Why on Earth would anyone watch more than one episode of Supersize vs Superskinny (Channel 4, Tuesday, 13 April, 8pm). Okay, you might watch a handful by accident, in the hope that it’ll change in some way, but really, you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all, right?

Every time this show appears on-screen, you know exactly what is going to happen. They get a fat person and a thin person and make them swap diets. They make them take their clothes off and perform a shameless parade in beige underwear, inviting us to all coo and titter at the penny-peep show.

“Look at her ribs!” “Look at his massive greasy tits!”

Then, we sit and watch the thin one shovelling more food than they can cope with down their scrawny little necks whilst a salivating fattie sits across the table inhaling six Shreddies and wondering why someone would want to actively partake in this show by tuning in and breathing all the atmosphere in.

That’s the meat and potatoes of the show. Elsewhere, we get to see Anna Richardson Being One Of Us.

Essentially, this means we’re treated to a woman who is concerned about her slightly wobbly thighs – eh girls? Of course, this is a mixed message. Anyone staring at the TV screen can see that Richardson is by no means fat, nor minging. This presumably leaves people with real weight/image problems either sneering at the television and shouting “Pah! There’s nothing wrong with you!” or, worse still, weeping uncontrollably at the sight of a perfectly healthy woman cooing about an imagined porkery, leaving them to feel like the whole notion of shaping up is futile and that they may as well shunt gateaux into their wailing, sagging mouths.

Weirdly though, what no-one seems to want to point out is, that while Richardson is aiming to be the person who winks at us whilst saying: “It’s not fair that us women should be made to feel bad about our shapes” when she was the one who produced You Are What You Eat, a show that featured the crooked skeleton of Gillian McKeith… a woman who was more than happy to stand in the street shouting “OI YOU! YOU FAT SLOB!”

And Richardson wonders where the obsession with image comes from!

Basically, Supersize vs Superskinny isn’t so much a helpful programme, but rather, a show that makes us stare at two extremes like a magic eye picture and, lo and behold, an hour later, it’s revealed to you:

This is all bullshit.