To be perfectly honest, I can’t ever see Big Brother 10 ending. It feels like it has been on the box for a thousand years and potential winners will come away from the house screaming like a punched howler monkey, attacking the sign wielding hordes and hurling handfuls of faeces at Davina. Or maybe they’ll just end up working for This Morning. Anyway, on Friday the 4th of September 2009, BB10 will finally leave our screens… begging the question: ‘Who Do You Want To Win?’

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Of course, the real question is ‘Do You Even Care About This Failing Format Anymore?’ but that’s a whole other article. Fact is, we’ve got seven housemates left and ten days in which to get rid of a load, before holding one up, aloft, as the winner of some money and the popularity claimer of the three people still tuning in.

If you need a recap, here’s who is left:

First up, we have Charlie. Charlie is a former Mr Gay UK or something and is surely the odds on to win? He seems pleasant enough and not at all trapped in the mindset of needing to win this thing for acceptance elsewhere. Unlike our David who has a head like a half peeled turnip and is as camp as Christmas.

Then we have Lisa. She’s gobby despite her complete lack of anything to actually offer the world. The kind of person you see at illegal raves, foaming at the nostrils to some Goa Trance and profoundly exclaiming that, if God exists, then the church is the free party, the dancefloor her altar. Of course, this is the first clue that she’s an absolute ass of a human.

Then we’ve got Marcus who looks like a prototype Wolverine action figure that got chucked in the reject bin with the Raggydolls. Once heard on a live-feed saying “I’ve got the girth… that’s why she bled” despite the fact that absolutely everything about him reeks of never having slept with a woman, but rather, spent most of his time in Games Workshop reeking of Brut.

Rodrigo meanwhile, the Latin Davy Jones from The Monkees is another favourite to win the show, by virtue of the fact that He Seems Nice. Of course, his lobbing bottles at heads and poking folk in the face suggests otherwise.

Sophie, once called Dogface, has tottered around the Big Brother house and surprised many thanks to her, y’know, being human. Sure, her breasts don’t back up that fact, but she wasn’t the Queen Bitch many had hoped. With a glassy, half-dead look in her eye, she probably won’t win… she will, however, no doubt be in Nuts magazine again, nipple to nipple with another former housemate.

Now. Siavash. Surely the odds-on favourite to win. He looks kinda kooky and had his heartbroken by Noirin, who still manages to puzzle me as to why anyone would want to swap bodily fluids with her. Maybe that’s why Siavash is so well liked. People want to mother him and tickle his beard. He’s a cert, isn’t he?

So there you have it. A ragtag bunch of people that most have managed to completely forget, despite the scant few left clinging to the show like barnacles to a sinking ship. Who do you want to win out of them all? Go on. Tell us.