I've said some dreadful things about people on these pages in the name of getting a cheap laugh. Horse-whippings, public humiliation... that sort of thing. Most of the time, I don't mean it and it all unfurls like an elaborate joke to make me look like the biggest idiot of them all. However, sometimes I do mean it... and that's usually when my target is someone who thrills in the public humiliation of others. As soon as someone does that, they're fair game for the most horrible things I can dream up. Step forward Jason Gardiner from Dancing on Ice.

Jason Gardiner is a man who previously gave me hope. You see, seeing as he's staggeringly unqualified to be a judge on an ice-skating competition, what with his background being dancing about like a tit on stage, I saw this as my own version of the American Dream. If Gardiner can by paid handsomely to slate things he has no idea about, then one day, someone might pay for me to go on the television and judge showjumping or something.

Then, this weekend, Gardiner showed that he hasn't been judging at all. He's been paid to sneer. No more, no less. So useless is Gardiner that you could replace him with a foam hand in the 'thumbs-down' position and get some drunk off the street to write swear-words on it. It'd have more charisma for a start as Gardiner showcases all the warmth of a penguin's ball-sack.

That, in itself, is not surprising. It's de rigueur for a format show to hire someone to be a nasty judge and blow raspberries at everyone and everything. However, what Gardiner is missing is that vital knowingness. As opposed to being a pantomime dame, he's actually just a bitter and cruel skidmark spreading misery about the underpants of television.

What's really got my goat is Gardiner's comments on this weekend's Dancing On Ice. After upsetting the clearly-in-need-of-a-hug Sharron Davies by saying she looked like she was 'possessed by a tree', he went one further by saying that she looked 'like faecal matter that won't flush - it goes around and around'.

Holly Willoughby stood by looking like someone had just slapped a puppy right in front of her, laughing.

Obviously, we shouldn't be surprised that this useless excuse for a human, whose sole purpose seems to flit between using up vital oxygen that proper people need and shrieking "ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!", said something like this... but we should be surprised if someone at ITV doesn't reward him with a P45 this week.

Whilst the 'game' of criticism is understood by many in and around TV (including taking bad reviews from people like me on the chin), sometimes, it's blindingly obvious when to pull back a little and lay off the abuse.

Basically, if there's a line in the sand that you should tread carefully around, it's looking someone in the eye, in person, and telling them that they remind them of a turd that won't flush down the toilet.

As the Telegraph's Neil Midgley pointed out in his vent against Gardiner, the BBC were dragged over hot coals over what happened with Andrew Sachs and, let's not forget the furore that surrounded Frankie Boyle's Mock the Week gag about swimmer Rebecca Adlington looking like someone seen in the back of a spoon.

While ITV doesn't have an equivalent to the BBC Trust as such... it doesn't need to proudly show off that it doesn't have any common decency either. The output of ITV is poor enough as it is without the inclusion of this vapid little drama queen spouting crass insults at a woman who clearly can't handle it.

You can only hope that Sharron uses that athletic body of hers to tear Jason Gardiner a new arse on next week's show... if he's still there.