This article is change to the listings. You will now find the review of Hell's Kitchen on TV Scoop 2 at a later date...

Yep. Initially, I was going to cover Hell's Kitchen. I was going to talk about who won and how it all unfolded, presumably with a few crass jokes and some lame comment about that thing on Marco Pierre White's head. However, as I was out celebrating a mate's birthday last night, I didn't manage to catch it live and on the box, instead, choosing to rely on the new-and-improved ITV Player. What a dummy. The fact is, ITV Player doesn't really work... and for many, many reasons. It's obvious why ITV needed to create a catch-up service because the BBC iPlayer is such a rousing success. Sadly, ITV don't seem to have thought it through properly.

My relationship with ITV's online catch-up has been anything but smooth running. For a start, it's not immediately obvious how to find shows on it. Okay, granted, it's not exactly eye-surgery difficult, but it's not exactly user-friendly. You can get lost trying to find what it is you want to watch (and, quite often, the show you actually want to view isn't even included on it, thus making the whole experience redundant and slightly infuriating).

Worse still is the clunky way in which you watch shows on the bloody thing. I clicked 'play' on last night's Hell's Kitchen and after a few adverts (annoying, but necessary) I was in. Sadly, the picture was so blocky and grainy that I felt like someone had recreated huge chunks of the show with a Sega Master System. The sound had the life squashed out of it with dreadful digital compression, giving me the notion of having half my ear in a pool of sludge.

Even poorer than that is what happens if you accidentally navigate away from a page. This morning, I did exactly that. When you accidentally press 'back' or whatever in iPlayer, your return to the show is pretty much where you left off. Very nice indeed. No need for alarm.

However, on the ITV Player, you have to sit through all the adverts and then it hangs, frozen and limps. Yep. You can't fast-forward to the place you left off at. You have to FFWD to one break... watch them... FFWD to another break... watch them as well... then, I got to the break before my erroneous click, watched the commercials and then... nothing.

I was faced with a still of some crappy advert for Next, with this pair of robotic humans staring me out. They won... I lost. I ended up throwing punches at my laptop and clicking away for good.

The fact is, ITV Player is a buggy, glitchy crock of guff that consistently fails to work smoothly and properly, adding credence to my nagging thought that, when it comes to new media, ITV simply don't have the foggiest. As such, I've no idea who won Hell's Kitchen (although I'm sure I can find out easily enough should I wish), how they won it, who stabbed who... basically, I'm missing out on the entire point of all those people putting the effort in to make a TV show.

With people spending increasingly less time in front of the box when switched to '3', you get the horrible feeling that they might go out of business if they don't sort things like this out, and now.