I know you’ve all been desperate to hear who will be appearing on the next series of ITV’s ice-dancing reality farrago, Dancing On Ice. You haven’t? Got more important things to worry about? Pah. Well, just wait until I give you some names. Then you’ll feel silly.
Todd Carty. Oh yes. Tucker/Mark Fowler/someone in The Bill will be skating for your votes. But that’s not all (obviously).
There’s also Jeremy Edwards, who is described by the Daily Mail as “Holby City star”, but I think we all think of him as “former boyfriend of Rachel Stevens, don’t we?” And – and! – “former Toploader guitarist” (former husband of Gail Porter) Dan Hipgrave. Cool.
Those three have all been photographed practicing their skating, so you can probably count on them actually appearing. ITV haven’t yet announced the line-up (they’re probably waiting for the results of the US election, so, you know, we can give it our full attention), but, according to the Mail, also appearing are Blue Peter presenter Zoe Salmon, glamour model Melinda Messenger, “rugby hero” Ellery Hanley and “2006 X Factor runner-up” Ray Quinn.
I have to say “2006 X Factor runner-up” is one of the saddest celebrity bios I’ve ever heard. Oh wait, there’s “daughter of Richard and July”, Chloe Madeley, who is also rumoured to be appearing. No, really. Apparently, she thinks it will help her TV presenting career. Wouldn’t actually doing some TV presenting be a better plan?
How many’s that? How many actually appear? Because I’ve got more names, but there might be nothing in it… I’ll just throw them out there:
Coleen Nolan, Joe Swash, Roxanne Pallett, Caprice and – and I truly, truly hope this is true – The Apprentice’s Raef Bjayou.
The show’s back in January 2009. Better go and buy a calendar so I can pencil it in (I’m not committing until I know if Raef’s appearing).
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Melinda Messenger in short lycra skate wear! grrr, I’m already setting my Sky+
Oh there’s always one!
I was just imagining that she’ll have trouble skating upright!
Just why is Ray Quinn’s bio sad? He hasn’ts topped working since the X Factor. Album, ITV show, 32 stop tour, gigs up and down the country, a six month stint in the West End. Get your facts straight.
I said his bio (as quoted from the Daily Mail) was sad, not that *he* was sad. I’m sure he’s just marvellous.
Oh please, please, please to Raef – let it be true! His outfits would be fantastic – smoking jackets and cravats on ice – a tv first and he appeals to all – princes and paupers! Oh yes please to Raef!
“Oh there’s always one!
I was just imagining that she’ll have trouble skating upright!”
lol…
I think she’s just amazing! And not just because she is getting even more beautiful with age, but she appears to be a genuinely positive role model, don’t you think? Unlike many others I could mention in her similar line of work. I’d love to see more of her (no pun) on TV.
OK, well that’s me bypassing the whole thing then!
I do think she seems like a lovely woman, but I couldn’t call her a positive role model, simply due to the whole getting the jugs out business…