Just when you thought this lame excuse for a drama couldn’t get any worse, a bunch of misfit archetypes travellers comes wandering in and sets up camp. There’s The Man Who Talks to God, the Pregnant One, Brooding And Slightly Dangerous Man, and Nympho Girl. And then there’s a bunch of people who never actually say anything but instead are there to bump the numbers up and make it look like a credible group. Only this group are never… ever… going to be credible.

For a start when the Pregnant One starts to give birth she sound as though she’s doing an impression of a train. “Whoo-whooooo,” she goes. “Whoo-whooooo!” And sure enough, something’s coming down the tunnel. Only it’s stuck. Who’d have thought it? The baby’s breach! Oh my God!! We need a doctor! But we don’t have one! Yes we do! No we don’t! Yes we do!

Flashback to the awful moment when Anya lost her lover. Played by Freema Agyeman. A perfect part for her, because it involves adopting a confused look. And then dying.

The Previously Pregnant One collapses. Instant diagnosis from Doctor Anya: she has a heart condition. She proceeds to do an impersonation of Adam from Casualty. “I’m NOT going to lose you,” she grits, while performing small jerking movements meant to imitate CPR but not really coming close. “She’s back!” she announces proudly. This melodramatic bollocks actually had me laughing out loud.

The Man Who Talks to God turned out to be schizophrenic, of course. And with all these medical conditions flying about this began to look even more like an episode of Casualty, only without the drama. Or the story. Or the acting.

Paterson Joseph cast around looking desperately for a way out of the programme. He never wanted to stick around, remember? Only his agent made him stay and now he’s at risk of falling for the lovely Abby. She’s the one who’s looking for her son, Peter. In case you’d forgotten. Yes, come on, you can’t have forgotten. He’s 12. She mentions him at least twice in every episode.

Tom Price, who had overheard Anya’s conversation about the Girl Who Looks Confused, dug deeper into the stereotype of his role and discovered a nugget of homophobia. It gleamed darkly. He polished it and watched it glinting in the last rays of the dying sun. My precioussssss. He held it out to Anya. “You didn’t tell me you’re a dyke,” he whispered lovingly. Groundbreaking stuff, I think you’ll agree. But they got over it. It was OK, because Anya “has also been with men.” Phew! Sarah’s not best pleased though, as she’s been subtly (OK, not so subtly) eyeing up Tom for herself.

The publicity for this week’s show would have you believe that “at last, the plague survivors start to form a cohesive group.” That’s cohesive in the sense that at least one of them continues to lie, one of them is desperately jealous of another, one of them wants to leave and one of them is more interested in finding her son. Peter. Who’s 12.

Still, don’t miss next week’s finale. They’ve saved all the action for last, so that the series can go out with a bang and hope to convince enough people to make more of this dreck.