The weekend is here. Are you pleased about that? To be honest, if I were you, I’d start making plans to get out of the house because looking at the listings, there’s not a great deal on. Friday is looking good, but if you don’t like sports, you should start booking reservations or eyeing up the pub.

Tonight: Michael Winner’s Dining Stars, ITV1, 9pm

Peevish, hooting claptrap Michael Winner goes to people’s house, eats their food and then slags them off. It’s going to make for horrible, compelling television.

Tonight: Legends: Dennis Wilson – The Real Beach Boy, BBC Four, 9pm

Here we have a tale about the coolest Beach Boy, Dennis Wilson. Basically, he was the hot one when they were upstarts and the pained rock star with a great beard and solo LP in later life. This’ll be a decent portrait of a tragic and intriguing man. The Manson family will make an appearance too.

Tonight: Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night, Channel 4, 10pm

Sigh.

Tomorrow: Six Nations Rugby 2010: England v Ireland, BBC One, 3.30pm

Being English with an Irish girlfriend, this should be good. You might not give a hoot about that so instead, you can gleefully stare at John Inverdale slight mullet as he hosts proceedings from Twickenham.

Tomorrow: Winter Olympics 2010, BBC Two, 7pm

Seeing as the coverage of this is on ’til 2am, one can only assume that something important is happening. Same goes for Sunday night as well.

Sunday: Match of the Day Live: League Cup Final, BBC One, 2pm

Gary Lineker shows off a bit of chest whilst introducing live coverage of the Carling Cup final from Wembley as Manchester United and Aston Villa contest the first major trophy of the season. He’s joined by Alan Hansen, Alan Shearer and Gareth Southgate.