Judging doesn't get any more stylised than this! This, being Celebrity Masterchef (BBC One, Wednesday, 1 July, 8pm) which, for reasons that haven't made themselves clear in my mind yet, hasn't managed to capture my imagination this year. Still that said, it's got its own high expectations to live up to and this week, after three weeks of some inspired cooking... and of course, some glaring cock-ups (green pancake) Gregg and John are set to virtually sit in each others laps, pondering loudly at each others eyeballs about the six remaining celebrity chefs left in the Masterchef examination room/kitchen. Down to six? Yep. It's semi-final time.

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So, now the semi-final is upon us, the hyperbole needs to be cranked up even more than previous weeks. Now we won't be merely looking for a 'great cook' but something along the lines of The Greatest Cook Who Ever Lived, Someone Who Is Going To Make Heston Blumenthal Kill Himself and This Has To Be More Momentous Than The Last Supper Or Else We Kill John Craven!

Naturally, our remaining slebs need a challenge or two flung their way, and this week, we get to see the unenviable task of cooking a two-course meal for 30 schoolchildren. Y'know. Those horrible little buggers who stick peas up their nose and fling handfuls of mash at you because your food is disgusting.

We'll have the whole professional kitchen schtick as well and the appearance of food critics and... you know the score by now. People will start to crack and Gregg will growl and grit his teeth in between courses which he'll hoover down like someone who has just been released from a hostage situation. Torode? He'll continue to look like a recovering drug addict.*

It'll all be good, familiar fun.

*Please note. John Torode is not a recovering drug addict. He just looks a bit like one and it'll do for a lazy joke in a TV preview.