Hollyoaks, like no other show on TV, brings out the snob in people. When I mention to people that I watch the show with an alarming regularity, they spit and hiss about how dreadful it is… despite the fact they watch the infinitely cheaper looking and not-nearly-as-entertaining Coronation Street or whatever. While all the other soaps focus on ‘gritty realism’ (ie, people crying and/or shouting), Hollyoaks is quietly subverting the genre. Of late, it’s dealt with playing with sexuality, contains the blurred line of bisexual characters… as well as death, sobbing, grief and all those other soap faves. Now, it seems that one of the last taboos of soapsville is being approached (unless I’m imagining things)…

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The taboo that seems to be imminent, and one that I think should be tackled by a soap, is that of the threesome. In all my days of watching soaps, I can’t recall a time when someone had a drunken mini-orgy and now, it seems to be on the cards. Nancy (our resident whine-bag), her fella Ravi (plank-like beefcake and closet bisexual) and Chris (out-and-out bisexual and rasping Nironite) seem to be gliding toward a riot in the sack.

The safe money is on the fact that our trash-glam Chris is going to have it off with the pair of them separately, thus causing a whole heap of soap turmoil. However, during the week, there was a scene which implied that they’re all destined for the same bed at the same time! Nancy’s playful (and hammered) “depends if he’s man enough…” implied a menage-a-trois, before resulting in some lame-ass prank. The various flirtings that have gone on since all allude to a cheeky tryst.

That said, I imagine the makers of the show will chicken out of this notion, which they seem to be testing the waters on… but they shouldn’t. Fact is, a threesome would titillate those that like a bit of the TV other, as well as address the last great taboo of TV soaps. Fact is, this kind of thing goes on all the time and with it, could hit a few uncomfortable truths along the way… dealing with the fallout, jealousy, feeling inadequate… so come on Hollyoaks! Do it! It’ll make for surprisingly frank and forward telly and, most importantly, it will stop me looking like some perv who has imagined the whole thing in his mucky brain.