Until Strictly comes back in the autumn, we’ll have to make do with Dancing With The Stars (you can see it in this country on Watch, every Friday at 9pm). Originally, it looked as though they had gathered together a decent batch of celebs. I say originally because now almost half of the line-up has now suffered some sort of injury. I wasn’t aware the show was operating a bench system, but I guess it has to or there will be no one left to compete. So who are the fallen and why is this happening?

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First we heard that singer type person Jewel had broken both of her legs during rehearsals. BOTH HER LEGS? What kind of rehearsals were they? Rehearsals for extreme tip toeing? Rehearsals for smacking one’s shins with a hammer? Naturally the poor mite had to take it easy, rest up and ditch the dancing. She was replaced by a Playboy model, which is a great shame for everyone.

Then there was Sex And The City person Gilles Marini. He did his shoulder in but is still soldiering on. Apple co-fromage Steve Wozniak fractured a bone in his foot and now has to wear a brace to compete (he won’t last too long though, judging by his scores). Nancy O’Dell (no, me neither) has also retired because of injury.

The latest walking wounded is Jackass jack-arse Steve-O. Now, over the years Steven has given his body some right old stick (all for shits and giggles), but it looks as though the demon ballroom dancing is the thing that has finally smacked him. He fell over in rehearsal, which isn’t uncommon. Trouble is he fell onto his mic pack and did himself in. Unable to compete, the judges scored his rehearsal footage instead. He says he’ll be back, but who knows?

With this multitude of injuries I’m asking myself what kind of regimes is ABC putting these people through, or is it a case of celebrities being weaker than we thought. It’s interesting to note that the BBC will be launching a wheelchaired version of Strictly later this year, where the contestants will, no doubt, put the fragility of this shower into some serious perspective.