Private schools – Idiot factories aren’t they? I say this, partly, because I’m jealous of the swine that attended them. I bet they had really cool teachers and learned all manner of interesting stuff whilst I was idly sticking maggots down the gas-taps in the science labs (don’t ask). As I’m from a family that would be described as ‘poor’ (not that I was destitute… but TV spods would probably think so), I would’ve been an ideal candidate for Education Lottery show, Too Poor for Posh School
(Channel 4, Thursday, 11 March, 9pm).

Annual fees for these gated brains can cost as much as £30,000. Some people aren’t even allowed the chance to dream of money like that. They wouldn’t even be allowed to write that figure down on a scrap of paper and stare admiringly at it.

That’s where scholarships come in. With any luck, someone like Peter Beckwith (the man funding a scheme for two boys a year to attend Harrow School in north London) comes in.

So, Cutting Edge follows the selection process for the Beckwith Scholarships with eleven shortlisted boys visiting the school for a day of weird tests and daunting interviews. Of course, it’ll all be austere halls full of history and rugs that would cost more to buy than, say, the liver I’m currently hosting.

As a result, we meet smart children and, of course, the occasional pushy parent. Both of these things are a godsend for documentary makers and seeing as this is being made by the Cutting Edge team, it should make for excellent telly.

This will be a must-see.