What sort of goon watches Torchwood? Is it the sort of fluffy fool who likes to gurgle “it’s was transformed when Russell T. Davies got involved!” because it’s the kind of thing a child wouldn’t say, which makes Whovians feel better about watching what is effectively a slightly frightening kid show? I imagine fans of the Doctor Who franchise also like reading Harry Potter books and mewing about how they like a bit of ‘escapism’ now and again. Pah. You can ‘escape’ with a paper bag and some super glue as well…
Related: Day I review | Day II review | Day III review
Having watched a bulk of the episodes, I’m still completely nonplussed as to why people bother tuning in. For a start, it features John “pound shop Tom Cruise” Barrowman ferchrissakes. How low do you want it? He was the third best presenter of crap CBBC gameshow, The Movie Game and that includes the posh one from Bread.
Last night’s show reminded me how dreary the show is. It was like tuning into Buffet The Vampire Cart. The baddies made me laugh though. I mean, hilariously, they were seemingly named after a Steps song (’5,6,7,8′ or whatever it was) and their super power was… g-g-g-get this… they c-c-could make children… p-p-p-point! ARGH! Terrifying my arse.
Even the wonderful Peter Capaldi looks clunky and rubbish in Torchwood. We saw him talking to what seemed like an end-of-level baddie who sounded like Phyllis from Corrie curling one out in the bath. “Eee, we’ve come fer’ take over t’world Percy love…”
The whole thing, from first ever episode to present, is so cheap and piss-thin that it feels like you’ve tuned into CBBC Late-Night. Cheapo cameras follow people sat in what tends to look like The Future Zone from The Crystal Maze. The collective equipment looks like someone went down to Cash Generator and stuck a load of stickers over the brand logos of defunct technology.
The acting is bad, the storylines are awful and the who thing reeks of people trying to justify it to themselves so they don’t feel pretty stupid for buying into a show that’s less edgy than a kitten snoozing in buttercups. As for the swearing and sex… that just adds to the clunkiness and is more akin to Fred from Scooby Doo doing a Calvin Klein boxers shoot rather than adding another dimension.
So go on… admit it… Torchwood is a big pile of poo in the listings and you’re the flies buzzing around it.
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Im not a sci-fi fan so don’t watch it but im not foolish enough to knock it like you. I was reading in the Guardian that it reached 6 million viewers so its obviously got a very sizable fan base. This site just gets more immature as time goes by. ‘mofgimmers’ emmbarased himself here I sense.
I’m curious as to what Darren perceives to be so foolish about knocking Torchwood. Is there a deadly consequence I don’t know about? Do these children with funny voices really exist?!
I would usually agree with you but this series has been really good!! I’ve been glued to it
can’t wait til tonight
are you just writieng an article to get a reaction, peopel like you are why tvscoop has and never be taken seriously as a tv blog site
Actually I would have agreed with you when I first started watching Torchwood… because I imagine the budget for first season was obviously much less then it is now. However since I did get sucked in and since my taste in telly is much less high brow then yours I do think third season is really good. Even the acting is not AS bad as it was. And the scenes are more slick and whathaveyou. When I compare it to Supernatural (which also does not have much doodahs etc) well Supernatural is much creepier so it’s not like it cannot be done with small budget.
Then again if we are being honest – Dr. Who, Red Dwarf, the lot of them it’s not rocket science is it? It’s just a bit of mindless telly, why so serious?
And for the record I love Harry Potter
“I’m curious as to what Darren perceives to be so foolish about knocking Torchwood. Is there a deadly consequence I don’t know about?”
Presumably that people who are fans of the show won’t continue to read the blog. Which may or may not matter, depending on how many of them there are who currently read it.
Personally I’m coming to the view that Mof has a Wheel Of Fortune-style wheel emblazoned with the names of television programmes in his front room, and periodically gives it a spin to decide what show is an affront to television and the WORST THING EVER.
Just remembered why I normally skip the reviews and stick to the news stories.
So tiresome…we get it, mofgimmers, we get it.
It’s “sitting”, not “sat”. I take no issue with your opinion of Torchwood – from what I’ve seen, it’s not of a quality suitable for BBC prime-time, but could make a passable children’s/teen drama – but what really gets my goat is people without a proper grasp of grammar being paid for their “writing”. Standards, anyone? If I had a pound for every “gotten” I’ve read on this site…and the spelling mistakes have been rising sharply recently. Don’t get defensive, I (sometimes) enjoy TV Scoop (…can’t think of many recent examples), but could you possibly proof-read before you post..? Wouldn’t you rather be more ‘Telegraph’ than ‘TV Times’? Y’know, the kind of journalism that isn’t written like a transcript of overbearing, blokey bar-stool banter? (Mind you, I haven’t read the Telegraph’s review section recently…)
Hmmmm, intiristing repli Ima. I’ve gotten a great deel of pleshure from contribiting to this sight and reeding all the risponsses. And, u no, its all about the opinion on hear. A transcript of overbearing, blokey bar stool banter? What’s wrong with that? I’m not going to get too defensive Ima, I’m happy for you to come along and throw in your two-pennies worth. However, this site is written colloquially and for fun. We’re not trying to be proper journalists here – just providing opinions on what we’ve watched and what we might watch, and then encourage people to get involved in the debate. I wouldn’t want the site to turn into something as staid as The Telegraph, but I get your point. Quality is all important.
It could be worse. We could be watching Big Brother.