.

And so, after we’ve seen this hideous family booking holidays, annoying their parents and estate agents, not to mention dealing with a child with complaints so feeble that they should have told her an outrageous lie like “your father won’t speak to you because he’s ashamed of your spineless snivelling”, we now catch up with ‘Adam’ just hanging with his mates.

What does hanging around with his mates entail? Sitting around a laptop and strutting around like a crap Reservoir Dogs with WiFi connections.

That’s right. HAR HAR! ‘Adam’ pulls rank on his mates because he’s got, not only a better internet connection, but a more suave flat. His mate lives in a stinky bedsit with internet slower than growing grass whilst our ‘Adam’ has a sunlit professional wankpad, probably filled with plinths with iPod docks on and spotlights around Habitat bought pieces of mass-art.

The prick.