The X Factor: Calvin Harris stage invasion, Brian May and bad taste charity single ahoy!

By johnberesford on November 16th, 2009 3 comments

Once again, The X Factor provided TV that tore your eyes outta your skull and launched them into the stratosphere. Explosions, ticker tape, giganto-rigs and… well… Queen. Yep. It was Queen Theme and once again, we were all reminded that, without Freddie Mercury, the Queen back catalogue sounds like a damp fart in already wet scads. Aside from Brian May appearing in his squash trainers and pubic hairdo, everyone was chattering about one thing… and that was a pineapple.

Calvin Harris ‘stormed’ the stage during Jedward’s performance of Who Cares Which Queen Song It Was Because After A While They All Sound The Same. Whilst Thing One and Thing Two sang and rapped, Harris popped up with a pineapple on his head… making me think that he was actually paying tribute to former Nottingham Forest striker Jason Lee.

Naturally, this move was met with some shock and some mirth.

However, whilst everyone chuntered on, the eyes were well and truly taken off the ball. Calvin Harris inadvertently distracted everyone from the fact that the latest X Factor charity single was in monumentally poor taste.

To raise money for sick and needy children, Cowell and Co. didn’t think it was odd to choose ‘You Are Not Alone’… a song written by R. Kelly and performed by Michael Jackson. There are two men who haven’t exactly had a good record when it comes to The Kids are they? Only a segue into a Gary Glitter song could’ve made it any worse.

You may think that all these thoughts take away from the point of the show… and that’s singing. But to assume that X Factor is a show about singing is, frankly, idiotic. The X Factor is as much to do with music as Pot Noodles are to do with food. They serve a purpose… a very basic, fun and slightly dirty purpose.

The show gyrated and bellowed over the weekend, sending Twitter into near meltdown and resulted in the perfect Bottom Two. Jamie Afro and Lloyd faced the chop and by God, everyone seemed pleased. Jafro saw the boot and Lloyd stood there like a default Sims character. That’s his role in life. To be the most generic human who ever lived. He’s clearly not long for this show.

And with Cheryl Cole once more cementing her place in the throne of Queen of 2009 with a “shurrup” to Simon and Louis, X Factor once again proves that, what Cowell lacks in musical taste, he makes up for in creating scintillating, crass television.

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Category: X-Factor
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Franco

Michael Jackson was proven innocent and has given hundreds of million to childrens charities. It was good enough then, even though people like yourself failed to notice it. I find it more concerning that you can not believe, even though the evidence is so overwhelming of his innocence, that someone can not simply love, care and adore children in a non sexual way. Extremely concerning on your behalf, I would question yourself.

Whats ridiculous is the kid actually admitted he lied to a teacher and morons choose to ignore it. Get a grip and stop writting vile articles on how wrong it is to release a charity single for an AMAZING cause by the most charitable man ever.
Gary

Show a bit of respect for the greatest music act ever – Queen! You’ve also got a cheek to slate people with a name like mof gimmers! Get a grip, you are such a wannabe! Bohemian Rhapsody widely recognised as the greatest song ever, just get a grip you pathetic loser!
Ed

I’ve just read this and am appalled, this is a disgusting article written by a complete git Mof Gimmers (if thats your real name, if it is you’re the biggest shit in the entire world). Lets get one thing straight, Queen are one of the biggest music artists ever, definitely top 5 even top 3 and you have just descried their masterpieces as ‘damp farts’, your pathetic and haven’t got a shred of the talent that all the members of Queen had in their skin cells. You then stoop as low to comment on Brian May’s appearance by using a pathetic and childish term to describe his hair. And then finally you say Who Cares Which Queen Song It Was Because After A While They All Sound The Same, if this is meant that the orginal verisons of the songs created by Queen all sound the same then i want to seriously punch you very hard in your face. The entire ideogology that Queen was created on was the different sounds, styles and genres incorporated into their work and that the idea of an eclecic approach to maing music, so trust me when i say this as i am extremly pissed, not one Queen song sounds the same as another!
And finally on the Michael Jackson cover, i completely agree with Franco that the man was innocent and it takes patheitc and vile article writers like yourself to gain attention by making these comments. The man was a legend and a genunine man that would have never hurt a fly let alone a child!