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Commercial Break: The hateful ‘accidental duet’

By johnberesford on March 16th, 2010 2 comments

match duet.jpgRomance in commercials should be banned. Banned or shot at. Then bricked. The whatever is left should be burned. Shoot the embers for good measure. Y’see, ‘love’, budding or otherwise, is the trickiest thing to pin down. Musicians have been trying to catch it in a jar and sell it for years. Mostly failing too.

So just when I thought that nothing would outdo the syrupy horseshit of the Häagen-Dazs commercial, with those two morons tentatively touching hands whilst suspended above a theatre performance like lovelorn buckets of pig blood about to topple onto Carrie, along comes the commercial to puke sugar down your eyes.

Picture this. Two lonely sorts walk into a shop. They start messing about on their respective instruments, accidentally syncing up because to-ing and fro-ing before awkwardly biting their lips at what just happened. Not a euphemism I hope.

Of course, side-stepping the part where I say: If this was the real world, idiot musicians would tentatively tinkle their instruments before one stopped and said “What key are we doing this in?” and then, ultimately, end up arguing about whether it needs a hook or not.

Yeah… sidestepping that, not only are these two twerps the most twee humans in history, and thereby, more likely to bond on a Belle and Sebastian chatroom before sending awkward and semi-naked pictures to each other online before doing precisely nothing about it other than making half-plans to go to some crappy hummous fest like The Green Man.

Naturally, this makes the mockery of the very thing these singing-dicks are selling – It’s a dating site (if you didn’t know), which presumably works under the pretence that you’re more likely to find someone to mate with in a pool of singletons than you are existing in online places filled with people with similar interests… even if your interests are “Godfarver Free” or, being “somewhat impulsive”, yet not impulsive enough to do anything without adding the get-out clause of ‘somewhat’.

It’s in Match’s interest to show off single life as a hazy, romantic place filled with music and thickening pulses… however, if they wanted to really show their wares, then they should really have one woman being inundated with requests from fat widowed men or, men faced with automated ‘check out this cam’ replies from speculative punts on women obviously too young and too pretty.

None of the above are’s fault per se, but y’know, a bit of realism in the advert would have been nice, no matter how crushing and depressing it is.

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  • Lee

    So you want realism? I’ve an idea – how about turning off the idiot box and opening your front door? You’d be amazed at just how much realism you’ll find out there.

    It’s an advert! Have you nothing better to do than whine about something created with the sole purpose of selling a product, regardless of how syrupy twee or lacking in realism it actually is?

    You say it lacks true life grit, but show me any advert outside the realms of the “Had an accident?” genre that do. are trying to sell a product and they aren’t going to do that by showing a plain-looking thirtysomething woman sat in front of a computer in her dingy flat, wading through reams of offers from fat, balding, sweaty blokes whilst troughing her way through another tub of Ben & Jerry’s, are they?

  • Belinda

    Well said Lee!

    It’s sad how people cannot make the distinction between fiction and reality any more.

    Any business that advertises on TV or in magazines uses gimmicks, and that is what has done. Why does it have to be “true life”? Why can’t it be a little unrealistic, hell the magazines sell us airbrushed and photo shopped images every day, so why can’t a dating site sell a soppy romance?

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