A while back, I did a random post of women I’ve fancied off the telly. Of late, I’ve been daydreaming about the TV lady of a certain vintage. Yep, it’s horribly outdated of me to objectify women like this, but y’know, what do you expect on a slow news day like this? I’ll revert to type, which is obviously something akin to a ’70s sitcom. Don’t worry, I won’t start telling jokes about ‘the blacks’. Fact is, the young, nubile women on the box at the minute make me heave. Fearne Cotton? Alexa Chung? I’d rather drill the irises of my eyes. No, there’s a certain age of lady that exudes a certain, unquantifiable something that makes me wish I was an older man who might stand a chance of wooing them… but who are they?

Related: Top 5 women I’ve fancied from the telly

1. Anna Ford

Anna Ford. Homenahomena. Ms Ford was just another newsreader to me once, then, I saw some old clip of her singing a protest song from the ’60s, looking like a million bucks. My head rewired and *BAM*, I got a stupid crush that I couldn’t shake loose. She gets even cooler when you consider that she once went out with The Coolest Newsreader On The Box, Jon Snow. Whaddagal!

2. Germaine Greer

Some people give you the jitters because of something undefinable. Our Germaine is one of them for me. She strikes me as the kind of woman who could whisk you upstairs (or anywhere they fancied basically) and make a real man of you. Yep, our Germaine may not like being objectified in this manner, but it’s only the same as when she dribbled all over ‘Linford’s Lunchbox’ on TV once. This is payback. Germaine, show me your wicked ways! I kinda fancy Prue Leith for the same reasons.

3. Claire Huxtable

Phylicia Rashād, who played Claire Huxtable in The Cosby Show is appallingly good looking. I still fancy her now, despite the fact she married one of The Village People. That’s actually true. She married the ‘cop’. She’s still stupidly lovely to look at. Yowzers!

4. Honor Blackman

Honor Blackman has always been fit. Always. She’ll probably make the most attractive corpse ever. While most people of her generation (what is she? 80+?) have mangled their faces and ill-advisedly had botox, leaving them looking like melted sofas, Honor just preens around lookin’ all kindsa gorgeous.

5. Susan Kennedy from Neighbours

Will any Neighbours man-fan ever forget the scene when Susan was caught out, naked behind a hedge after skinny dipping with Karl? Not me. Susan has been the dream older woman for many people I know… and despite the many internet rumours, she is not in fact covered in militant lesbian tattoos. Anyway, back to admiring the pictures (which you can click on to enlarge).

Now, I think Rebecca or Anna should provide balance by posting their top silver foxes…

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