After the E4 special last week, I really wasn’t looking forward to the start of 90210. It didn’t look… real. And the two hour (two!) episode didn’t disappoint. Instead, it devastated and depressed and almost sent me to sleep. There’s two hours of my life I won’t get back. If you didn’t watch and you’re wondering what you missed, I wouldn’t worry too much.

If this show was hoping to become a big Gossip Girl-esque hit, it missed the mark, by a long shot. Instead, it’s more High School Musical than anything else. If that’s your thing, then great, but I’ll bet that it loses half its potential audience by doing it. Gossip Girl appeals to young and old, 90210 was just too immature for me to pay attention. Do I care that the pretty new girl got a part in the school musical? Or that someone’s blog got them into trouble? What about the bitchy prom queen being cheated on? Not one little bit.

The old cast that they roped in weren’t shockingly bad. in fact, Kelly was the most convincing character in the show, despite the tenuous notion of her being a guidance counsellor. They were there to draw back old fans of the show. Yes, old people in their twenties like me! We’re ancient! We’re not down with the kids anymore. We only relate to old codgers who have jobs and stuff. I didn’t fall for it, and I’ll bet that no one else did either.

If you’re 16, and feel like watching a bit of fluff, then you’ll like this. But I’m pretty certain even most teenagers are past this kind of stuff. I imagine that most of them will feel patronised by the new 90210 and be switching the TV off. Expect this to get canned after one season.