Advertising people, by and large, are not cool people. Rich, yes. Cool, no. I briefly worked in advertising and thankfully for me, they were all so lost in their own little bubbles that I was able to skive for roughly 6 months without detection AND I never once had to go on the lash with some suits from Northern Rock. That’s because advertisers tend to think of themselves as ‘creatives’ as opposed to ‘shills’. The newest run of commercials for Pizza Hut only serve to underline this.

Related: More Commercial Break things here

Pizza Hut think they’re clever. They are trying to get their crappy, stodge gloop product into common parlance. Like ‘Hoover’ means ALL vacuums, like sellotape means ALL sticky-tape, like Googling means doing just about any internet search… Pizza Hut are trying to make themselves the catch-all for pizzas. How? They’re doing this by their infuriating “Hut?” schtick.

Simple fact of the matter is, McDonalds didn’t end up being called Maccy D’s or the Golden Arches by dumb advertising execs placing the word in adverts. They’re smart enough to know that it simply doesn’t work. Crowbarring invented slang slides off the Teflon and into the sink.

We’ve seen it in the internet world with the infuriating Bing thing… with some corporate tart of a man saying “Hur hur, it kinda sounds good doesn’t it? ‘Will you Bing that over to me?’ Hur hur” These things never take off because, no matter how covert, you’re still being told to do it. Not only that, you’re being told by a bloke in a suit jacket and a pair of stone washed denims. You will never take the advice of someone who looks like they might listen to Celine Dion and Razorlight in their 4×4.

These things tend to happen naturally… they come to pass because said products are so omnipotent that it’s hard to reprogramme your own brain. You know damn well that not every MP3 player in the world is an iPod, but it’s more catchy than what the product is… EM-PEE-THREE-PLAYER… it’s so clunky.

Unlike the word “pizza”.

“Hut” is the sound that’s made just before someone chucks an American football through their legs, which you catch and then a load of blokes in helmets try to break your pelvis into crumbly agony.

A lot of commercials completely pass me by as, like many I suspect, I’ve now developed a filter which cancels out the hard sell. When I do look up, occasionally I’ll see this monumental irritant cheerily saying “Hut?” The latest is some woman who is unable to communicate with her family because they’re all busy, so she cuts the electric and shouts that annoying syllable, which unfathomably sees everyone running into her arms.

Mums and dads are not cool. If they ask their kids to go for a meal, the kids tend to try and get out of it so they can have the house to themselves for a bit, probably to watch mucky videos and be annoyed that no girls are able to come round at short notice. If my mum said “hut?” to me, my muttered answer would probably be “God, you’re so lame… no-one says that… god…”.

So there you have it. Pizza Hut. As hip as filling out insurance forms.