Ball. Ball. Kick. Head. Score. Dive. Ball. Cheer. Moan. Tackle. Ball. Post. Head. Moan. Ball. Yep, that’s football taken care of right there. Why? Well, this week sees UEFA Champions League (ITV1, Wednesday, 24 February,
7.30pm) on TV in a game being contested by Inter Milan and Chelsea.

The Champion’s League can be a bit boring… however, we’re in the knockout bit of the competition which means no tarting around. You have matches to win and playing for draws is plain daft.

Of course, Chelsea won’t need much in the way of encouragement as their former (and best) boss is managing the opposition this week. Prepare yourself for some Jose Mourinho mind games.

His Inter side are currently doing very well in Serie A and boast a team full of ace players like the miser brute that is Javier Zanetti as well as Wesley Sneijder, Ricardo Quaresma and goal machine Samuel Eto’o.

Chelsea meanwhile are managed by Carlo Ancelotti, a legend of Inter’s most hated club, AC Milan. It’s all poised to be a great grudge match… which will invariably mean it ends up nil-nil.

Such is football.