Lovely Len Goodman was off this week – the only reason given was that he “had to be in the UK”. He was replaced by guest judge, Michael Flatley. Yeah, Feet of Flames/Riverdance Michael Flatley. Apparently, he’s the most successful dancer of all time, since his shows have grossed over a billion dollars. I still find him a bit … odd. There’s a touch of the Celine Dions about him.

The thing I was most looking forward to this week was the group hip hop routine. 82-year-old Cloris Leachman dancing hip hop? That would be something to see, wouldn’t it. Wouldn’t it?

But before that, we had the, you know, competition. Maurice Greene was out first with a viennese waltz, not one of my favourite dances. Anyway, his VW was much more dynamic than any of last week’s UK routines, but it still didn’t thrill me. I think it’s because there’s no chemistry between him and his partner, Cheryl.

Last week, Lance Bass suffered the biggest points drop of the series. His jive this week was very entertaining, but I thought it was flat-footed. The judges loved it though.

I haven’t warmed up to Susan Lucci at all. She seems like a real cold fish and none of her dances have had any chemistry or atmosphere and her mambo was no exception. Plus I’m constantly distracted by her ridiculous fake boobs – it’s like looking at Victoria Beckham in 30 years’ time. (And don’t think we won’t still be looking at Victoria Beckham in 30 years’ time.)

Brooke Burke injured her foot last week and so missed a day’s training for this week’s rumba. Even so, it was okay, but you could see that she didn’t have her usual confidence. Michael Flatley raved, calling it “intoxicating”, but neither Carrie Ann nor Bruno were impressed. Flatley gave it a 10, but the other two gave 8s.

Cloris Leachman did a cha cha cha and I liked it. But then I like her. She did the most actual dancing of any of the routines and ended with that flying move John Sergeant did with Christina on Strictly last week, which is pretty amazing. I still prefer her to Susan Lucci – at least Cloris does it with heart. Then again, as Carrie Ann said, it’s a bit much that Toni Braxton has gone and Cloris is still in.

Carrie Ann called Cody Linley’s samba “intense” and it was. A samba is supposed to be fun, but, as Bruno said, there was no exuberance, it was more like a paso doble. In fact, Bruno seemed quite offended by it! Cody’s partner, Julianne Hough, has just found out she has endometriosis and was due to have her appendix out after the show. She reckoned she’d be back in a week, but, until she’s fit, Cody will be training and dancing with Edyta, who, along with her partner Jeff Ross, went out in the first show.

Easily my favourite dance of the night was Warren Sapp’s rumba. He didn’t do all that much dancing, but the choreography really told a story and it was sexy. He and Kym have great chemistry and I love his enthusiasm.

And then it was time for the “Old School Hip Hop” group dance… and it was just horrible. They put Cloris and Corky up on the stage out of the way, but Susan Lucci was almost as bad, she clearly had no clue what she was doing. I’d like to say at least they looked like they were having fun, but they didn’t.

I wanted – and expected – to see Cloris and Susan Lucci in the bottom two, but I think Maurice Greene’s days are numbered too.

I didn’t watch the results show and, having read about it – performances from The Pussycat Dolls, Michael Flatley and a repeat of the group dance – I’m relieved. Anyway, I was right: Susan Lucci and Cloris were in the bottom two (though not necessarily the two contestants with the fewest votes) and Cloris was – finally – out.

Dancing With the Stars, Watch, Friday 7 November, 9pm

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