The weekend is upon us once more and, if you don't have a job that makes you work weekends... or indeed, don't have a job at all, now's the time to go out and have fun with your friends. Why? Well, there's not a great deal on television this weekend that's worth raving about. Let's have a rummage through the scraps.

Tonight: Empire of the Seas: How the Navy Forged the Modern World, BBC Two, 9pm

Whoop! Yeah! This sounds like TV to par-tay to doesn't it? Of course it doesn't. It's difficult to get excited about anything involving Dan Snow and his nepotismic career. Anyway, what we have here is a look at the Royal Navy and naval techniques and, basically, it sounds boring as hell... but it might be good. It might be. It won't will it?

Tonight: Lady Gaga: Isle of MTV Live, Viva, 10pm

From one extreme to the other. Tonight you can watch a Lady Gaga gig and witness as the collective eye pops out on a stalk at the various strange outfits strut the stage.

Tomorrow: Six Nations Rugby: England v Wales, BBC One, 4.35pm

Yep, it's the start of the Six Nations this week. Coverage actually kicks off in the morning with Italy playing France, but for Limey, the big draw is at Twickenham where England meet Wales. Marvel at bone-crunching action and disgusting ears that look like vegetables.

Tomorrow: Heroes, BBC Two, 10pm

A show! That used to be good! Is it good anymore? WHO KNOWS? NO-ONE WATCHES IT ANYMORE!

Sunday: Around the World by Zeppelin, BBC Four, 9pm

Sadly, not following Led Zep on tour with the promise of riffs, naked women, blokes in drag and enough drugs to fell North America... no... this is 1929 and we follow a Graf Zeppelin that circumnavigated the globe. Basically, we get to look at the world of the roaring twenties and that was a fun time. This should be very pleasing viewing.

Sunday: Seven Ages of Britain, BBC One, 9pm

David Dimbleby fronts the kind of show that the BBC make better than anyone else. History, magnitude and all that good stuff - with the added bonus of being completely un-patronising!