I was planning on reviewing Gossip Girl today, but as last night’s episode was so shockingly dull, I don’t want to bore you. Nothing happened. There was almost some plotting, almost some sex and almost a scandal, but really there was nothing even vaguely exciting. The shiny shiny Gossip Girl just isn’t doing it for me at the moment. Why? Here are my five reasons why I think it’s losing its shimmer.
1. The characters are meant to be 17-years-old. I know I should just try and suspend belief, but they’re kids! Kids! Chuck Bass is running around in a suit buying burlesque clubs, Serena whassername is prancing around without underwear on… stop it! Start acting like children! Gossip Girl might be believable if the actors playing them didn’t look like they were in their mid twenties.
2. The voiceover is rubbish. It’s the smug little voiceover that keeps getting to me. There’s something about the voice that grates on my nerves. It makes the vague notion of an anonymous blog just even more difficult to believe. If I hear ‘XOXO’ once more I might not watch again. I’m being serious.
3. Dan Humphrey Now, I get the rest of the cast being vacuous shallow little human beings, but the writers have brought the Dan Humphrey character in so everyone can relate to the show. He’s just like you and me! He doesn’t really like the rich people either! Except he does, and he’s madly in love with one and follows her about like a little puppy. His presence just isn’t as ironic it’s supposed to be.
4. The parents. Who are these people? They let their kids drop out of school, and they admit to gold-digging. They wear dresses without a bra! They let their kids be Blair Waldorf. Awful, horrible people. I’m just not buying it. Don’t kids get grounded anymore? Maybe not, but they just aren’t allowed to get away with things like this, no matter how much money they have. Are they?
5. The sponsor advert. I’m sorry, but Insolence? Insolence? Why would you want to buy a perfume called Insolence?
The glamour of the show might just have worn thin for me. I want to love it, but it’s… just not that good anymore.