TV Review: Coleen’s Real Women, ITV2, Tuesday 10 February, 9pm


I can’t stand WAGs. Standing about, getting your tits out for Nuts magazine and then drinking endless glasses of champagne in a rubbish club is not a job. Unless they get a cut from Heat Magazine’s profits. But Coleen Rooney is different. She’s not your average WAG and Coleen’s Real Women seems to support this. I can’t imagine Posh presenting a show like this, can you? It’s a good attempt though, despite it being a blatant vehicle for Coleen. Even if it is just a little too good to be true.

Coleen’s Real Women shows Coleen on a quest to find just that. She has major high street brands (er… H.Samuel in this case) and she needs to find a real woman to go for a modelling job against the ‘Real Models’. Coleen uses that phrase so much it’s quite insulting – “Yous are up against real models. We need to find out what makes you special because yous aren’t real models.”

But, the women she chooses, are short, tall, fat, thin, and you know what? I think she believes in the cause she’s fighting for. She wants normal girls to do something brilliant and believe in themselves a bit more. Aaaaah, ain’t that nice?

Seeing as the pretty girls weren’t ‘Real models’ they got to do fun things like acting, and being a fool for the camera – basically anything to hide the fact that they weren’t waif-like six foot giants. Goofing about with a mime artist was all they had to do. This wasn’t America’s Next Top Model. It was all a little twee. Thousands of people had applied for the show, but you didn’t get to see them as Coleen had whittled them down to 60 before the show even started. Seeing a few more rubbish auditions might have made the show a bit more real. Did anyone hideous apply? Was the girl with horrific acne turned away? Or were some girls turned away just for being too normal? We’ll never get to know, because that doesn’t fit with the show’s squeaky clean image.

Coleen chose three girls to be in the ‘final’ who are all so bloody stunning that they look like models anyway. The photo shoots looked like the kind of shoot a singer or an actress might do for The Times. Not exactly ‘modelly’ but still damn pretty. Ashley, the girl who actually did win a modelling job (in Paris no less) was beautiful. I’d have killed for her cheekbones.

And that’s the problem with this show. It’s not that I have anything against the pretty girls, but the point of this show stops being about ‘Real Women’ and changing the views of the fashion world. Instead it’s finding a brand who benefit from having an unconventional model, but don’t have to compromise on prettiness. By then, the lukewarm sentiment has gone a little bit colder.

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