Adverts. They’re horrible things. They try and sell you stuff when you were minding your own business. However, some are far more teeth grinding than others. Take, for example, the woeful WeBuyAnyCar.com TV commercial.

The first time I saw the advert, I went about drinking petrol and swallowing matches in the hope that my stomach would erupt through my nostrils and take my brain with it. Just to be on the safe side, I also closed my ears with an industrial stapler.

It was painful, but not as painful as watching the advert.

Obviously, I’m acutely aware of the fact that this dross has achieved its primary objective, which is to be post-modern and burrow a way into my psyche via annoyance (see also: those godforsaken GoCompare ads).

Very clever.

Coupling something as dreary as car vending with the kind of rave music you hear coming out of cars driven by little shitehawks who pay huge dividends on their insurance before burning in oily flames in accident blackspots, only to be later described as an angel by a grieving mother.

As you can see, this commercial has made me unnaturally angry.