It's pretty obvious to anyone who has tuned into Big Brother 10 that it's hardly been a vintage year. From the live launch to present, the most startling thing that's happened is... what exactly? We've had a very brief row... um... we've had a little kissy-wissy... Saffia was mind-numbingly predictable in her wish to run off and smother her babies and... that's about it. One potential talking point concerns Angel who is showing all the signs of someone having an eating disorder. As yet, I'm not sure anyone is doing much about it. So while she's effectively left to starve and the rest continue to preen and paw, Big Brother will invariably be hatching the most crushingly obvious scheme known to man. I'm pretty certain that BB will be preparing to launch a new housemate at the direction of those that already serve.

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When things don't go well in the Big Brother house, they always rely on one of two things: New people and booze. Get 'em drunk and they'll do all the things people do when drunk, except that they'll do it in a well-lit room with a load of TV viewers staring at them. It's a pretty safe bet.

When that doesn't work, they send in the new people, which means we have to endure an absolute cartoon of a human. Channel 4 are invariably looking at a line of people and trying to work out which one will shake things up the most. They'll be trying to work out what kind of person will cause cracks in the collective psyche.

The people who are causing the most noise at the minute are Lisa and Sree. Lisa is loud in only the way someone who is has a mohawk and their own seat saved at the dole office can be and Sree... jeez... where to start. He's occupying some weird headspace that is incredibly uncomfortable to watch.

The Kris/Dogface thing dribbles onward with all the thrill of watching an old person trying to get their cat to come and sit on their knee. Karly, the other bit of eye-candy has emerged as the only one with anything that resembles mental strength and backbone. In essence, she's not being broken by the show... but by God, I wouldn't like to see her flip.

Which makes me think that she'll the angle BB will look at. This leaves us with two different two-dimensional options. We'll either get a glamorous über bitch or, we'll get a spunky bloke to come and drench the collective knickers. I would've thought A New Boy is most likely... and quite possibly, someone who is bisexual, to give Charlie some tail to chase.

Personally, I'd like to see some lady comic book collector with massive boobies and braces on her teeth to see what Marcus would do. I like the idea of His Ideal Woman walking through the door and him dropping this faux-macho guard to show his real colours, which is the kind of man who sits at home playing World of Warcraft and painting little lead figures whilst talking to them in a voice normally saved for one's children. If anyone would have an erupting mental breakdown after being spurned between the legs, it's him.

There's an awful air of predictability that A New Housemate is going to happen... and probably very, very soon. So here's to hoping that Big Brother chooses someone left of the centre as opposed to yet another gym-bunny in a thong.