Fat Families is an imminent new six-part series that sees "straight-talking fat-loss expert" Steve Miller moving in with some rotund relatives. Like a new Gillian McKeith (we didn't need the old one, but there you go) he'll use a range of shock tactics in a bid to help them lose weight before they die.

The press release says:

"They might blame their genes, but Steve will discover that it's not genetics that's making these families fat - it's a world of entrenched habits and over-large portions that's left them suffering health problems including diabetes, asthma, and sleep apnoea. Steve will use his no-nonsense approach to help the years of denial come to an end, and make these six morbidly obese families recognise that things have got to change."

AKA Stating the obvious.

Research suggests that 25% of all adults and 16% of children in the UK are now classified as clinically obese. Steve believes mollycoddled Britons need to be told a few home truths if they are to live happier and healthier lives and avoid becoming part of this statistic. Moving in with a different family in each episode, Steve will attempt to break their bad habits and create a drastic plan of action.

Clearly, this will involve humiliating them by making them stand around in the undercrackers. They will cower and cover their ears as they are told that an entire nation of people are dry-heaving whilst they're on screen. Only at this point will they be broken enough to be blank mindedly suggestible and willing to do absolutely anything they're told.

Not only that, Steve will makeover the contributors' homes and arrange an intensive programme to transform the eating habits, behaviour and attitudes which helped them gain the weight in the first place. In order to guarantee they comply with his plan, Steve will be tagging the families with a special monitor that reports their progress 24/7. At the first sign of a lapse, he'll be on-hand to ensure that they won't be top of the 'Fatse index' again any time soon.

It sounds appalling doesn't it?

Steve Miller commented: "I'm tired of people moaning that they can't lose weight. No more faddy diets, no more excuses, it's time to get tough. My common sense approach to weight loss will hopefully find our contributors finally being able to turn around years of frustration and lose the weight they so desperately need to."

Jesus Christ.