The many wrongs of David Van Day (Or: How DVD dumped his girlfriend live on the telly)

By johnberesford on March 24th, 2009 0 comments yet. Be the First

Only in our modern televisual world could David Van Day exist. TV has always had wrong ‘uns, but I’m not sure that they’ve been as messed up and downright tragic as Van Day. Once upon a time, Van Day was nothing more than that bloke who sang pop songs. That’s all he was. A thing to occupy the trace of a melody. Now, he’s forging a career out of car-wreckages, like those ’50s snappers who made their money from dead teenagers in Cadillacs, as glorified by Andy Warhol. Now, David Van Day has outdone himself by dumping his girlfriend, live and on-air, on a show barely a soul watches.

Until recently, David Van Day was pretty much a nobody. A person to be filed alongside Nick Kamen and Chesney Hawkes, only ever held aloft by the uselessly ironic. The kind of people who appear on ‘I [Heart] 1984′ to talk about Soda Streams and She-Ra.

Then, after his already faint star had dimmed to nothing more than a bad memory, he appeared in the national conciousness once more when the tabloid press declared “Burger Van Day” after they found out that this tragic individual was working in a burger van in Brighton.

The slightest of whiffs of stardom and Van Day was off. He appeared on our screens in ITV1 reality show Reborn in the USA, where he ensured his place in our brains by picking fights with Sonia before reappearing on I’m a Celebrity… Get Me out of Here!

In both of these shows, Van Day realised that he could forge something that resembled a career out of being an absolute arsehole to everyone he came across. On GMTV, he appeared with a fly-swat and frazzled and jangled everyone’s nerves to the point of cigarettes. He appeared on a show that ensured he’d get some plastic surgery, leaving his face shiny and gleaming like week-old ham. I’ve convinced myself that Van Day leaves residue when he walks, just like the toast sweat you get on the kitchen counter.

And now? Well, DVD has now dumped his girlfriend live on The Wright Stuff. Don’t believe me? Watch the video below and breathe in the disdain from the studio as he does it…